In the wake of the sexual harassment scandal, The Weinstein Company is considering a name change after pink-slipping founder Harvey Weinstein. 

- They're going to go with something with less "seedy" like "The Anthony Weiner Company". 

*****

Angelina Jolie and Gweneth Paltrow have joined the growing list of women who claim they received unwanted sexual advances from Hollywood mogul. 

- Who's next? Caitlyn Jenner? 

*****

Meanwhile, as Harvey heads to Europe for "Sex Rehab" his wife of 10 years announced that she's leaving him. 

- Wow. A guy has a few thousand criminal indiscretions and his wife bails on him. 

*****

Linsday Lohan posted a bizarre Instagram video in which, speaking in an Irish accent, she says Harvey Weinstein is "being treated unfairly". 

- I think it's safe to say Linsday is back on the sauce. 

*****

Trump responded to reports that Sec. of State Tillerson called him a "Moron" by suggesting the two of them take an IQ test, adding... "And I can tell you whose gonna win." 

- He then tweeted "I know I is smart cuz my third grade teacher said I wuz. Covfefe!!!"

*****

Ivana Trump, Donald's First wife said in an interview that when her kids were little, the ONLY person she felt comfortable leaving them alone with was... Michael Jackson. 

- I'm thinking maybe Ivana should be the one to take the IQ test. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #222

Welcome to 2...2...Tuesday and Podcast #222! Today daughter #2, Jackie, and I are joined by daughter #3, Jill, around the Purtan Family Dining Room Table for a whirlwind discussion of more topics than I have room to list here. Actually, we covered so much I can't even remember them all, but the ones that I DO remember include two of the current controversies in the news:  Christopher Columbus - Hero or Villain? And the NFL football players taking a knee during the playing of the National Anthem - Right or Wrong? We give our opinions.

Plus... George Washington, Ben Franklin, Y.A. Tittle, not to mention the man who was just fired by the company HE founded, Harvey Weinstein. (How can you NOT talk about an overweight Hollywood bigwig whose strange fetishes included inviting disinterested women to watch him take showers? Pretty kinky, huh?) 

So grab a bar of soap and let Podcast #222 wash all over ya. Unlike Mr. Weinstein, we keep it clean...on an audience that's keen!  

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick

Today is the official celebration of Columbus Day... when we honor the man who proved the world wasn't flat, but Queen Isabella was. (Thank you Charlie Weaver) Christopher knew since he spent some time with her on a mattress he got half-off at the "Art Van Columbus Day Sale".

*****

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says that any of his players that don't stand for the National Anthem won't be allowed to play in the game. 

- In a related story, MSU brought Michigan to their knees over the weekend, but it had nothing to do with the Rocket's Red Glare.

*****

Oscar-winning Hollywood Producer Harvey Weinstein has been fired from the company he founded amid mounting allegations of sexual harassment of women... including actress Ashley Judd. 

-  This spells an end to production of his new movie starring Bill Cosby. 

*****

Meryl Streep repeatedly called Weinstein's actions "disgraceful and inexcusable". 

- Weinstein said the comments really hurt, especially the time she delivered them in a "spot-on" Ukranian accent. (So far, no comment from Weinstein's good friend Hillary Clinton, although Bill said he didn't see what all the excitement was about).

*****

Saturday Night Live, Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert ignored the Weinstein story on their respective broadcasts. 

- Apparently, Trump jokes, Trump Liberal Sexual Predator jokes, everytime. 

*****

Kim Jong Un has promoted his 30-year-old sister Kim Yo Jong to a high paying top post in the North Korean Government. 

- Translation: Her execution and funeral will be held sometime next week. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

Melania Trump was lambasted by the anti-Trump social media for wearing Timberland Boots while visiting Hurricane ravaged Puerto Rico. 

- Usually, when there a ruckus over "Boots on the Ground" it involves some sort of Military action. 

*****

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson went on TV yesterday to address claims that he called Prez. Trump a "Moron". He would only say that he wouldn't engage in such "petty nonsense".

- In other words, Yep. He called Trump a Moron.

*****

All 5 living former US Presidents will get together for a Hurricane Relief Concert later this month. 

- Jimmy Carter will talk about all the Habitat for Humanity well-constructed houses he's built ... and Bill Clinton will talk about all the well-Built broads he's bagged. 

*****

The ancient tomb of St. Nicholas (Santa Claus) has been discovered underneath a city in Turkey. 

- Santa was discovered in a fireplace, beneath a chimney where the stockings had been hung with care. 

*****

A couple in Saline are back on the job - side by side - after tying the knot inside the Walmart where they both work. 

- They said the wedding was "perfect" right up until the moment the groom's Uncle got drunk and caused a "Clean up in Aisle 5". 

*****

68-year-old George Foreman has challenged 65-year-old Steven Seagal to a 10 round boxing match. 

- I'm betting Foreman is going to take a Grilling. 

*****

The New England Patriots just bought their very own team plane, a Boeing 767. 

- Just to be safe, they hired a security guy to make sure the plane's tires are never deflated. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

Bob Segar has cancelled his last two concerts this year citing back problems. Meanwhile Eminem announced that his 9th studio album, "Amazeballs", is done. 

- Can Christmas morning get here fast enough??? 

- I haven't been this excited since Three 6 Mafia won the Oscar for "It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp"!

*****

Researchers have found that "Gamers" are significantly better learners than those who don't play video games. 

- So buck up parents! If the 35-year-old son living in your basement ever decides to go back to school to get his GED, he's gonna ROCK! 

*****

Tom Cruise's new movie "American Made" was his worst box office opening in over 20 years. 

- It's not the first time Tom has come up short. 

*****

Bruce Springsteen said that he won't write any Anti-Trump songs. 

- It's not that he LIKES Trump, he's just got writer's block. 

*****

The Tennessee Titans have hired a fill-in for their injured quarterback and say they never even considered Colin Kaepernick. 

- Meanwhile, Colin continues taking a knee. Both actually... praying to God that someone will hire him. 

*****

A video has surfaced of Pam Anderson signing autographs in Germany in which she appears disheveled and out of it. 

 - But she looks great if you watch the video in Slow Motion. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

"Star Trek: Discovery" debuted its first openly gay character during Sunday night's episode. 

- His first line was "Live Long, Prosper... and ALWAYS Accessorize!!!"

*****

Hugh Hefner was laid to rest Saturday in an intimate ceremony in a crypt right next to Marilyn Monroe.  

- And just like that, the expression "You Can't Take It With You" goes out the window.  

*****

After serving 9 years for Armed Robbery, OJ Simpson is a free man, released from prison early Sunday. 

- He waved goodbye to the warden, hopped into a waiting Uber and drove off into the Sunset... V...e...r...y  s...l...o...w...l...y. 

- I'm betting the "real killer or killers" are shaking in their boots, knowin' the Juice is finally back out looking for them. 

*****

The Commissioner of the NBA has asked all pro-Basketball players to stand during the National Anthem. 

- It'll be hard to tell if they comply since they're so tall they look like their standing even when they're kneeling. 

*****

It's National "Mean Girls Appreciation Day".

- So if you run into Kathy Griffin, be sure to give her a hug!

*****

RIP... Tom Petty, three-time Grammy-winning frontman for "The Heartbreakers" died Monday from Cardiac Arrest. He amassed a huge amount of hits over his 40+ year career... "Free Falling", "Don't Do Me Like That", "Here Comes My Girl", "Refugee", and "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around" (his duet with real life girlfriend Stevie Nicks) just to name a few. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

Today is the last full day of Summer, and temps in Metro Detroit are expected to reach an amazing 85 degrees. It's not often you get a chance to work on your tan while sipping a Pumpkin Spice Latte! 

*****

12-year-old singing ventriloquist Darci Farmer and her rabbit puppet "Petunia" were crowned the 12th season champs on "America's Got Talent" last night.

- Look for her new book "How to Win Talent Shows For (And With) Dummies".

***** 

During a meeting with African leaders at the UN on Wednesday, President Trump referred to Namibia, a country on the southwestern coast of Africa, as "Nambia."

- Great. How much is it gonna cost to re-embroider all of those "Make Nambia Great Again" baseball caps???

*****

In her new book "What Happened", Hillary Clinton says that there's a "Right Wing war on Truth". 

- Kinda like that whole fake Monica Lewinsky thing was part of a "Vast Right Wing Conspiracy". 

*****

A 5th-grade math teacher in Florida has angered parents after asking students to use gender-neutral pronouns in the classroom - including calling her "Mix Bressack". 

- Remember when the most confusing thing about 5th-grade math was the "new math"? 

*****

Google revealed that the most asked question it receives about sex is "How Do I find The G-Spot?"

- Duh! You just Google it! 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!  

-Dick 

45 men who dressed up like Tom Selleck's flowered-shirt-wearing "Magnum P.I." character, were tossed from Saturday's Tiger game for reasons that remain unclear. 

- I don't get it. The Tigers have dressed up like Professional Baseball Players this year, and They're allowed to stay. 

*****

During his speech to the UN y-day, President Trump said that if provoked the U.S. will  "totally destroy" N. Korea and called Lil Kim "Rocket Man".

- He's on an Elton John roll... Look for him to start referring to Sanders and his supporters as "Bernie & The Jerks". 

*****

Madonna is suing to keep a former friend from auctioning a pair of her used underwear from the 1990's. 

- So... Madonna actually WORE underwear in the 90's?? 

*****

New research found that among all bottled beer, the one most likely to cause flatulence and bloating in none other than Budweiser. 

- So ladies, if you see your husband handing your dog a beer and saying "This Bud's for You"... you know why. 

*****

David Hasselhoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach is fighting to keep her $10,000 a month Spousal support 11 years after they divorced, claiming she worked her butt off to help his career during their marriage. 

- What career???

*****

The owner of a Wisconsin Dairy Queen is taking heat on Social Media for an "offensive" poster warning customers that his shop is "Politically Incorrect" because the staff says "Merry Christmas", "God Bless America" and gives free ice cream to Vets. 

- Far leftists are also protesting DQ's "Blizzards" because they claim the name flies in the face of Global Warming. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

Toys R Us officially filed for Chapter Eleven late last night. 

- So look for "Bankrupt me Elmo" coming to a store near you. 

*****

It's National "Talk Like a Pirate Day". 

- If you're on a Cruise Ship, don't be surprised if the crew says "Ahoy and Avast" while you're on the Poop Deck.

*****

Anthony 'The Mooch' Scaramucci said that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady skipped a recent White House visit because Brady may have dated Ivanka Trump and his girlfriend, Giselle Bundchen was " jealous". 

- Brady said it's not true, but admits he's deflated by the rumors.

*****

 Famous English Actress 82 year old Dame Judy Dench says she wants to have sex. 

-  This means Larry King is about to have sex with another woman 30 years his junior.

*****

The TSA has adopted a new "Enhanced" pat down - which involves touching airline passenger's "crotch area" 8 times. 

- Sounds like Bill Clinton is about to add a whole lotta miles to his Frequent Flyer card. 

*****

Scientists at the University of Sydney say they've unlocked the secret to "Writer's Block"... listening to happy music. Sad music didn't have the same effect. 

- So I'm immediately changing the song I listen to while I work on this blog from "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" to "Whistle While You Work". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

Welcome to Thursday... and Podcast #121. In the wake of recent events, Jackie and I hunker down at the Purtan Dining Room Table for a "whirlwind" discussion of Hurricanes. I'll tell you about my personal connections to two of the strongest to ever hit Florida: last weekend's Irma, and one you may or not remember, Hurricane Donna in 1960. (Gail and I not only survived, but wait til you hear where we were when it hit). In addition to rain, wind and storm surges, we also sort out the reasons behind Snowflakes - not the ones you have to shovel - the ones who are seeking shelter in "Verbal Safe Zones" on college campuses across the country. Plus... an on-air exchange between a News anchor and a self-described "chunky" reporter that caused a virtual Tornado on Social Media. 

It's all in Podcast #121... "Weather" you choose to listen is up to you! 

Prayers for all those recovering from both Harvey and Irma...

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Kid Rock, who officially opens the LCA tonight with his 7pm concert, took to Facebook to slam critics who plan on protesting the show because he used the Confederate Flag in some of his old music videos. 

- Remember the good old days when all you had to worry about at a concert was breathing the pot-filled air at Pine Knob? Not to mention the long lines for the ladies room. 

*****

Sources say Colin Kaepernick is open to ending his "National Anthem" protest if an NFL team will sign him. 

- Finally, something Colin will stand for... MONEY. 

*****

Amazon and Walmart have already cut the price of Hillary Clinton's new book "What Happened" by 40%... even though it hasn't been released yet. 

- So now Amazon and Walmart are colluding with the Russians?? 

*****

New research found that people who let their dogs sleep in their bedrooms with them get more Zzzzz's than those who don't. 

- Thus the old expression, "Lay down with Dogs... Wake up well rested with Fleas". 

*****

The house that Lizzie Borden lived in after being acquitted of whacking her parents in is up for sale for $850,000.

- The current owner says she expects to get the full ax-ing price. 

*****

Hollywood insiders say that James Bond will get married in his next film. 

- 007 and his Bride will register at "Bed Bath and BeBond."... "James BeBond". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

16 years ago today we woke up to the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers & the Pentagon... we would also learn of the heroism of the people on board a 4th airliner that crashed in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. God Bless America! 

*****

Sunday night's Miss America Pageant turned political when finalists were asked if Confederate statues should be torn down and if Prez Trump colluded with the Russians.

- What happened to the important question about Puffy Clouds??? 

*****

Matthew Stafford and the Lions won their season opener beating Arizona 35-23. 

- Let's all take a moment to savor the chance to say "The Lions have a winning record!" 

*****

The Tigers have converted their Lakeland, Florida training camp into a public shelter for victims of Hurricane Irma. 

- And just like that, the Tigers have more of a Prayer for redemption than Joel Osteen. 

*****

Hillary Clinton says that in an effort to get over her election loss, she took up yoga. 

- And if you've ever tried to do Yoga in a pantsuit you know just how hard she tried. 

- Bill taught her the "Downward Facing Intern" pose. 

*****

Celebrity Chef Anthony Bourdain said that if asked to cater a dinner for Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un, he'd poison both of them. 

- Dennis Rodman was outraged... that Bourdain would try to kill KJU.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

Dennis Rodman is at it again, saying he thinks he can "straighten things out" between North Korea and the U.S. because he and Kim Jong Un have Karaoked together. 

- Dennis sang "I Feel Pretty" then KJU joined him for a duet of "Somethin' Stupid".  

*****

Yesterday was National "Fight Procrastination Day". 

- I lost the battle and that's why I'm telling you about it today. 

*****

Kwame Kilpatrick has a pen pal! She's a 32-year-old married mom from Southfield who is working to secure his release from the Hooscow, claiming he "got a raw deal". 

- She's obviously a member of the Optimist Club.

*****

Houston is still largely underwater as Florida braces for the biggest hurricane in History to come out of the Atlantic. 

- The last time "Harvey" and "Irma" caused this much chaos is when my Aunt and Uncle parked their RV in our driveway for a month. 

*****

Dancing With The Stars has introduced a new "Fantasy League" for it's 25th season. 

- It works just like "Fantasy Football" except most of the men who play it are gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

*****

Today, September 7th, in history: 

1921: the very first Miss America was crowned. 

- But it got taken away five minutes later because Steve Harvey read the wrong name. 

1971: The final episodes of the "Beverly Hillbillies" and "Green Acres" ran on CBS. 

- This explains why all the flags in Kentucky are at half-mast today. 

19??: My sister Mary Lou was born. Happy Birthday!!!

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

Good Luck to all the kids heading back to school today... including Gail's and my 5 year-old Grandson Brayden... (daughter #6, Julie's son) who boarded the bus this morning for his first day of Kindergarten! As of today, we have 8 Grandkids running the gamut from Kindergarten to Senior in College! I hope they all get better grades than Grandpa did! 

*****

North Korea reportedly moved an ICBM to a coastal position overnight after their Government promised "More gift packages for the USA."

- But things should be calming down since Kim Jong Un is gonna be pretty busy with homework now that Middle School is back in session. 

- Apparently, KJU doesn't realize those are gifts we would immediately return, with or without a receipt. 

*****

Billionaire Tesla CEO Elon Musk says Artificial Intelligence is the most dangerous threat to human survival, not Kim Jong Un. 

- When I think "Kim Jong Un", I think "Artificial Intelligence". 

*****

A 54-year-old Calcutta man, Ashok Bharti, was killed in India when he tried to take a Selfie of himself with an elephant. 

- I had no idea Michael Moore was even in India. 

***** 

A man in North Caroline claims he killed his wife in his sleep after taking too much cold medicine. 

- “Nyquil – the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, aching, coughing, stuffy-head, fever, so you can whack your wife and still get rest medicine.”

*****

A 5'2" female High School quarterback threw a touchdown pass in her first Varsity game with her co-ed team. 

- And just like that, the term "You Throw Like a Girl" becomes a compliment!

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

It's "National LOVE Litigating Lawyers Day".

- So if you see Geoffrey Fieger or Sam Bernstein... give 'em a hug for me!

*****

Jerry Springer is reportedly considering a run to become the Governor of Ohio. 

- But instead of throwing his hat in the ring, he'll throw a chair. 

*****

The Los Angeles City Council has replaced "Columbus Day" with "Indigenous Peoples Day" on it's Official Calendar.

- The good news is L.A. residents will still be able to get a great deal on mattresses, the bad news is "The Columbus Proved The World Is Not Flat-Screen TV Sale" has been cancelled. 

*****

A Maryland school has banned students from wearing Washington Redskins Jerseys in class. 

- They're afraid people might be offended by the word "Washington". 

*****

Scientists say that in the last two years, 200 new animal species have been discovered in the Amazon. 

- And you can have one shipped to your house in two days for FREE if you have "Prime"!

*****

A British Study found that 60% of men don't think about sex ALL THE TIME.  

- That's right... there's that one moment when we think about making a sandwich right before falling asleep.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

A new wax museum in Boston is taking heat for what critics call "ridiculously bad" wax renditions of everyone from Donald Trump to Princess Diana. 

- Yup. That's supposed to be Princess Diana. It looks more like the Love Child of Angela Merkel and Caitlyn Jenner.

*****

MSNBC and CNN criticized President Trump's tour of flood-ravaged Houston as "too soon". 

- It's a classic case of "Damned if you Do look at the Demolished Dams, and Damned if you Don't". 

*****

With tailgating season upon us, the U.S. is facing a shortage of Chicken Wings.

- So look for a "Buffalo Wild Thighs" coming to a strip mall near you.

*****  

Scientists say that drinking four cups of coffee a day may help you live longer. 

- If you buy your coffee at Starbucks, you'll be alive - but dead broke. 

*****

Kim Kardashian announced in a recent interview that her 4-year-old daughter North West doesn't like her 2-year-old brother. 

- Well, it didn't take long for that relationship to go South. 

*****

Hillary Clinton is soon to start a book tour to promote her Campaign memoir "What Happened". It'll cost you $1200 for a meet-and-greet. 

- If you decide against that, you can always meet Bill for free at the local Hooters. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

The Lion's Matthew Stafford just became the highest paid quarterback in the NFL, inking a 5 year, $135 Million deal which breaks down to $27 Mil per season including a $50 million signing bonus. BTW... Stafford's career record with the Lion's is 51-58. 

- Game prices will go up but think of all the money you'll save by not having to buy Super Bowl tickets... again! 

*****

The N. Korean Govt. announced that Kim Jong Un's wife gave birth to a baby boy back in February. 

- So now there are two chubby, bouncing baby boys at the Palace.

- Godmother Dennis Rodman is busy planning the Baby Shower! 

*****

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla welcomed their second child on Monday. 

- And if you don't "Like" the baby pics, they'll shut down your account. (Which is better than KJU... if you don't like his baby pics, he'll kill you). 

*****

President Trump tweeted that he received N. Korea's message "loud and clear" after they test fired a missile over Japan, and that "all options are on the table". 

- Kim Jong Un doesn't have room for options on his table because it's covered with food. 

*****

Kathy Griffin announced that she's no longer friends with her New Year's Eve co-host Anderson Cooper because he criticized her for her infamous video of Donald Trump's head. 

- Yup. Their friendship is as dead as Kathy's career. 

*****

This past weekend the annual "Woofstock" convention took place in California...an event that bills itself as "Woodstock for Dogs". 

- The crowd went wild when The Lab Four did a medley of "Baby You Can Stick Your Head Out The Window of My Car", "Twist and Bark" & "I Wanna Hold Your Paw". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick

It National Radio Commercial Day! 

- I don't like to brag, but it was MY idea to put commercials between your favorite songs. 

*****

A movie theater in Memphis announced that for the first time in 34 years it will remove "Gone With The Wind" from its Classic Movie Screening series because of it's "racially insensitive content". 

- They say that today, but there's always tomorrow. After all, tomorrow IS another day. 

*****

A new study found that divorced people are 14% more likely to die of a heart attack than they're married counterparts. 

- And the heart attack usually comes when they get the bill from their divorce attorney.

*****

Floyd Mayweather says he's going to retire at 50-0 following his 10 round TKO victory over Conor McGregor... just one win shy of the record held by Rocky Marciano. 

- Floyd says he's made up his mind, but after that many blows to the head, he doesn't have too much mind left. (As Dan Quayle reminded us:  "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." Wise words, Dan.) 

*****

A study by the University of Rochester found that highly intelligent people are more likely to swear and walk around naked at home. 

- Maybe they just can't find the #!!@$@!% the clothes they were planning on wearing. 

*****

Several ophthalmologists in California say they've treated patients who attempted to view last weeks Eclipse by putting sunscreen directly onto their eyeballs.

- This is exactly the kind of thing that gave Charles Darwin the idea for "Natural Selection". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

After 29 years, the Palace of Auburn Hills will officially shut it's doors after Bob Seger's concert on September 23rd; meanwhile, Kid Rock will open Little Caesers' Arena on September 9th. 

- Seger has no special plans, saying his Palace concert will be "Still the Same", while Kid says he's "Hot & Ready" to play Little Caesars. 

*****

One Powerball ticket holder in Massachusetts woke up this morning almost $759 million dollars richer. 

- And just like that he found out he has 759 million "close relatives" he's never heard of.

*****

Another bad day for ESPN... One of their radio hosts has been arrested for breaking into a neighbors condo in Wyoming "drunk and naked". 

- Lucky for him his name isn't "Robert Lee" so he WILL be allowed to go on the air as previously scheduled. 

*****

A brothel in Vienna claims that a sex doll named "Fanny" has become more requested than the Live girls who work there. 

- That will all change when scientists teach the bots how to steal a guys wallet. 

*****

A five-year-old California girl burst into tears after her Kindergarten teacher read the class books on transgenderism. She went home and told her parents she was afraid she'd become a boy. 

- This is what happens when you read "Curious George Goes To Visit Caitlyn Jenner". 

*****

It's National Complain About The Weather Day! 

- A high of 66 degrees on August 24th??? Yeah, I'm COMPLAINING! 

*****

Have a great day... stay warm... and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

I was over the moon during yesterday's Solar Eclipse. Here's a pic of our puppy "Mars Rover" waiting for the big moment. A small step for Man, but a Giant Leap for Man's Best Friend. 

*****

Yesterday's was the most viewed celestial event in U.S. history. 

- With the exception of the time Kim Kardashian Mooned a pic for Instagram.  

*****

President Trump was caught on camera looking up at the eclipse without special glasses. 

- White House doctors say they'll do whatever it takes to "Make Trump's Retinas Great Again". 

*****

Tiger Woods and his ex-girlfriend, Olympic Skier Lindsay Vaughn are the latest celebs to have their private naked photos hacked and posted on the web. 

- When are people gonna realize that there is no such thing as a "PRIVATE" naked photo??? 

- To be honest, I have no interest pics of Tiger's putter. 

*****

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is rumored to be writing a book about his political career. 

- It'll either be called "The Count of Monte Crisco" or "The Art of The Meal". 

*****

Croatia has opened a beach bar for dogs that features beer brewed with ingredients that appeal to canines. 

- Local Cats are demanding an upscale Wine Bar. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick