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Former Fox News anchor Gretchen Carlson has filed a sexual harassment suit against the networks president Roger Ailes, claiming he fired her because she rebuffed his repeated sexual advances. 

- Ailes denied any wrong doing saying, "If I was gonna sexually harass anybody it would be Megyn Kelly".

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Michigan and Notre Dame are in talks to renew their football rivalry. 

- Let's hope they do... I just hope the Wolverines never renew their rivalry with Appalachian State.

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FBI Director James Comey is appearing before the Congressional Committee investigating how the FBI came to the conclusion of not indicting Hillary Clinton over the email scandal. 

- There hasn't been anybody in a seat this hot since Ted Bundy was offed in the electric chair. 

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Meanwhile the Clinton campaign has released a bunch of ads touting her innocence in the FBI investigation. 

- Even O.J. Simpson thinks she got away with murder. 

*****

A new study found that couples who split up household chores have 0.5 more sexual encounters per month than couples who don't share the workload. 

- Question: What is HALF a sexual encounter?

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The new CEO of Ashley Madison says he's "profoundly sorry" that the website exposed the names of cheaters. 

- He's not nearly as sorry as the guys whose names were on the list. 

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A study by the NeuroMed Institute found that pasta is NOT fattening. 

- The study was funded by The Olive Garden. 

- So when it comes to dieting... "The Penne Is Mightier Than The Swordfish".

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

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Scientists have developed a software program that can detect if a person is lying in written communications including everything from emails to credit card applications. 

- They got the idea by reading the profiles on Match.com. 

- The scientists say the program is much more effective at detecting lies than human beings are... Especially the FBI.

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Hundreds of people - sans clothing - are expected to celebrate "Nude Recreation Week" in Arizona this weekend which will culminate with a dance and karaoke. 

- Nervous singers will be encouraged to picture the audience in their underwear...which, to be honest, will be a big improvement. 

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Thieves in Detroit broke into a Beauty Supply store and made off with $50,000 worth of hair extensions. 

- Police say the suspects are "armed and suffering from male pattern baldness". 

*****

Rapper Snoop Dogg will headline the Democratic National Convention's "Unity Party' for donors in Philadelphia.  

- Hillary is reportedly furious, saying she's tired of people Snooping into her personal (and highly classified) business. 

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Starbucks has revealed that it will permanently increase the price of many of it's coffee concoctions starting July 12th. No word yet on which drinks will be effected. 

- Customers are all abuzz about the news... of course it could just be the caffeine. 

- Am I the only one who misses Sanka? 

*****

Two little girls in Ottawa, Canada - ages 5 and 7, were forced to close down their lemonade stand because they didn't have a permit. 

- When asked how they were doing, the girls said "not so good, eh, but thanks for aaaskin."

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A 510-foot-long, $100 million Noah's ark attraction is ready to open in Kentucky this week.

- Pets are allowed, but only if you bring them in pairs. 

- The company that built the ark say they've been Flooded with requests for tickets. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

The head of the FBI, James Comey, announced this morning that they are recommending to the Justice Department that Hillary Clinton NOT be indicted over the use of her personal server - but accused her of being "extremely careless" with classified information contained in her emails on that personal server.  

- Hillary immediately gave a shout out to the FBI... and only charged them $10,000 for the mention. 

*****

PBS is taking heat for broadcasting footage of last year's fireworks during last night's "LIVE" show, "A Capitol 4th". They claim it's because it was cloudy last night and the real fireworks didn't look that good. 

- To make it up to angry viewers, they're offering "The Best of Joan Baez" - a 2 CD Set - for a donation of just $400!

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25 people were taken to the hospital for intoxication at a Kenny Chesney concert in Pittsburgh.

- Only 25??? 

- There's a country song in there somewhere.

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A Neo-Nazi group held a "Miss Hitler" pageant in Scotland on Monday. 

- Despite having hundreds of contestants, not one of the girls was voted "Miss Congeniality".

- I had no idea women could Goose Step in high heels. Or as they called them, "Heil Heels". 

*****

Charlie Sheen has sold his Mulholland Estate for $5.4 Million. 

- He got 100 Grand for the house... and the rest for all the Cocaine on his coffee table. 

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A Colorado Mom is all over TV, complaining that the Boy Scout Camp her son attended was not only sponsored by Hooters, but "Hooters Girls" volunteered at the camp. 

- Guess who's not getting a "Best Mom In The World" coffee mug for Christmas this year? 

- Every Scout at the camp earned their First Aid Badge by attempting to perform CPR on one of the volunteers. 

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

From the Purtan Family to yours... Wishing you a happy and healthy Holiday Weekend! 

If you're anything like me, you'll be tossing Hot & Salmon Dogs on the grill! 

As all waiters and waitresses say... "Enjoy!" 

-Dick 

Jackie on her Birthday a few years ago...

Happy Birthday to Jackie! She is not only Daughter #2, but works with me on the blog everyday. Tonight Gail and I will take her, along with her son Charlie,  out to eat at her favorite restaurant... T.G.I.Thursdays!

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A naked person took over Times Square for an hour this morning, jumping up on a 16' tall platform, doing a chicken dance, and shouting "Donald Trump...Where Are You???" 

- Hillary will do anything to get media coverage these days. 

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Meanwhile, Hillary says she knows she needs to work on her trustworthiness. 

- And if we can't trust a self-admitted untrustworthy person to work on their trustworthiness, who can we trust?

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A study by the Journal of Female Health Sciences found that American women have the biggest breasts in the world. 

- And the second biggest breasts belong to the men at Cedar Point. 

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The University of North Carolina released a list of the newest "micro-aggressions" that can't be said on campus. For example, you can no longer say "Nice shoes" because it implies you value the person's looks over their intellectual contributions. 

- At this rate, it's apparent our college students aren't going to be making any "intellectual contributions" anytime soon. 

- What's next? You can't say "Go Team!" at sporting events because it implies the players are here illegally and need to be deported back to their hometowns? 

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News reports say Taylor Swift's new boyfriend Tom Hiddleston is only dating her to raise his profile so he can land the James Bond role. 

- Taylor will reportedly sing the theme song: "The Spy Who Loved Me... But Only For A Month And A Half Before Dumping Me Like Every Other Guy On The Planet". 

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BREAKING NEWS... Shocking new photos appear to show that Kim Kardashian is wearing butt pads. 

- Apparently we all thought her butt was a Whopper but it's really only a Whopper Jr. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

A Quinnipiac Poll released today shows Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump in a statistical dead heat...and that voters don't believe that either of them would make a good President. 

- I still believe we should bring back Mr. Belvedere, the President of the Belvedere Construction Company, because as he always said, "We Do Good Work!" 

*****

74 year old Paul Simon says he's done making music, has no use for Show Biz, and admits that he now needs up to 15 hours of sleep a day. 

- And even with 15 hours worth of "Bed Head" his hair still looks better than Art Garfunkel's. 

- Simon says he might release 3 final singles... "Nursing-Homeward Bound", "The Sound of Silence When I Forget My Hearing Aids", and "I Am A Rock...With Kidney Stones". 

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Mike Huckabee's campaign has been forced to pay a $25,000 fine for their unauthorized use of "Eye of the Tiger."

- And Hillary was fined for using "Little Lies" by Fleetwood Mac.

- And Donald Trump has to pay Pink Floyd a million bucks for using the entire album "The Wall". 

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A Seattle man was arrested for scanning his penis at a self-checkout kiosk. 

- He should have just gone through the "10 Inches or Less" line. 

- He got a bar code off a sticker on a bunch of bananas. 

*****

A new Zika vaccine has proven to be 100% effective in mice. 

- When the news broke, tens of thousands of mice booked flights to Rio for the Olympics. 

*****

Caitlyn Jenner has denied reports that she'll undergo "Foot Reduction" surgery on her size 13 feet to shorten her toes and allow her to wear more ladylike high heels. 

- Caitlyn knows from her years as a Male athlete that sometimes you have to put up with The Agony of Da Feet.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

A 17-year-old Chinese Crested Chihuahua won the World's Ugliest Dog contest. 

- Owners of other ugly dogs were disappointed...but hey, Shitzu happens. 

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A man named Ronald McDonald was robbed outside a Sonic restaurant in North Carolina.

- The robbers made off with McDonald's watch, wallet, two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions... after shooting him in his sesame seed buns. 

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In a a new book, a former Secret Service Agent who worked for Bill and Hillary during the Clinton Administration claims Hillary is a "habitual liar" who terrified the White House staff by screaming at everyone. 

- Bill immediately responded saying, "That's my sweetheart!"

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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who has lashed out about Donald Trump's "Wall" idea, is building a 10 foot tall wall around his vacation home in Hawaii to keep out intruders. 

- But in his defense, he didn't ask Mexico to pay for it. 

*****

With just over a month to go before the Olympics, the Mayor of Rio de Janeiro says the Olympics could be a "major disaster" and that there isn't even money to finish the public transportation to "incomplete venues". 

- Apparently the only way to get around Rio is to hitch a ride on a Zika-infected mosquito...or as they call it: "Zuber".  

***** 

Meanwhile Police responsible for security at the Games say they haven't been paid in months and have no toilet paper at the local precincts. 

- You know things are bad when "Charmin" tops the Police's "Most Wanted List". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

This morning, the  U.S. Supreme Court rejected former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick’s appeal of a public corruption conviction, ending his bid to overturn a decision that sent him to prison for 28 years.

- On the bright side...it's a beautiful day for trading cigarettes for Ding Dongs in the prison yard!

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Grab onto your sparklers! At 9:48 tonight the skies over the Detroit River will light up with the annual Ford Fireworks. 

- A great place to watch the fireworks is inside the Windsor Tunnel... You don't get to see much of the show...but there's plenty of room to spread out your blanket.

*****

A Facebook study found that 54% of American users posted something about Brexit over the weekend. 

- And of the 54%, 50% thought "Brexit" was a new treatment for acne. 

*****

Elvis Presley's step brother has written a new book in which he claims the singer's death was a suicide. 

- A lot of people are questioning his theory... Apparently they have Suspicious Minds. 

- The thought of "The King" taking his own life has a lot of Elvis fans all shook up. 

*****

A former Secret Service agent has written a new book that claims Bill Clinton had multiple mistresses during his time in the White House. 

- This is the most shocking news since we all found out Liberace was gay. 

*****

A survey by the Travel Center found that 42% of Americans admit they've texted while driving during the past year. 

- This gives a whole new meaning to "My smartphone crashed". 

*****

Have a great day, enjoy the Fireworks and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

BRITAIN DECLARES INDEPENDENCE FROM EUROPEAN UNION...

NOW THEY HAVE THEIR OWN 4TH OF JULY! 

Huge news... Pillsbury has released a new line of Girl Scout Cookie baking mixes. 

- So now you can enjoy the taste of Thin Mints without having to buy 15 boxes from your neighbor who's trying to help her kid win the "I Sold More Cookie's Than Anyone Else In My Troop" Badge. 

- The Girl Scouts admit they stole the "baking mix" idea from the Brownies. 

*****

Bank of America customers will no longer be using PIN codes for their banking transactions, but will use their fingerprint instead. 

- It's a good move because it's so much harder to forget your fingerprint when you're at the ATM. 

*****

Apple is opening its first retail store in India. 

- So if the customers need tech support they can just call themselves. 

*****

House Republicans unveiled their official plan to replace Obamacare. 

- They're calling it "ObamaDidn'tCare". 

*****

North Korea test fired two midrange ballistic missiles Wednesday that travelled far enough to put US bases in the Pacific in danger in the future. 

- Kim Jong Un is so much more likable when he's just whacking his relatives.

*****

Starbucks is being sued in a class action lawsuit that accuses them of under-filling lattes by 25% to save money on milk. 

- Luckily, they'll be able to pay any settlement with all the money they already make overcharging customers for regular black coffee. 

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A major new study found that women who snore a lot are 200% more likely to develop heart disease. 

- And they're 500% more likely to have their husbands make them sleep in the guest room. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

The picture above is the latest "Optical Illusion" to go viral on the internet. Some people see a lake, others see a wall. 

- FYI... if you see a wall, you're probably a Trump supporter.

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Speaking of The Donald...political experts say he's going to promote his wife Melania as "a modern day Jackie O". 

- And with his history with women, Hillary will promote her husband Bill as "a modern day John Kennedy". 

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The facade of Little Caesars new headquarters in downtown Detroit will be made up of 14 foot tall pieces of glass shaped like pieces of pizza. 

- It will be the first "Building! Building!" of it's kind. 

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Police raided several of Gladys Knight's Chicken and Waffles restaurants, and an arrest warrant has been issued for her son who they believe stole $1 Million in profits. 

- Officials say he was last seen boarding a Midnight Train to Georgia. Woo Hoo! 

- Turns out Gladys' son is a real Pip.

- Gladys says that despite stealing the cash, her son is still "The best thing...that ever happened to me". 

*****

A survey found that over 5 million Selfies were posted on social media yesterday in honor of "National Selfie Day". 

- Or as Kim Kardashian calls it, "Tuesday". 

- I just can't picture myself doing something like that. 

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China kicked off it's annual and extremely controversial "Dog Eating Festival" yesterday. 

- Menu items include: "Sweet & Sour Schnauzer", "Moo Shu Bark" and "Almond Boneless Rover". 

- PETA has launched a petition to stop the festival...calling it their Pet Project. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Hillary Clinton has expanded her apparel line to include the tank top above. 

- Meanwhile Bill is coming out with a t-shirt reading: "A Woman's Place Is In The Little Room Off The Oval Office". 

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A Belgian study found that the music you listen to while drinking beer affects how it tastes. 

- For instance if you're listening to "Margaritaville", the beer tastes like tequila. 

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A study by Columbia University found that 60% of Facebook users share news articles without actually reading them. 

- I think that's terrible. Personally, I never share my microwave recipes without trying them first. 

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The National Heart and Lung Institute in London has developed a blood test that can tell you if you have a chance of suffering a heart attack in the next 5 years. 

- This is known as a "Spoiler Alert"... guaranteed to screw up your life until 2021. 

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The makers of LG televisions has announced that it is coming out with a line of TVs with a special mosquito repellant built-in to help combat the Zika virus. 

- This is great news for people who've been wanting to hang their flat-screen TV on a tree out in a forrest. 

*****

In his new book, Bobby Brown reveals that when he was ten years old he made fried chicken with cocaine. 

- He said it was "Finger Snortin' Good!"

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

2 Comments

Purtan Podcast #198: The Greatest Of Them All

Click  here to download Podcast

Welcome to a brand new week and our Tribute Podcast to Gordie Howe with our special guest Tom Delisle, longtime friend of Gordie & author of the authorized biography "And Howe!" Tom traveled far and wide with Gordie and has many stories about #9 (and Colleen) that have never been published and you'll hear here for the first time. These personal remembrances prove that Gordie Howe was not only the Greatest Hockey Player of All Time... but also one of the nicest human beings as well. 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow with my regular blog.

-Dick

2 Comments

Customs Officials at the Mexican border seized 14 rolls of bologna that were hidden under a car seat. 

- This is a huge victory in the War Against Lunchmeat. At his arraignment, Mr. O. Mayer plead "My Bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R!  My Bologna has a second name it's M-A-Y-E-R! Oh, I love to eat it every day! And if you ask me why I'll say... 'Cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with  B-O-L-O-G-N-A!"

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Canada's House of Commons has voted to make the country's national anthem gender neutral by changing the second line of the anthem from "true patriot love, in all thy sons command" to "in all of us command."

- Meanwhile, U.S. lawmakers are considering removing "Oh say can you see?" from the  Star Spangled Banner so as not to traumatize people who need cataract surgery. 

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Hackers have stolen the Democratic National Committee's opposition file on Donald Trump - which contains every negative story they have on The Donald. 

- It would have been a lot easier to just watch MSNBC for an hour. 

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A man in Connecticut became verbally abusive to a woman when he spotted her breast feeding in a Target store, telling her it was "#$%@*&^ disgusting". 

- He then left the store and headed over to do some shopping at Victoria's Secret.

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The newest NBC poll shows that 54% of voters believe that Hillary Clinton will win the Presidential election. 

- The other 46% think she's a shoe-in to win Homecoming Queen at next Fall's "Federal Prison Formal". 

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The New York Senate has passed a bill that would legalize online poker. 

- Now it just needs to pass the Full House. 

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Richard Simmons has broken his silence and says he's NOT transitioning into a woman. 

- He doesn't need to transition... I'm pretty sure he's been a woman since the 1970's. 

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A new study found that eating whole grains can help you live longer. 

- But if you get those grains from eating Fiber One, you'll spend those extra years in the bathroom. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick 

 

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Another tragic event... Our hearts and prayers go out to the victims and families devastated by the apparent “Lone Wolf Islamic Terrorist" attack at the Orlando nightclub early Sunday morning. 

Also, due to a bizarre series of events involving my old laptop which gave out Friday, and the new one I bought but had different configurations, we were unable to record our tribute Podcast to Gordie Howe with Tom Delisle.  So instead, I’ve posted the fascinating article Tom wrote about Gordie - the man he knew so well - that was featured in Sunday’s Free Press. Sorry about the confusion. Here's the article...

*****

He was a miracle.

He was the most graceful man who ever lived.

He was the most powerful man who ever lived.

Don’t believe me? Ask anyone who spent electric winter nights at Detroit’s holy cathedral of hockey, Olympia Stadium, in 1946-71 to see Gordie Howe, Number Nine, God’s gift to ice hockey, Canada’s gift to Detroit.

Just to see him jump over the boards and slowly take the ice at Olympia, his pained and graceful steps offering little evidence of the power that coiled inside him was a great and unique thrill.

Incredibly he won six Most Valuable Player trophies in his 26 seasons, he led the league in scoring six years — even landing in the top five in NHL scoring for an astonishing 20 consecutive seasons. And amid all that offensive flare, Howe was the toughest, meanest, most defensively adept and most powerful forward to play the game … to ever play the game.

There is a common saying currently popular among come-lately fans, ESPN types, who praise Number Nine by describing a “Gordie Howe Hat Trick” as Gordie scoring a goal, an assist and piling on a fight in one game. Unfortunately for those converts, Howe almost never engaged in a fight in his contests … mostly because nobody would fight him. The last man who gave it a full effort was a New York Rangers madman named Leapin’ Lou Fontinato, who had his face rearranged so drastically by Howe in New York in 1959 that Louie ended up with his nose saying hello to his left ear.

Whack, whack, whack, whack. It was, said the referee, “like a man chopping wood.”

How respected was Howe by his opponents?

In the mid-1960s, the talented captain of the champion Toronto Maple Leafs, center Dave Keon, told a reporter: “There are six teams in the National Hockey League — Montreal, Toronto, New York, Chicago, Boston and Gordie Howe.”

As a Baby Boomer who was raised on family stories of Ty Cobb and Joe Louis and Bobby Layne, it was Gordie Howe who was portrayed as a Superman by my family in the ’50s. “His reflexes are unbelievable,” my father used to say. “God-given talent; no one like him.” “If he took it in his mind, he could be the heavyweight champion of the world,” my grandfather often claimed.

Although Howe was one of the toughest and most vicious players to ever play, he was also one of the most humble and kindest persons off the ice as hundreds of fans witnessed through the years.

Here’s my first encounter with my hero.

It was just one week after the 1955 Stanley Cup victory that Gordie and his mates came to our neighborhood church on Detroit’s east side to celebrate the wedding of defensive forward stalwart Marty Pavelich.

With my Topps Red Wings hockey cards jammed in my 8-year-old fist and an autograph booklet in the other, I led the local kids on mad charges from All-Stars Ted Lindsay to Red Kelly to Terry Sawchuk across the church grounds of Our Lady of Good Counsel parish. But it was Big Gordie that everyone sought, even the adults.

I was the first to waylay him and his then-pregnant wife Colleen in their 1955 Oldsmobile on the Friday night of the wedding rehearsal.

Back at my post early the next morning, with a cordial “Hey, Gordie, remember me?” to refresh our 12-hour friendship, I found myself being hoisted by his powerful hands up in the air … spun around so I was facing forward … and placed upon his shoulders high above the teeming crowd. From that fabulous vantage point, I was the envy of every kid in our neighborhood, being walked around the Red Wings church-front reception on the shoulders of the greatest hockey player in the world.

A shot of the “Purtan No Stars” team in 1972. Front Row: (Left) Rip Collins, Detroit Lions Equipment man; Tom DeLisle, Mayor Gribb’s Executive Assistant ( at that time); Dick Purtan, CKLW radio; Ted Pearse, TV sales; Sonny Grandelius, MSU All American and New York Giants; Gordie Howe.Second Row: Lou Schuck, Purtan's radio engineer; Bob Posch, area singer and entertainer; Tom Ryan, Purtan's producer; Kelly Burke, WXYZ News reporter,Earl Morrall, MSU All American and former Detroit Lion; Tom Kelly, Channel 2 sports anchor; Jim Davis, WXYZ radio afternoon host; Jim Price, former Detroit Tiger. (Photo: Courtesy of Tom DeLisle)


My personal history with Gordie Howe was filled with good fortune. Besides my fabulous wedding party ride, I encountered him again and again over the years.

While working with Detroit morning radio icon Dick Purtan in the 1960s and ’70s, we had great fun fielding a media hockey team called the Dick Purtan No-Stars raising money for charities.

Gordie was working in the Red Wings front office upon his retirement and we had the great fortune to have him play for the No-Stars, so naturally his involvement boosted attendance.

From a personal viewpoint, the idea of playing alongside Gordie Howe was a dream come true for myself and my teammates who consisted of local newspaper and radio-TV personalities, along with many former local athletes from the Red Wings, Tigers and Lions. We literally fielded teams with players as far-flung as Motown singer Marvin Gaye and 1940s Heisman football legend Doak Walker, along with Hall of Famers Ted Lindsay and Bill Gadsby.

I used to notice an odd noise in the air in our first weeks of pickup practices, something that I found distracting, out of place in hockey. Finally, I was able to discern that the strange sound was a giggle … a high-pitched titter that was coming from … well … the greatest hockey player in the world. As he was swishing by us on the ice or taking the puck from a group of players in a corner, Gordie was giggling like a schoolkid. “Hee-hee … hee, hee, hee.” He was having that much fun playing the game he had enjoyed, and mastered, all his life.

One time I snuck up behind him as he was casually turning with the puck, and I was able to sweep-check it off his stick. As I chased after the now-loose disc I was thinking “wow, I just poked the puck off Gordie Howe’s stick!”

Suddenly I experienced a machine gun-like rapping on the side and rear of my hockey pants as if I was being attacked by a flock of crazed woodpeckers. It was Gordie, whacking me wildly from behind … bang, bang, bang, bang! … with one hand on his sawed-off stick. Surprised and confused, I stopped in my tracks, turning to look back, only to have him sweep quickly by me, taking the puck back off my stick, and giggling wildly as he circled and headed back up ice. Yet it was a thrill to be upstaged by the great … and giggly … Gordon Howe.

In 1995, I was selected by Colleen and Gordie to write a book with them on the history of their family. The book was titled “And Howe!” and though Colleen and I didn’t see eye-to-eye about how it should be constructed, it gave me the opportunity to live and travel with Gordie for six months that year.

In airports we sometimes hung out at a VIP lounge where I often took advantage of an open bar, but Gordie would never have more than one beer. It was a rule he never abandoned.

“I’d like to join you,” he said one afternoon as I rose to get him a can. “But I don’t ever want a kid drinking alcohol because he once saw Gordie Howe having a beer in public.” That was Gord.

Gordie was a genius in many aspects of his life, personality, and work. While doing research on the book I was able to determine that he had suffered all his life from Dyslexia, a disease that rendered reading and writing near impossible for suffering young students.

It was virtually unknown out on the Canadian Prairie during his youth in the 1930s. Gordie, because of the disease, was mocked in his schoolwork and fell behind in his studies.

He told me once of a teacher sending him to the blackboard with the instructions to spell words she called to him from the class. He failed, awfully, in front of his fellow students. “The words were all backwards, like Chinese,” Gordie explained. “A lot of people called me ‘Dummy.’ ”

Friends of Gordie Howe knew that no one with the natural humor and incisive mind he exhibited could ever be regarded as being slow or dull-witted. And some observers have wondered if Gordie’s difficult childhood — being saddled with the undiagnosed curse of the Dyslexia that plagued him — may have sparked his fierce competitiveness and aggression on the ice that sparked his amazing talent.

Wayne Gretzky went way up in my estimation this last week when he was asked to comment on the passing of his childhood idol. He didn’t mince or waste words. The man nicknamed “The Great One” stated strongly that Howe was “the greatest hockey player in history … and the finest man I have ever known in my life.”

Gordie was our inspiration … Detroit’s village champion. A once-in-a-lifetime genius who brought light into all our lives across the many decades of his public stardom. Like Muhammad Ali, who was buried amid great public acclaim on the day Gordie passed, our Number Nine truly was the Greatest … of All Time.

And a man I admired and loved like no man I’ve encountered in this life.

Tom DeLisle is a native Detroiter who was a Free Press reporter from 1967 to 1971.

1 Comment

Gordie Howe has died. He passed away shortly before 8am Friday morning at his son's home in Ohio at the age of 88. He was The Greatest Of Them All.

We'll share stories about Gordie - both personal and professional - on our Podcast up later today. 

RIP... #9. 

-Dick

A new poll found that 60% of women say they wouldn't sleep with Donald Trump for a million dollars. 

- And 70% said they wouldn't sleep with Bernie Sanders for all the money in the world.

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Friday is National Iced Tea Day and Starbucks is celebrating with a sweet deal: Buy one Iced Tea and get a second one FREE!

- Which means you'll get TWO refreshing drinks for the price of FIVE! 

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Political insiders say Chris Christie is going to write a book about his relationship with Donald Trump. 

- It's called "The Art of the Meal". 

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A California judge who was censured for having sex with an intern and a lawyer in his chambers won re-election Tuesday over an opponent who promised to “restore integrity” to the bench. 

- So now the Judge can continue wielding his gavel. 

*****

President Obama and Joe Biden are scheduled to meet with Bernie Sanders in Washington today. 

- Meanwhile Hillary sent Bernie an invitation to a "Godfather Party", urging him to dress up as Fredo, and go for a ride in a rowboat. 

*****

Macho man Vladimir Putin didn't realize his microphone was on before an interview and told a fellow dictator that he's not getting enough sleep... "maybe four or five hours" a night. 

- Really Vlad? That's not enough? Try hosting a morning radio show for 45 years! 

- This explains a lot... Maybe he's just too tired in the morning to put on a shirt. 

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"Generation Snowflake" is the new term to describe young women who believe it's their right to be protected from anything that might upset them. One University in England even banned clapping because some co-eds said it "traumatized" them. 

- There's an even better term I recommend: "Generation Get-Over-It". 

- Wait 'til the People for the Ethical Treatment of Snowflakes find out part of their name is being used in such a derogatory fashion.

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

RIP... Al Ackerman, longtime Detroit TV Sports Anchor who coined the Tiger rallying cry "Bless You Boys!", has died of natural causes in Florida at the age of 90. Who could forget "Bonds, Kelly, Ackerman, Turner"??

*****

Grab onto your gym shorts... According to the National Enquirer, Richard Simmons has had breast implants and hormone therapy and now lives as "a soft spoken woman named Fiona". 

- Look for his/her new workout video: "Sweatin' With The Falsies!"

- Why did he need breast implants? 

- Between Bruce/Caitlyn & Richard/Fiona...a certain lingerie shop is gonna  have to change their name to "Victor's Secret". 

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Despite losses in last night's primaries, and the fact that Hillary Clinton has already secured enough delegates to secure the Democrat nomination, Bernie Sanders is vowing to stay in the race. 

-  He's like a certain bunny that keeps going and going... Good old "Energizer Bernie". 

*****

Google has reportedly taught its self-driving vehicles how to honk. 

- So now drivers will have a second to realize the self-driving car is about to smash into them. 

*****

An unidentified man bought the Playboy Mansion for $100 Million, but under the terms of the deal, Hugh Hefner is allowed to live there until he dies. 

- It's kind of like having your creepy sex-crazed Uncle move in with you...but he's already there. 

- The mansion comes with 30+ bedrooms, 10 jacuzzis, and a lifetime supply of penicillin. 

*****

Kanye West had to cancel a surprise concert in New York after a mob of fans nearly rioted outside. 

- When is the last time Kanye West was involved in Anything when there wasn't a riot? 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Bill Clinton will eulogize Muhammad Ali at a public funeral in Louisville this Friday. 

- They were hoping to get Hillary, but they couldn't afford her speaking fee. 

- Apparently Bill was a big fan of the Pugilist. For our Junior readers...no..."Pugilism" is not a form of government where you get even more free stuff than "Socialism". 

*****

Burger King is testing a Whopper burrito called the Whopperrito. 

- And for those of you watching your waistlines, there's the Whopperrito Jr. 

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Speaking of eating... According to a new study, people being served by a "plus-sized" waiter or waitress are four times more likely to order desert than those who have a more slender "server". 

- But overweight or thin, they all expect you to leave a hefty tip. 

- This is why I always go to the Drive-Thru... Since I don't have a waiter or waitress, I'm never tempted to get the microwaved apple pie. 

*****

Netflix is now streaming a Bob Ross "Learn How To Paint" series. 

- The best part is, you can pause it if you have to Van Gogh to the bathroom.

*****

Walmart announced that they will soon be using drones to keep track of their inventory. 

- That means the nice retiree in a vest won't just be a "Greeter"... he'll be an air-traffic controller. 

*****

On this date in 1983, Jerry Lee Lewis got married for the 5th time. 

- The people next to the Honeymoon Suite said there was "a whole lotta shakin' goin' on". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

 

It’s D-Day.  On this day in 1944, tens of thousands of American, British and Canadian troops stormed the beaches of Normandy, France and began an eleventh month march to Berlin.  This seaborne invasion, one of the great battles in history, cost thousands of lives, but ultimately led to the end of World War II in Europe. We salute those who lost their lives that day... as well as those who lived to tell the stories.

*****

ISIS has executed dozens of it's own members over fears that they are Spies for the U.S.

- To make matter worse, before killing them, they also reduced the retirement package to 2 Virgins and a pack of smokes. 

*****

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos say he plans to lead the effort to settle Mars. BTW...it currently takes 150 days to get there. 

- But if you have Amazon Prime, you'll arrive in two days GUARANTEED.

- And if you don't like living on Mars, you can ship yourself back for free.

*****

Richard Simmons was hospitalized on Friday after exhibiting "bizarre behavior". 

- Turns out he had a fever and was just "Sweatin' To The Cold-Ease". 

- If every old guy in overly tight and short gym shorts was hospitalized for acting a bit off, the exercise room at every Senior Center in the country would be empty. 

*****

A former Secret Service Agent who guarded Bill & Hillary Clinton inside the White House is releasing a new book. 

- The book is tentatively called: "Say Yes To The Blue Dress!"

*****

Hostess is recalling 700,000 cases of donuts and snack cakes because of possible contact with peanuts - including thousands of Ding Dongs. 

- Unfortunately, not one of the Ding Dongs being recalled is running for President. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick