RIP... Al Ackerman, longtime Detroit TV Sports Anchor who coined the Tiger rallying cry "Bless You Boys!", has died of natural causes in Florida at the age of 90. Who could forget "Bonds, Kelly, Ackerman, Turner"??

*****

Grab onto your gym shorts... According to the National Enquirer, Richard Simmons has had breast implants and hormone therapy and now lives as "a soft spoken woman named Fiona". 

- Look for his/her new workout video: "Sweatin' With The Falsies!"

- Why did he need breast implants? 

- Between Bruce/Caitlyn & Richard/Fiona...a certain lingerie shop is gonna  have to change their name to "Victor's Secret". 

*****

Despite losses in last night's primaries, and the fact that Hillary Clinton has already secured enough delegates to secure the Democrat nomination, Bernie Sanders is vowing to stay in the race. 

-  He's like a certain bunny that keeps going and going... Good old "Energizer Bernie". 

*****

Google has reportedly taught its self-driving vehicles how to honk. 

- So now drivers will have a second to realize the self-driving car is about to smash into them. 

*****

An unidentified man bought the Playboy Mansion for $100 Million, but under the terms of the deal, Hugh Hefner is allowed to live there until he dies. 

- It's kind of like having your creepy sex-crazed Uncle move in with you...but he's already there. 

- The mansion comes with 30+ bedrooms, 10 jacuzzis, and a lifetime supply of penicillin. 

*****

Kanye West had to cancel a surprise concert in New York after a mob of fans nearly rioted outside. 

- When is the last time Kanye West was involved in Anything when there wasn't a riot? 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick