Toys R Us officially filed for Chapter Eleven late last night. 

- So look for "Bankrupt me Elmo" coming to a store near you. 


It's National "Talk Like a Pirate Day". 

- If you're on a Cruise Ship, don't be surprised if the crew says "Ahoy and Avast" while you're on the Poop Deck.


Anthony 'The Mooch' Scaramucci said that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady skipped a recent White House visit because Brady may have dated Ivanka Trump and his girlfriend, Giselle Bundchen was " jealous". 

- Brady said it's not true, but admits he's deflated by the rumors.


 Famous English Actress 82 year old Dame Judy Dench says she wants to have sex. 

-  This means Larry King is about to have sex with another woman 30 years his junior.


The TSA has adopted a new "Enhanced" pat down - which involves touching airline passenger's "crotch area" 8 times. 

- Sounds like Bill Clinton is about to add a whole lotta miles to his Frequent Flyer card. 


Scientists at the University of Sydney say they've unlocked the secret to "Writer's Block"... listening to happy music. Sad music didn't have the same effect. 

- So I'm immediately changing the song I listen to while I work on this blog from "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" to "Whistle While You Work". 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!