Two upsets over the weekend... MSU losing to my alma mater Syracuse and especially Putin winning the Russian Presidential Election with 76% of the vote!!! 

- I didn't see THAT ONE coming.  

- At last... Pic above proves Trump-Russian Collusion!!!!!

*****

A rep for Matt Damon says the actor is NOT moving to Australia to protest Donald Trump's presidency. 

- Bringing the total number of the hundreds of celebs who threatened to leave the US if the Donald was elected to Zero. 

*****

A California man who won a $19 million Lotto Jackpot in 1998 has been convicted of 4 armed robberies. 

- Which just goes to prove even rich people need to have a hobby. 

*****

New research shows that people who work with their hands rewire their brains to feel happiness. 

- Which explains why Pee-Wee Herman is always smiling. 

*****

Scientists claims that soaps and shampoos made with lavender and tea tree oil can cause boys to develop "man boobs". 

- I don't buy it. Michael Moore doesn't shower and he needs a bra more than Dolly Parton. 

*****

Ford is introducing an App called Ready.Shop.Go. which will allow customers to search inventory, lock in a price, apply for financing, and schedule a test drive before they ever set foot in a dealership.

- It's so realistic, the app actually disappears off your phone for 10 minutes after telling you "I need to talk to my manager to get this great deal I'm offering you approved". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick