2 Comments

The Tigers have postponed today's Opening Day game until tomorrow due to rain. 

- Great news! One more day of the Tigers' having a non-losing record! 

*****

Researchers at Tufts University have developed a miniature sensor which can be implanted in your tooth to measure the amount of salt, sugar and alcohol you consume. 

- Why not skip the sensor and just ask Mark Zuckerberg?

*****

To stop telling her story, Stormy Daniels now says she will consider a financial settlement with Prez Trump.  

- See? It's NOT about the money!!!

*****

New research shows that going to a concert once every two weeks, not only makes you happier, but could help you live up to 9 years longer. 

- Just another reason to be happy I got tickets to see the "Insane Clown Posse" at the Fillmore downtown on Easter Sunday!

*****

Officials say 64 year old Chinese President Xi  "Had a good talk" with 34 year old North Korea's Kim Jong Un.

- Sounds like Lil' Kim now finally knows the truth about where "little dictators" come from!

*****

Trump called Roseanne Barr, a supporter of his, to congratulate her on the huge ratings for the reboot of her show "Roseanne" - in which her character also supports the Prez. 

- In a related story, Hillary Clinton called a contestant from "The Biggest Loser" to commiserate. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

 

2 Comments

An Ohio woman was arrested for for making "Lewd comments" to the Easter Bunny in a local park. 

- Police say she told him he had "a really nice tail" and asked to see his "Jelly Beans". 

*****

With Opening Day just over 24 hours away, the Tigers are still saying there are "good seats" available. 

- But if you don't go to Opening Day you're gonna miss out on 3 DELICIOUS new concession items: Brisket Cheddar Corn Muffins, Apple Pie Egg Rolls and Buffalo Sauced Cauliflower. True!

*****

The White House has confirmed that North Korea's Kim Jong Un DID go to Beijing and visit with the Chinese Prez ahead of his upcoming meeting with President Trump. 

- KJU also visited a local elementary school and had a private meeting with the Kindergartener who actually made his iPhone! 

*****

Playboy announced it will deactivate its Facebook accounts because of recent data breaches and the fact that FB won't allow the mag to reflect their "values" by prohibiting nudity. 

- So basically all those topless shots that come across your Facebook newsfeed have been "Fake Nudes". 

*****

An Army Captain who used to be a man, who recently married an actor who used to be a woman, says they are "just like any other Bride and Groom". 

- The couple says their favorite gift was a set of matching "His-Used-To-Be-Hers" & "Hers-Used-To-Be-His" bath towels.  

*****

Academy Awards President John Bailey released a memo denying the sexual misconduct allegations against him. 

- And to prove it, he says his friend Harvey Weinstein will testify as a character witness. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

Kim Jong Un is reportedly in China after leaving North Korea on his official train. (Pictured above)

- While in China, KJU plans on visiting Shanghai Disney and riding "It's A Small World"... cuz for once he's the tallest guy in the room. 

*****

Sean Penn smoked two cigarettes and admitted he was "on Ambien" when he appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Monday night. 

- And then Colbert told a Trump joke. 

*****

A woman in Ft. Myers Florida married a one hundred year old Ficus Tree over the weekend in an effort to keep the city from cutting it down. 

- I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say the tree is the strong silent type. 

- Her parents were against the marriage, saying the groom has "a shady past". 

*****

The attorney for rapper DMX, who has 15 kids by 9 different women, says he'll play clips of DMX's hit "X Gon' Give it to Ya" for the judge in an effort to get his sentence for tax fraud reduced. 

- I'm thinking the judge is "Gon' STICK IT to DMX". 

*****

New research shows that second-hand marijuana smoke can be even more harmful to your health than inhaling second-hand cigarette smoke. 

- The only difference is, people exposed to second-hand marijuana smoke don't care. 

*****

Northwestern University has hired erotic expert "Lady Sophia" to teach students a class about  'healthy BDSM practices' during next month's "Sex Week". 

- Parents can read more about it in the upcoming book "Fifty Shades of Wasted Tuition". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

 

2 Comments

Friday night I had the pleasure of attending a packed party for my daughter JoAnne, thrown by her many friends from Channel 7, on her last day at the station.  I've never been at event where so many kind words and accolades were spoken about someone. To have "that someone" be my daughter is a feeling I can't describe. In addition to funny, poignant and emotional speeches, there was a 23 minute video tribute that featured everyone from Erik Smith, Fox News' Anchor Sheppard Smith, Stephen Clark, L. Brooks Patterson, Governor Snyder, Mayor Mike Duggan, and myself (the list goes on!) to less well known faces, but equally important behind-the-scenes people JoAnne has worked with over the past 20 years. All of whom spoke about how both JoAnne "The Anchor/Reporter" and JoAnne "The Person" had touched their lives. There was great footage of her broadcasts over the years - even clips of her doing the news back on her high school radio station. The music on the video - and plastered on a huge banner at the party - was Tina Turner's "Simply the Best". I may be biased, but I think it was the perfect choice. JoAnne was... and is... Simply the Best!!

-Dick

*****

In last night's 60 Minutes interview, porn star Trump accuser Stormy Daniels claimed that she was threatened by a thug in a parking lot years ago not to talk about having sex with The Donald. Her lawyer added "She can describe his genitalia".

- Being a porn star, chances are good she'll describe it as "smaller than the guys I work with".

*****

Social media lit up during and after the interview, with people questioning whether Stormy was on drugs because her pupils were so dilated. 

- Go figure. A girl does a few hundred adult films and people accuse her of doing drugs. 

*****

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg took out full page newspaper ads around the world Sunday apologizing for giving away the personal info of 50 million users. 

- Finally! He admit's he sorry... That he got caught. 

*****

Meanwhile, according to a new report, Facebook keeps a record of every phone call and text message users send and receive on their phones. 

- So basically, Facebook is the new Russia. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

 

2 Comments

1 Comment

For parents who don't want to "pre-assign" their child's sexuality, Gender-Neutral baby names are on the rise... including Finley, Skyler, Justice, Royal, Lennon, and Oakley. 

- I guess my parents missed the boat on that concept. 

*****

The first trailer for the new Mr. Rodgers documentary "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" was released this week. 

- In keeping with today's political climate, in the first scene Mr. McFeely is accused of sexual harassment by Miss Piggy. 

*****

In response to Joe Biden's comment that if he and Trump had gone to High School together, Biden would have "beaten the hell out of him", Trump tweeted that  "Crazy Joe would go down fast and hard, crying all the way."

- I say give them a Dodge Ball and let the best man win. 

*****

A survey by a cleaning supply company found that 9 in 10 people think they've improved their partner over the course of a relationship. 

- When I think "Relationship Experts", I always think "Cleaning Supply Company". 

*****

Anderson Cooper's "60 Minutes" interview with Stormy Daniels set to air this Sunday night has been postponed because CBS says it needs "Journalistic work done". 

- It's obviously not the first time Stormy has had "work done".  

*****

Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy chastised fellow SCJ Sonya Sotomayor for using the internet as a source for info on a case they were deciding. 

- It's comforting to think that the biggest constitutional questions facing our country are being decided based on info from Wikipedia. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

 

 

1 Comment

A pic has surfaced of Stormy Daniels taking a polygraph in 2011 which one expert says she passed, and proves she's telling the truth about having sex with Donald Trump - years before he ran for Prez.  

- That pic looks more like a still from one of her porn movies: "Polly's-Graphic Test".

*****

During a Town Hall Meeting with Bernie Sanders, Michael Moore slammed the media for its "obsessive coverage of Stormy Daniels". 

- It's not that he's defending Trump, he's just sick of hearing about someone with (slightly) bigger boobs than his. 

*****

According to a new book, Queen Elizabeth has never taken to Camilla and once called her "That wicked woman" after downing a bunch of martinis. 

- Funny... I've always thought of The Queen as more of a Jell-O shot kind of gal. 

*****

Joe Biden told a crowd that if he had gone to high school with Donald Trump, he would have "taken him behind the bleachers and beaten the hell" out of him for disrespecting women. 

- In a related story, Bill Clinton says that if he'd gone to high school with Biden's wife Jill, he'd have "taken her behind the bleachers and groped the hell out of her". 

*****

Reports that Facebook gave away the personal data of more than 50 million users to political candidates has ignited a new #deleteFacebook campaign... which urges users to deactivate their accounts. 

- This is huge! #deleteFacebook has already gotten 2 million "Likes"!

*****

Mork & Mindy co-star, Pam Dawber, says Robin Williams "flashed, humped, bumped, and grabbed her on the set" of the show, but that it was the '70's and "it was fun". 

- Pam's started a new social media campaign... the #Me"NaNu-NaNu" Movement. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

2 Comments

Spring officially arrives at 12:15pm this afternoon! 

- Time to get out my Black Socks & Sandals! 

- Of course living in Michigan... Winter will continue until the middle of May.

*****

This morning, at the age of 77, Ringo Starr was finally Knighted by Queen Elizabeth at Buckingham Palace. 

- They only made him a knight after he agreed to play the drums at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding reception.  

*****

According to a new book, Queen Elizabeth has never taken to Camilla and once called her "That wicked woman" after downing a bunch of martinis. 

- Funny... I've always thought of The Queen as more of a Jell-O shot kind of gal. 

*****

New research says that if you want to avoid getting sick from other passengers on an airplane, sit in a window seat and don't get up during the flight. 

- And if you're a dog and you'd like to make it through a flight alive, don't fly United. 

*****

A man in England was arrested after handing a cop who pulled him over a fake license claiming he was "Homer Simpson" complete with a cartoon drawing of his face. 

- He's hoping to have the incident erased from his record. 

*****

Steven Speilberg announced that he will begin shooting the 5th installment in the Indiana Jones series next Spring and that, yup, the film will star 76 year old Harrison Ford. 

- Speilberg hasn't decided whether to call the movie: "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Metamucil" or "Raiders of the Lost Car Keys". 

*****

On this date in 1989 an investigation began into Pete Rose alleged gambling on his own team. 

- When I worked in Cincinnati I had lunch with Pete one day... and he suggested we flip a coin over who would pay the bill. I lost! 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

 

 

2 Comments

Two upsets over the weekend... MSU losing to my alma mater Syracuse and especially Putin winning the Russian Presidential Election with 76% of the vote!!! 

- I didn't see THAT ONE coming.  

- At last... Pic above proves Trump-Russian Collusion!!!!!

*****

A rep for Matt Damon says the actor is NOT moving to Australia to protest Donald Trump's presidency. 

- Bringing the total number of the hundreds of celebs who threatened to leave the US if the Donald was elected to Zero. 

*****

A California man who won a $19 million Lotto Jackpot in 1998 has been convicted of 4 armed robberies. 

- Which just goes to prove even rich people need to have a hobby. 

*****

New research shows that people who work with their hands rewire their brains to feel happiness. 

- Which explains why Pee-Wee Herman is always smiling. 

*****

Scientists claims that soaps and shampoos made with lavender and tea tree oil can cause boys to develop "man boobs". 

- I don't buy it. Michael Moore doesn't shower and he needs a bra more than Dolly Parton. 

*****

Ford is introducing an App called Ready.Shop.Go. which will allow customers to search inventory, lock in a price, apply for financing, and schedule a test drive before they ever set foot in a dealership.

- It's so realistic, the app actually disappears off your phone for 10 minutes after telling you "I need to talk to my manager to get this great deal I'm offering you approved". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick 

 

President Trump is being mocked for floating the idea of starting a "Space Force" that would patrol outer space. 

- I guess he figures a lot of people already think he's Darth Vader so why not go all the way? 

*****

74 year old "American Pie" singer Don McClean is dating a 24 year old. 

- He was spotted with his girlfriend driving his Chevy to the Levy... with his left turn signal on. 

*****

Disneyland is removing a scene from the "Pirates of the Caribbean" that shows "wenches" being auctioned off and replacing them with a female pirate selling loot. 

- In a related story... look for the upcoming film "Snow White Privilege and the Seven Dwarves Who Now Identify as Tall Boys". 

*****

Walmart announced that they'll roll out grocery delivery in a majority of American cities by 2018. 

- Finally! People will be able to stay home and grocery shop in their stretch pants! 

*****

Toys R Us announced that they will close their remaining 800 stores... ending an empire that started in 1957. 

- On a happy note, if you've been looking for a Malibu Dream House, it's a buyer's market! 

- Fights are already breaking out over "Going Out of Business" merchandise with women yelling "Lego my Legos!!!" 

*****

64 year old Kathy Lee Gifford, whose husband Frank Gifford died in 2015, says she's open to finding love with a man with a strong faith in God and has "his own teeth". 

- But I'm bettin' she'd settle for dentures if the guy happens to own a Winery. 

*****

An Oklahoma mom whose marriage to her biological Son ended in divorce is now headed to jail for marrying her Daughter.

- If her daughter forgets to get her mom-wife a Mother's Day Card... somebody's gonna be sleeping on the couch. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

 

2 Comments

In the Free Press Today... 

In other news...

Trump accuser and porn star Stormy Daniels has postponed tonight's appearance at a strip club in Detroit due to a bad case of "Strep Throat". 

- On a bright note, Strep Throat is the least contagious thing Stormy has had in the last 10 years. 

*****

Elon Musk announced that his first human-carrying rocket ships to Mars will begin operation early next year, but that chances are, "passenger's will die". 

- With a sales pitch like that, he's gonna save a ton of dough on advertising. 

*****

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos says he's planning on investing his money in space travel. "Amazon Rockets" will begin arriving in space in 2020. 

- Or 2019 if they have Prime. 

*****

Stephen Colbert lost a beer chugging contest to New England Patriots QB Tom Brady on TV Monday night.

- Colbert took 3.5 seconds to drink his beer... which is the longest he's ever gone without telling a Trump joke. 

*****

A new study found that, instead of waiting for the traditional "Midlife Crisis",  more than 50% of Millennials between the ages of 25 and 35 are going through "A Quarter-Life Crisis". 

- The "Quarter" comes from between the cushions of the couch they're sleeping on in their parents basement.

*****

Richard Simmons, who sued the National Enquirer for claiming that he was "transitioning to womanhood", has been ordered to pay the paper $130,000 since a judge ruled the story "wasn't necessarily negative". 

- Tell that to Mrs. Simmons! No wait...

*****

RIP Stephen Hawking.... the brilliant physicist and author of "A Brief History Of Time" who has died at the age of 76. 

- Not to say I ain't smart, but I had a much easier time reading Marcel Marceau's book, "A Brief History of Mime". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

 

2 Comments

1 Comment

Heartfelt thanks to all of you for your wonderful and overwhelmingly kind reactions and comments to yesterday's post about my daughter JoAnne! Gail and I are so very proud! 

*****

It's National Donald Duck Day! 

- So do what Harvey Weinstein and Matt Lauer do EVERYDAY! Leave your pants at home! 

*****

Card stores in the U.K. are now selling Gender Neutral Mother's Day Cards that say "Happy YOU Day" in order to be "more inclusive". 

- Buy any card you want, but when push comes to shove, your Mother is still your Mother. 

*****

A senior at a college in Pennsylvania has been suspended from class and may not be allowed to graduate after saying in class that "there are only two genders". 

- Which flies in the face of the old adage, "What's good for the Goose is good for the Gander, great for the Gander who identifies as a Goose, and awesome for the Goose who is considering transitioning to a Gander and currently considers itself a Gan-Goose". 

*****

Scientology TV officially launched Monday evening at 5 p.m. 

- Great news for people who like to sit on the couch in their underwear binge-watching Tom Cruise movies. 

*****

Sharon Stone celebrated her 60th Birthday by posting a bikini photo of herself on Instagram. 

- Correction: Sharon posted the pic on Insta-GRAN. 

- At 60, it wasn't really a "bikini" it was a support bra and a pair of leak-proof underwear. 

*****

After months of speculation, Trump fired Sec of State Rex Tillerson today, replaced him with the current head of the CIA and nominated the first woman ever to fill the vacancy. 

- Trump re-arranges his Cabinet more often than Martha Stewart. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

 

 

1 Comment

2 Comments

As the father of 6 girls, I have had many moments to be proud. The most recent: The unprecedented response by so many of you to my daughter JoAnne's news that, due to corporate restructuring of the Scripps-owned television stations and cost-cutting initiatives, her contract with Channel 7, WXYZ-TV will not be renewed when it expires this month after 20 years. Her last day on the air will be March 23rd. 

Thousands of you immediately took to facebook and other social media to lament the corporate decision and to cheer JoAnne on. More than 5000 of you at last count. 

Like JoAnne, I have read each and every one of your comments, and was struck not only by your heartfelt emotions and support, but by the words you used to describe her: "Class Act", "Professional", "Integrity", "Sincerity", "Smart", "Down-to-Earth", "Beautiful Smile". All words I would use to describe the JoAnne we have always known at home as well. 

Though I am heartbroken for JoAnne to lose a job that she has cherished and nurtured over the years, I am no stranger to the ups and downs that come with working for large corporations. (I lasted 5 weeks in Baltimore!) This is a speed bump in a wonderful career - and her mother and I have no doubt that there will be much smooth sailing for her down the road. 

Gail and I are so very proud of all that she has accomplished, both in her career and in her personal life. She is a wonderful daughter, sister & wife - and incredible mother to two exceptional teenagers. She has a heart of gold and has always believed in "giving back". Now we just have to sit back and wait to see how she will use her considerable gifts to lift up, inform, and serve the people of Metro-Detroit in the months and years ahead... And enjoy that beautiful smile around the house - instead of on TV - a little more often! 

-Dick

*****

President Trump says he'd love to run against Oprah Winfrey in 2020 because he "Knows her weaknesses". 

- According to her diet commercials, those weaknesses include french fries and potato chips. 

- FYI: The latest studies have show Oprah ahead of Trump in a proposed match-up by 5 points. Of course they're WEIGHT WATCHER points. 

*****

Meanwhile Trump has accepted Kim Jong Un's invitation to meet to discuss nukes. 

- It will be known as the "Two Really Bad Haircuts & A Beer Summit". 

*****

Last night, iHeartRadio held their big awards show... with Paris Hilton and her tiny dog, "Diamond Baby" presenting the Award for "Cutest Musician's Pet".

- Remember the good old days when "The Rat Pack" was a group of great singers, not a bunch of hacks with scraggly looking dogs. 

*****

Dem. Mass Senator Elizabeth Warren refuses to take an Ancestry.com or any other DNA test to prove her claims that she's Native American, saying it's what her parents told her and she believes them.  

- Apparently Warren has "Reservations" about giving up her DNA.  

*****

China officially abolished term limits on Sunday, paving the way for Xi Jinpeng to be "President for Life". 

- If he doesn't have to run for election, what are they gonna do with all those "Made In China Great Again" baseball caps? 

*****

A growing number of Silicon Valley execs are getting Chickens as pets to help them relax. 

- Apparently they want chicks who can't accuse them of harassment. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

 

 

2 Comments

1 Comment

Hopefully March will go out like a Lamb, because with up to 6" of snow expected, it's coming in like a Lion.

- Not a Detroit Lion... more like the kind you see at the Zoo. 

*****

The Washington Post reported Wednesday that Prez Trump now refers to Attorney General Jeff Sessions as “Mr. Magoo” -- the bumbling elderly cartoon character.

- To be fair, most of America refer to Trump as "Tweety". 

*****

Patriots Owner Robert Kraft, 76, says he's "thrilled" that his 38 year old girlfriend gave birth but denies that he's the father. 

- She had a baby with another guy? I think by "thrilled" he meant "deflated", not exactly a new word around the Patriots' locker room. 

*****

According to a new study, young kids - who play with tablets and phones instead of blocks and Legos, are having a hard time holding onto pencils when they start school. 

- It's good news for the teachers, cuz when the kids bring them an Apple... it's a laptop! 

*****

Alec Baldwin says that every time he impersonates President Trump on Saturday Night Live it's "Agony... pure agony". 

- Which are the very same words viewers use to describe WATCHING him beat the same dead horse every Saturday night. 

*****

74 year old Keith Richards claims he doesn't do drugs anymore because they're "Bland". 

- He hasn't given up ALL drugs. He's still taking Lipitor and Viagra. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

1 Comment

1 Comment

Olive Garden's new "Meatball Pizza Bowl" packs 880 calories and 49 grams of fat per serving... that's a full-day's worth of fat. 

- This is perfect for people who just don't get enough fat from their "Never Ending Fettuccini Alfredo". 

*****

Barbra Streisand admits she cloned two of her dogs, "Miss Violent" and "Miss Scarlett" from cells from her deceased dog, "Miss Fanny" for $100,000.  

- Wow. That's 50 grand a pup. 

- She even wrote a song about it... "Send in the Clones". 

*****

With more than 900 days left in office, Prez. Trump announced that he's running for Commander in Chief again in 2020. 

- Sure it's early to start talking about the 2020 election, but if it stops people from talking about the 2016 election, I'm all for it. 

***** 

British Health Officials are warning of a new Medical Condition: Selfie Addiction. 

- In my day, Mothers told their sons that too much "Selfie Addiction" would make them go blind. 

*****

The Kardashians won a copyright suit against a bakery that was named after them. 

- And just like that the "Big Butts Bakery" had to change it's name. 

*****

An Elvis impersonator named Elvis D. Presley is running for congress in Arkansas. 

- His slogan is "Make Bacon, Peanut Butter & 'Nana Sandwiches Great Again".

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

 

 

1 Comment

1 Comment

"Peeps", the iconic marshmallow Easter fav is adding 8 new flavors this year - including "Pancakes & Syrup" but 3 of them come in "Mystery Packages" with fans asked to guess the flavors. 

- I've got my fingers crossed that one of them is "Grilled Salmon".

- The Easter Bunny tried to get them to reveal the secret flavors but even He couldn't get a Peep out of 'em. 

*****

67 year old Jane Seymour just finished a photoshoot for Playboy... her 3rd pictorial for the magazine. 

- If well received, she hopes to star in the new TV series "Dr. Quinn, Naked Medicine Woman". 

*****

More than 10 people have reported sexual harassment at the Olympics. 

- If you think that's bad... imagine if Matt Lauer had been there. 

*****

Amazon's Jeff Bezos is almost done building a "10,000 Year Clock" built into a Texas mountain that ticks once a year, has a century hand that advances once every 100 years, and a giant bird that pops out every thousand years. 

- Sounds like Bezos is the one who is a little Cuckoo. 

*****

A study out of the University of California found that drinking two glasses of beer or wine everyday increases your chances of living into your 90's by 18% - that's more than exercising. 

- Then again, when you're in your 90's, walking to the fridge to get a beer IS exercise. 

*****

Taiwan's premier was forced to call for calm on Tuesday after people began panic-buying toilet paper amid rumours of a major price hike.

- Supermarkets say they were completely wiped out of Charmin. (Don't stop me now... I'm on a roll!)

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

 

1 Comment

3 Comments

RIP... Billy Graham the Christian Evangelist known as "America's Pastor" has died at the age of 99. After "finding God" in 1949, Graham went on to counsel a dozen U.S. Presidents & preached to an estimated 215 million people in 185 countries around the world - always with a positive message. 

*****

Three Team USA female figure skaters had a disastrous night last night, with each falling  during their opening jumps - ending up in 10th, 11th and 12th place. 

- Trump says it's not their fault and immediately ordered a bunch of baseball caps reading "Make Ice Rinks Less Slippery Again!"

*****

The Chinese government is cracking down on a new trend at funerals... Families are hiring strippers to ensure a bigger turn out and make the deceased seem more popular. 

- Nothing says "I'm sorry for your loss" like stuffing singles in a g-string. 

- So you can pay your respects and pay for a lap dance at the same time. 

*****

KFC has closed dozens of it's restaurants in Great Britain due to a shortage of chickens. 

- If they need Chickens, why not just get some from the French???

*****

The latest trend in Plastic Surgery is "Belly Button Augmentation" with women going under the knife to get "innies" to replace their "outies". 

- I'm confused. I thought being "out" was considered cool these days. 

*****

It's almost here!!!  The 31st Annual Salvation Army 16 Hour Radiothon benefiting the Bed & Bread Club is THIS FRIDAY - FEB. 23 on 760 AM WJR! That's less than two days away! The Bed & Bread Club is a truly astounding and vital program that feeds more than 4000 people a day and shelters almost 500 people a night. Everyday. 365 days a year! 

This year, the event will be held at the Emagine Theater in NOVI, from 6am to 10pm - with Yours Truly, Big Al, my daughters Jackie & JoAnne, and Kevin O'Neil hosting the last four hours. You can donate then or now, by calling 248-528-0760, go to @salmich.org or by texting the word BREAD to 91999.  

Please tune in... and more importantly, DONATE to this one-of-a-kind program that impacts the lives of so many people in our community! 

Have a great day and thanks for your support! 

- Dick

 

 

3 Comments

1 Comment

Starlet Jennifer Lawrence who famously blamed last years Hurricanes on "Mother Nature's wrath over Trump's election" says she's taking a year off from acting to "Fix our democracy". 

- I don't know about you, but I feel like I can finally relax! 

*****

None of the N. Korean Olympians have won a medal yet... leaving them afraid that Kim Jong Un will imprison them like he did members of the World Cup Soccer team who "disrespected him" by losing a few years ago. 

- On the bright side, they may get lucky and he'll just kill them.

*****

A female NY Times writer is being called out for "body shaming" for an article that suggested women over 30 shouldn't wear tight yoga pants, but stick to sweats.

- We haven't seen this kind of history making journalism since Woodward and Bernstein broke Watergate. 

***** 

Michael Moore attended an Anti-Trump Rally organized by Vladimir Putin and the Russian Government... the same people he claims Trump colluded with to win the election. 

- I don't care what he does as long as HE doesn't wear tight Yoga pants and sticks to sweats. 

*****

A Sunday school teacher in Toledo was robbed at gunpoint in front of her students... by the Church's pastor and his daughter. 

- They stole her money & phone... then made a quick Exodus. 

*****

Lucky Charms made a shocking announcement: They're adding a new marshmallow to their cereal: A Unicorn. 

- There hasn't been this explosive an announcement in the cereal world since the introduction of Fiber One. 

*****

DON'T FORGET TO REMEMBER!!!!! 

The 31st Annual Salvation Army Radiothon benefitting the Bed & Bread Club is coming up THIS FRIDAY, FEB. 23rd! The 16 Hour Event is THE FUNDRAISER for the Bed & Bread Program that feeds more than 4000 men, women and children and shelters almost 500 people in Metro Detroit EVERY DAY, 365 DAYS A YEAR!!!! Tune in to WJR 760 AM from 6am to 10pm to hear the live broadcast! I'll be hosting the final fours hours along with Big Al, my daughters Jackie & JoAnne & Kevin O'Neil... plus we'll have special guest stars and some of my favorite "Best Of" cuts from my radio show. You can even donate RIGHT NOW by going to @salmich.org or calling 248-528-0760. That number again... 248-528-0760! As always, thanks so very much for your support! 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

 

1 Comment

3 Comments

Welcome to Monday... and what a Monday it is! We're just five days away from the 31st Annual Salvation Army 16-Hour Radiothon befitting the Bed & Bread Program - coming up THIS FRIDAY, Feb. 23rd from 6am to 10pm. Today Jackie and I sit down around the old Purtan Dining Table for a special Pre-Radiothon Podcast to give you all the details of this amazing, life-changing feeding and sheltering program! The Podcast is short, sweet and gives you everything you need to know! Thousands of men, women & children in Metro Detroit rely on this program - and we rely on your donations to make it possible! Please take a few minutes to listen... you very well may end up changing a life! 

Thanks so much, have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick

3 Comments

3 Comments

No blog today... With a heavy heart, we send out Love and Prayers to all those affected by the tragic High School shooting in Florida. 17 dead. Dozens fighting for their lives. Families devastated. AGAIN. Sadly, we've been here before. Far too many times. I can't help but wonder what has happened to our society. When did atrocious acts of mass violence on our own soil become a "go-to" solution for people who are mad or angry or upset?? There are those who claim it is strictly a gun control issue. Others point to a failed mental health system. I believe both play a part. 

In my day, the biggest thing you had to worry about was the class bully pushing you on the playground. Those were, indeed, "The Good Old Days".

I talked to Jackie earlier, as I do every morning, and she was a little less upbeat than usual.  I knew why. Like hundreds of thousands of parents, she dropped her son, Charlie, off at school this morning with a pit in her stomach. "I plastered a big smile on my face", she said. "But my heart was filled with angst as I watched him walk through the school's front doors. I mean, you just never know". 

While, as Americans, we don't let the fear of these kinds of unspeakable acts alter the way we live our lives, it pains me to the core that it is something that we even have to think about. I miss the days when we could send our kids to school, go to work, attend a concert or a movie without that nagging little feeling in the back of our minds. I miss the bully on the playground. 

-Dick

P.S. I'm leaving now to head downtown to go out on one of the Salvation Army Bed & Bread Trucks in preparation for the 31st Annual Radiothon a week from tomorrow, Feb. 23rd. We'll be serving up more than 4000 meals - like the Bed & Bread Program does EVERYDAY, 365 days a year. To support this vital program, just click on @salmich.org. 

 

3 Comments

1 Comment

For the first time since 1945 Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday have fallen on the same day. 

- Not good news for women who waited all year for chocolate... which they unfortunately gave up for Lent. 

*****

KFC is giving away scratch-and-sniff Valentine's Day Cards. 

- Give one to your wife and she'll make sure you kick the bucket. 

*****

President Trump and First Lady Melania will reportedly share a romantic Valentine's Dinner at the White House. 

- Then he'll serenade her with his favorite song: "Let Me Call You Tweet-Heart".

*****

If you don't have time for Ash Wednesday services today, a church in Southfield is offering "Drive-Thru Ashes" so you don't even have to get out of your car. 

- Just don't expect the pastor to ask if "you want fries with that?". 

*****

A survey by Credit Karma found that 40% of Americans would rather go broke than gain weight. 

- The way the Stock Market has been acting erratically lately, they won't have enough money buy a Big Mac. 

*****

North Korea is keeping it's team of 200 Olympic Cheerleaders from defecting by holding their relatives hostage back home. 

- This explains the pom-pom routine that goes: "Give me a D!  Give me a K! Give me an M! Give me an F! What does it mean??? Don't Kill My Family!!!"

***** 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

SAVE THE DATE!

  • 31st Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Radiothon 
  • Friday, Feb. 23rd
  • 6am to 10pm live from the Emagine Theater in Novi
  • Broadcast on WJR 760 AM
  • I'll be hosting the 6pm to 10pm slot along with Big Al, my daughters Jackie & JoAnne and Kevin O'Neil
  • Special Guests & "Best Of" bits from my Radio Show
  • Your donations help feed and shelter hundreds of men, women & children in Metro-Detroit everyday, 365 DAYS A YEAR! 
  • You can even donate NOW by clicking on @salmich.org! 

 

1 Comment