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April 19, 2018

A pic of a Detroit Tigers' fan who goes by "Chewbacca" and attends every home game SHIRTLESS, despite the weather. has gone viral. Meanwhile about 100 people were on hand at a strip club on 8 Mile last night when Stormy Daniels finally performed, dancing to "Abracadabra" by Steve Miller. 

- Between a pic of Chewbacca shirtless, or one of Stormy shirtless, the Editorial Board of @dickpurtan.com went with Chewbacca. Sorry, guys!

*****

Stormy claims that she'll donate her settlement money in the Trump case to Planned Parenthood. 

- And you can take that to the bank! Just like she will. 

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President Trump says he's willing to walk out of his upcoming meeting with North Korea's Kim Jong Un if it isn't "fruitful". 

- One look at "Lil Kim's" waist and we know for sure one thing won't be "fruitful"... the lunch buffet. 

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According to new research, the average American utters their first curse word of the day at 10:54am... but 1 in 4 let one loose by 9am. 

- WTH???

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An AP High School student in Minnesota is demanding action after being forced to use a classroom textbook that describes President Trump as "mentally unstable". 

- In a related story, some elementary schools are now making kindergartners read "One Fish, Two Fish. Red State. Blue State" and "How The Grinch Stole The Election". 

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As Bill Cosby's second sexual harassment trial continues, "America's Favorite Dad" not only claims he "doesn't like sex", he denies having a prescription for Viagra. 

- But he does have two bathtubs on his front lawn so I wouldn't rule out a prescription for Cialis. 

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick