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DECEMBER 1, 2016

Apple has been awarded a patent for a new design that would allow iPhones to be folded in half, thus making them Flip-Phones. 

- Attention Purtan girls: Apparently Dad's not so "Uncool" for sticking with his original Flip-Phone! 

- I knew my black socks and sandals made me "Fashion Forward" but I had no idea using my original Flip-Phone made me "Tech-Forward"!

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A study out of McGill University in Canada found that the more sex a woman has, the better her memory. 

- This explains why Lindsday Lohan always remembers where she hides her drugs. 

- And why a lot of married women can't remember where they put their car keys. 

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Great news... Kayne is out of the psych ward and back home with his wife Kim Kardashian.  

- Can you say "Christmas Miracle"???

- Seriously... Does it get any Butt-er than this?

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70 year old Donald Trump has swapped his "Make America Great Again" baseball cap for one that reads "USA" on the front and has "45" on the side. 

- "USA" shows his patriotism but "45" is just bragging about how young Melania is. 

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Inside sources say the iPhone 8 may have a 3D camera. 

- The technical name for it is the iAnthonyWeiner. 

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A new Twitter account called "HRC in the Wild" allows followers to track every move Hillary Clinton makes from a walk in the woods to going to the grocery store. 

- No offense, but I think tracking Bill's every move would be a lot more entertaining. 

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On the flip side, Hillary Clinton is now following Snoop Dogg on Twitter. 

- At first I was skeptical, but I Googled it and it's real fo shizzle. 

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A study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that tennis players live longer than other athletes. 

- Upon hearing the news, John McEnroe threw down his racquet and shouted "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!" 

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick