It’s D-Day.  On this day in 1944, tens of thousands of American, British and Canadian troops stormed the beaches of Normandy, France and began an eleventh month march to Berlin.  This seaborne invasion, one of the great battles in history, cost thousands of lives, but ultimately led to the end of World War II in Europe. We salute those who lost their lives that day... as well as those who lived to tell the stories.

*****

ISIS has executed dozens of it's own members over fears that they are Spies for the U.S.

- To make matter worse, before killing them, they also reduced the retirement package to 2 Virgins and a pack of smokes. 

*****

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos say he plans to lead the effort to settle Mars. BTW...it currently takes 150 days to get there. 

- But if you have Amazon Prime, you'll arrive in two days GUARANTEED.

- And if you don't like living on Mars, you can ship yourself back for free.

*****

Richard Simmons was hospitalized on Friday after exhibiting "bizarre behavior". 

- Turns out he had a fever and was just "Sweatin' To The Cold-Ease". 

- If every old guy in overly tight and short gym shorts was hospitalized for acting a bit off, the exercise room at every Senior Center in the country would be empty. 

*****

A former Secret Service Agent who guarded Bill & Hillary Clinton inside the White House is releasing a new book. 

- The book is tentatively called: "Say Yes To The Blue Dress!"

*****

Hostess is recalling 700,000 cases of donuts and snack cakes because of possible contact with peanuts - including thousands of Ding Dongs. 

- Unfortunately, not one of the Ding Dongs being recalled is running for President. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick