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July 27, 2017

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is about to replace Bill Gates as the World's Richest Man, with a net worth of $89.8 Billion. 

- He'll celebrate by saying "Alexa... Who's the richest man in the world?" over and over and over again. 

- He may be the Richest Man in the World, but he's still bald. 

*****

Politico is reporting that ABC is trying to sign former Trump Spokesperson Sean Spicer for the next season of Dancing With the Stars. 

- Well we know he already knows how to tap dance. 

- Or he could land a job as a judge on "Make America's Got Talent Great Again". 

*****

A new study found that Ben & Jerry's ice cream is made with an ingredient that's also found in weedkillers. 

- Which explains why I've never found any Crabgrass in my pint of "Chunky Monkey". 

- When I think Ben & Jerry's, I tend to think "Killer Weed" not "Weed Killer". 

*****

Rumor has it that Justin Bieber cancelled the rest of his World Tour in order to start his own Church. 

- It'll be the only Church in the world where you don't Sip the Sacramental Wine, you do Shots of it. 

*****

An Uber passenger posted a video of his Uber driver allegedly having sex with a woman in the front seat while he was driving the passenger around, and claims that when he complained, Uber offered him a $10 credit. 

- Ten bucks? I'm betting the woman in the front seat got paid more than that. 

*****

The fact checking website "Snopes" is trying to raise funds to keep from going bankrupt. 

- Apparently Snopes is passe since we have another source to determine what is real and what is Fake News... Donald Trump. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick