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November 16, 2017

TRUE STORY:  The trend this year is to CHARGE family members you invite over for Thanksgiving about $30 per person. 

- Nothing says "Norman Rockwell Holiday" like asking Grandma to pass the gravy and 30 bucks at the same time. 

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New research shows that due to ongoing Political tensions among family members, Americans are spending about 30 minutes less time with relatives on Thanksgiving Day. 

- Remember the good old days when all we argued about was who got the Wishbone? 

- Kim Jong Un will be eating alone since he's killed all his relatives. 

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The three UCLA basketball players who faced ten years in prison for shoplifting in China are back in the U.S. and have thanked President Trump for getting them released. 

- It's a good thing they did... or they never would have heard the end of it on Trump's Twitter feed. 

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According to a new study by the Journal Academia, boys get better grades when their classes have more girls in them. 

- Well yeah... that's more girls to cheat off of. 

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The city of Denver announced plans to build a 200mph hyperloop that will run around town. 

- Well Bully for them, but we've got the People Mover! 

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Another actress has come forward accusing Harvey Weinstein of "pleasuring himself" in front of her. 

- It's beginning to look like we owe Anthony Weiner an apology.

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick