NBC To Brian Williams: "No News For You!"

CNN is reporting that Brian Williams will NOT be returning to the anchor desk when his 6 month suspension is up in August, but will remain employed by NBC in a different capacity. 

- No word on what his position will be...but I'm bettin' it won't be in the "Fact Checking" department. 

- They should have him host a show on MSNBC. That way if he lies again, only two people will know about it. 

*****

President Obama refused to confirm whether or not Prince and Stevie Wonder played a private show at the White House last weekend. 

- How are we supposed to believe in "transparency in government" when they won't even admit that two guys played a concert at the White House? 

- Sounds like we're the ones getting' the old song and dance routine. 

*****

Rachel Dolezal says there is no biological proof who her parents are, and that she's definitely NOT white. 

- I've got 3 words for her: DNA. 

- The only thing we know for sure is that on March 17th, she's Irish. Because on St. Patrick's Day...EVERYONE is Irish! 

*****

A 103 year old British man married a 91 year old woman on Tuesday. 

- Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Yup...somebody got knocked up!  

- Luckily, they've already got plenty of diapers on hand. 

*****

A judge in Japan has ruled that sleeping with a prostitute doesn't count as infidelity. He says that since money is exchanged, it's just a business deal, not "cheating". 

- And just like that Bill Clinton booked a dozen speaking gigs in Tokyo. 

- Married women all over Japan are calling for the Judge's gavel to be taken away. Surgically. 

***** 

Phil Collins bought a mansion in Florida that belonged to Jennifer Lopez. 

- His favorite part of the house is the built-in music Stu-Stu-Studio. 

*****

The Treasury Department announced that the $10 bill will feature a woman's face starting in the year 2020, they just don't know which one yet. 

- Caitlyn Jenner seems like the obvious choice since you could use her to make change for a twenty. (Before you go looking in your purse or wallet, Alexander Hamilton is currently on the $10 bill). 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here with a brand new Podcast Friday! 

-Dick 

RIP...Alan Almond

The velvet-voiced host of "Pillow Talk" on WNIC from the '70' thru the middle 90's, has died at the age of 68 from an apparent heart attack. 

You most likely were a listener of his show - especially if you're a woman - and perhaps heard the impression of Alan that Doc Andrews did on my radio show. We called him, "Alan Walnuts". I'll share some personal stories of my relationship with Alan - and play some of Doc's satirical take-off's - on my new Podcast that will be up this Friday. 

*****

Newly minted Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump told ABC that if his friend Oprah would join the ticket, the two could win easily. 

- The Donald would focus on creating new jobs, and Oprah would give everyone who voted for them a NEW CAR! 

*****

British Police are looking for a family of 12 who left the country to join ISIS. 

- It's not that they believe in the cause, it's just that ISIS has more Dentists. 

*****

Hillary Clinton released her official campaign playlist on the music service Spotify. It's filled with upbeat songs including the recent hits "Happy" and "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger". 

- Meanwhile Bill released his own playlist which includes "To All The Girls I've Loved Before", "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" and "Afternoon Delight". 

*****

The married woman who helped two inmates escape from a New York prison confessed to having sex with both of them. 

- They're considering coming out of hiding to dispute her claim. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

The Donald Will No Longer Duck Question Of Presidential Run.

Donald Trump is expected to announce that he's he's worth $9 Billion and will make a run for the White House today. The Donald claims that he'll be different than any candidate in history. 

- For instance, he'll pick his running mate on a TV show called "Vice Presidential Apprentice". 

*****

On the heels of Rachel Dolezal's resignation as the head of the Spokane NAACP for pretending to be black, it was revealed that she sued the college she attended for "anti-white discrimination". 

- This woman flip-flops so much she should run for Congress.

*****

A study by the CDC found that the average woman now weighs as much as a 1960's man. 

- Which one? Gilligan or the Skipper? 

*****

An Italian newspaper leaked a copy of the Pope's document on Climate Change. 

- It's really long... Boy can that guy Pontificate! 

*****

Jeb Bush formally announced his candidacy for President yesterday and noted that his brother George will not play a role in his campaign. 

- Apparently Jeb is now the "Decider-er". 

- He's afraid George would hang up a "Mission Accomplished" banner before the polls even open. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

Not Everything Is Black & White...

Rachel Dolezal, the head of the NAACP in Spokane, Washington has been outed by her parents that she was born white and she's just pretending to be black.

- If she ends up going to prison over this, she can star in the new season of "Orange Is The New Black". 

*****

John Stamos was charged with DUI over the weekend, but will continue plans for the Netflix sequel to "Full House" called "Fuller House". 

- Seems to me they should call the show "Drinks On The House". 

*****

Hillary Clinton gave her first official campaign speech in New York on Saturday, telling the crowd that her Presidency will be like nothing they've seen before. 

- This can only mean one thing... Hillary's gonna start wearing skirts! 

*****

A new report says that when Ronald Reagan was President, he protected himself by always carrying a gun in his briefcase. 

- As opposed to President Clinton who always carried a gun in his briefs. 

*****

A cow named "Lady Gaga" won the "Prettiest Bovine Award" at a festival in Germany. 

- To honor the cow, Lady Gaga will have it made into a dress and will wear it at her next concert. 

- This way, when fashion critics ask Lady Gaga who she's wearing, she can honestly answer, "Lady Gaga!" 

*****

Former Playboy Bunny, Holly Madison, claims that Hugh Hefner gave models drugs so they would have sex with him. 

- Bill Cosby immediately filed a suit against Hefner for "stealing his idea". 

- Hugh took drugs too... his were just colored blue. 

*****

"Jurassic World" became the the highest grossing opening film worldwide ever over the weekend by pulling in more that $500 Million dollars at the box office. 

- Abe Vigoda and Betty White saw the movie and said the dinosaurs were just like the ones that were around when they were kids.  

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #164: "We're Totally Out Of Whack!"

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #164! In this "Podisode", Jackie and I welcome back former "Purtan's Person" Joe Noune to the table for a spirited discussion including: 

- Dandelions, Weeds and Joe's claim that he's a Champion Weed Whacker...and has been since he was a teenager. 

- Two of Johnny Carson's all time greatest jokes. 

- What comic & TV Host did a lot of David Letterman's stunts come from? 

- The amazing "Border Collie Olympics". 

- Viagra for women.

- Putin, the Russians and how we could defeat them if we could just get rid of their uniforms. 

- My favorite personal Gordie Howe story. 

- "The Schmenge Brothers" - from the brilliant John Candy & Eugene Levy. 

- A surprise guest appearance by my three year old Grandson Brayden. 

- And why Joe has embraced singledom after the worst blind date of his life. 

So take a break from your own weed whacking and plant yourself down for a listen to Podcast #164!  It'll really grow on you!  (46:08)

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog! 

-Dick 

Say It Ain't D'oh!

In an upcoming episode of "The Simpsons", Homer and Marge will get a legal separation. 

- They were going to wait until the kids grew up but it looks like that's never gonna happen. 

*****

McDonald's has hired former Obama White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs as their Global Communications Chief. 

- It seems to me, if they want a guy who knows how to keep people informed about McNuggets, they would have hired someone who used to work for the Clinton Administration.  

*****

Melissa Rivers is replacing her mom, Joan Rivers, as the the new face of the "Fashion Police". 

- Ironically, Joan replace HERSELF as the new face of the show 372 times... every time she got a facelift. 

*****

Republican Presidential candidate Lindsay Graham says that since he's not married, he'll have "rotating First Ladies in the White House". 

- I believe "Rotating First Ladies" is one of the things on Bill Clinton's "Bucket List". 

*****

A recent survey found that Facebook is the number one source of breakups for young couples. 

- Are you like...totally...OMG...really...like...SERIOUS???

- If you've just broken up, instead of changing your relationship status to "Single "...there's a new button where you just click "Just Like Taylor Swift". 

*****

Two Pakistani suicide bombers blew themselves up after getting into a shoving match that accidentally set off their vests. 

- Friends say the two men had a simple misunderstanding that got blown way out of proportion. 

*****

The Pope told reporters that computers are bad because "they contain filth that contaminates the soul". 

- And he knows this how???

*****

A Japanese online dating website was shut down after it was revealed that of it's 2.7 million users, one of them was a woman.

- The men who belonged to the site are furious and the woman is...well...exhausted. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with a new Podcast! 

-Dick 

Happy Birthday James!!!

Happy Birthday to James "The Walking Man" Robertson who turns 57 today. James is doing great, and in honor of his birthday, Jackie is helping him celebrate by doing one of his favorite things...taking him to the Tiger Game! Go Tigs and Go James! 

- James is only person I know who thinks the most exciting play in baseball is "the walk". 

*****

A study by the Population Institute found that 25% of Japanese men above the age of 30 are virgins. 

- It's hard to get a date when you've been working 80 hours a week since kindergarten. 

- They could really reduce that number if they could just get Madonna to play some concert dates in Tokyo. 

*****

Dunkin' Donuts announced that they're testing out home delivery service. 

- So if you're looking for a cop, just stop by his house. 

*****

Hollywood sources say that Mr. T is coming out with a home improvement show. 

- It's tentatively titled: "I Pity The Tool". 

*****

NBC sources say that Brian Williams is "despondent" because the advance word is, the network is not going to give him his anchor job back. 

- Insiders say he hasn't been this traumatized since he narrowly escaped death when the Hindenburg went down. 

*****

Donald Trump says that his upcoming announcement about whether he's running for President will make a lot of people happy. 

- So I guess we can safely assume he's NOT running. 

*****

Miley Cyrus posed naked with a pig in her latest Instagram pic. 

- It's was a PR stunt for her new line of processed meat snacks "Pork Twerky". 

Miley also says she doesn't identify herself as a boy or a girl, and "is open to any consensual sexual behavior as long as it doesn't involve animals". 

- Cats and Dogs everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

TMI?

As part of a it's new "Reproductive Health" feature, iPhones users will soon be able to keep track of how often, when and how they have sex.

- This replaces the old technology known as "bragging to your friends about it". 

*****

Former First Lady Barbara Bush celebrated her 90th Birthday yesterday with the whole family gathered at Kennebunkport. 

- Things went great until one of the great-grandkids asked, "Who invited George Washington to the party?"

*****

Tomorrow is James "The Walkin' Man" Robertson's Birthday. 

- In honor of James, I'm listening to Fat's Domino's "I'm Walkin'" right now!

*****

An FDA Advisory panel has officially backed a new "Viagra for Women" pill, clearing the way for full approval in August.  

- Caitlyn Jenner immediately tweeted "It's About Time!" #girlsjustwannahavefun.

*****

Jerry Seinfeld says he doesn't play college campuses because kids are too "Politically Correct" and "don't know what the F#%& they're talking about". 

- Jerry was angry that day, my friends. 

- Apparently he thinks college kids suffer from "brain shrinkage".  

- When colleges offer him gigs, he responds "No Jokes for You!"

*****

A Florida principal is under fire for plagiarizing a graduation speech. 

- People became suspicious when he told the grads, "Ask not what your college can do for you...but what you can do for your college"...and then vowed that we would make it to the Moon by 2020. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

I Dough! I Dough! I Dough!

A study by Knot.com found that the average American wedding now costs $31,000. 

- That's cheap compared to the Divorce!

*****

The President spoke at the Biden funeral Saturday. 

- They wanted Hillary...but they couldn't afford her speaking fee. 

*****

American Pharaoh made history on Saturday when he became the first horse to win the Triple Crown in 37 years. His trainer says his reward will be "getting to have sex with 200 mare's a year". 

- It's very similar to the signing bonuses offered to NBA players. 

*****

Two convicted murderers escaped a maximum-security prison in New York on Friday by using power tools to carve a tunnel. 

- It's being called "The Electric Saw-Shank Redemption". 

*****

In the middle of California's ever worsening drought, the state's Governor, Jerry Brown, announced that he's showering less often. 

- And in a show of solidarity, Woody Harrelson announced that he will continue his policy of not showering at all. 

*****

Indiana's first official Church of Cannabis held it's first masses this weekend. 

- Afterwards, everyone gathered in the Social Hall for a Pot Luck dinner.  

*****

The residents of a street in Austin, Texas are thinking of changing the street name from "Bruce Jenner Lane" to something else. 

- They're also considering putting in a U-Turn lane. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #163: "Change You Can Believe In???"

Clearly Photoshopped Photo Courtesy of Dave Jankowski

Click here to download Podcast 

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #163! Join former "Purtan's Person" Joe Noune, Jackie and me (???) as we "transition" from topic to topic including: 

- What Mrs. Bruce Jenner (Kris) had to say about her ex-husband marrying her in the first place. 

- Bruce Jenner vs. Caitlyn Jenner's gigantic "speaking fee" increase. 

- Should the International Olympic Committee strip Bruce/Caitlyn of His/Her Olympic Gold?  

- Does OSU have an advantage in Football recruiting over UofM and MSU? 

- Coming soon...a sequel of "National Lampoon's Vacation" with Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo as the Grandparents. No word as to who's going to play "Cousin Ed". 

- The one Golden Rule the character voices on my radio show HAD to follow. 

- And of all the "Purtan's Person's"... ironically... who was the most difficult for me to motivate? 

So while you're trying to erase that picture of me from your mind... why not slip into something comfortable and tune in to Podcast #163?   (37:05) 

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday! 

-Dick 

P.S. A special thanks... (I think)... to my good friend and graphic artist Dave Jankowski for making me a "Cover Girl"! 

Clint Back In The Swim Of Things!

Clint Eastwood is not only directing a movie about "Sully" Sullenberger, the hero pilot who safely landed that U.S. Airways flight in the middle of the Hudson River, but also wrote some of the dialogue. 

- So look for the part where Sully goes on the plane's PA system and asks the passengers, "Are you feeling lucky, Punks?". 

*****

Taco Bell announced that they will begin serving beer and wine at some of their locations. 

- I guess they figure the people who eat Taco Bell just aren't drunk enough. 

*****

U of M's Women's Softball Team lost to Florida last night, 4 to 1, losing the Women's College World Series Championship. 

- The team would have called the Tigers for pre-game advice...but then they remembered that the Tigs had lost 5 in a row. (Now 6!)

*****

For the first time in her 56-year history, Barbie can now wear both heels and flats - opening up her footwear possibilities.

- The same thing happened to Bruce Jenner earlier this week. 

*****

A BBC reporter is in trouble for Tweeting that Queen Elizabeth had died. 

- But he's in way less trouble than Prince Charles who immediately tweeted "FINALLY!" #WhoDaKing?I'mDaKing!

*****

Comedian Jeffrey Ross says that Martha Stewart smoked weed after filming the "Justin Bieber Roast". 

- Martha admitted it's true...but says she grew the pot in her kitchen window herb garden, mixed it with a touch of basil and fresh parsley, then rolled it in handmade parchment paper. 

*****

Last night on "Jeopardy" Alex Trebek read the clue:  “Here she is at her confirmation hearing to be our nation’s top cop", while showing a pic of the new US Attorney General. Not one of the 3 contestants clicked in to even attempt a guess.

- Proving that even some of the smartest people in the country have no idea what's going on with the U.S. Government. 

FYI: When time ran out, Trebek was forced to disclose, “And that is Loretta Lynch.”

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with a brand spanking new Podcast! 

-Dick

"The Girls of Summer!"

Good luck to the UofM Women's Softball Team in tonight's Winner-Take-All Title Game against Florida for the Women's College World Series Championship! 

*****

NSA Whistle Blower Edward Snowden says it was worth it to become an International fugitive, never able to see his family again, and forced to live in Russia. 

- He claims it was important for Americans to realize the US government was spying on them...plus he now gets to go on shirtless horseback rides with Vladimir Putin. 

*****

FDA Scientists are considering a new pill that claims to be "Viagra for Women". 

- Talk about a bunch of Stand Up guys! 

- Now if they can just figure out a comfortable way for women to swallow expensive jewelry. 

*****

A Pew poll found that 61% of Millennials get their political news from Facebook. 

- Facebook is also the place they turn for important developments in where their fake friends are having dinner.   

*****

An internal study by the Department of Homeland Security found that the TSA failed to spot weapons being sneaked onto planes 95% of the time. 

- On a happy note, TSA workers reported "immensely enjoying" invasive pat downs 100% of the time. 

*****

A new brand of liquor is hitting shelves this week that's said to be inspired by the lives of porn stars. 

- Offerings include: "Absolut Tramp" and "No Wonder Jim's Beaming". 

*****

According to scientists...Chimpanzees can understand the concept of cooking and are willing to postpone eating raw food, even carrying it a distance to cook it rather than eat it immediately.

- So yes it's official ladies, Chimpanzees are more civilized than your boyfriend. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

Decatha-Lingerie!

The newly debuted "Caitlyn" Jenner set a new Twitter record by getting one million Twitter followers in just 4 hours and 3 minutes Monday.  

Meanwhile, over 10 million tweets were written about "Caitlyn's" step-daughter Kim Kardashian's announcement that she and Kanye are expecting baby #2. 

- The most exciting part to me is that Caitlyn's gonna be a Grandma! 

- I'll be honest...and this point I'm finding it really hard to "Keep Up With The Kardashians". 

 ****

Google is teaming up with Levi's to make computerized pants that would work like a touch screen phone. 

- Let's hope the camera faces out. 

- So now you'll be able to butt-dial your friends intentionally. 

- These pants are perfect for people who are too lazy to take the Smartphone out of their pocket to make a call.  

*****

A new survey found that 53% of college graduates admitted to stealing stories about their friends and claiming they happened to them. 

- It's called the "Brian Williams Effect". 

*****

Wall Street analysts say that Disney's profits are going to spike by 50% in the next three years. 

- Which in laymen's terms mean you'll soon be paying 50% more to take a spin on "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride". 

- At this point, Disney is going to have to add an Eighth Dwarf: Greedy. 

*****

A Virginia high school teacher was suspended for showing students pictures of her new boob job. 

- In her defense, it was "Show and Tell" day. 

- Nothing's fair in life...She gets fired for showing off her new boobs, and Caitlyn Jenner lands the cover of Vanity Fair. 

*****

Producers of "Britain's Got Talent" and the dog trainer who won the competition are coming under fire after a doggie "double" was used to perform a tightrope-walking sequence in Sunday night's live finale.

- Still, the performance was Spot On! 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #162: "Now THAT'S A Mouthful!"

Click here to download Podcast 

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #162! This week my wife Gail, Jackie and I sit down for a discussion of the "F-word"... and that word is "Food". On the menu: 

- Snack items we always make sure to have on hand at our house. 

- Do raisins have tiny little hairs? (We do an experiment to find out).

- The 5 letter word that seems to be the key if you want to live to be 100. 

- What are "Nonpareils" anyway?

- And some Dairy Queen treats...including my favorite Berry Pomegranate Smoothie. It's no Peanut Buster Parfait...but (I Hope!) it's a little bit healthier. 

So grab your favorite snack and get a taste of Podcast #162!  (It's fat and calorie free!) 

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog.

-Dick

Deja Vu All Over Again!

In an interview with the UK's Daily Mail, Paula Jones - yes, THAT Paula Jones - said: "Don't let Bill back in the White House". 

- Bill responded by saying "Paula should keep her nose out of my business". 

*****

Taylor Swift became the youngest woman to ever make the Forbes List of the World's Most Powerful Women. 

- In a related story, Forbes named Bruce Jenner "The World's NEWEST Woman". 

*****

A Kenyan lawyer is offering President Obama 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats if he can marry the Prez's daughter Malia. 

- The President declined, but said for just two goats he'd be willing to give the guy Joe Biden. 

*****

A Gallup survey found that 32.2% of the people in Mississippi are obese, making it the most obese state in the Nation. 

- That because all the food in Mississippi is M-I-S-S...I-S-S...I-P-P-FRIED.

- Alabama has demanded a recount. 

*****

According to a new study, drinking more than five espressos a day may be damaging to your health. 

- And you'll be awake all night worrying about it. 

*****

A Brazilian man was caught on video having sex with the tail pipe of his car. 

- At least he didn't do it while the car was running. 

- Kind of makes the usual "backseat" thing sound pretty tame. 

*****

"San Andreas" the new movie about a massive earthquake that decimates California opens nationwide tomorrow. One reviewer called it  "A Feel-Good Disaster Movie". 

- So if you're planning on seeing just one Feel-Good Disaster Movie this summer...make sure it's this one!

- This is the same guy who called "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" "A bloodbath horror flick with a heart!"

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with a brand new Podcast! 

-Dick

Hillary Will Sell You The Shirt Off Her Back...

Hillary Clinton has launched an online apparel shop that sells clothing with her campaign logo on it. So far the top seller is a tee shirt that looks like a pantsuit. 

- And just like Bill, the t-shirt doesn't come with pants. 

*****

Psychologists say that many people who consistently post "happy" pics and status updates about their romantic life are actually insecure, and want the world to know that their partner is "taken". 

- And people who consistently post pictures of their cats inadvertently let the world know that they haven't had a romantic relationship since the mid '80's. 

*****

Taco Bell and Pizza Hut announced that they're getting rid of the artificial ingredients in their foods. 

- So basically their menus will now consist of "Bottled Water". 

*****

Malaysian Airlines announced that they'll be changing their name next week. 

- They we're going to do it this week, but the piece of paper with the new name on it disappeared. 

- CNN will have live coverage of the name change announcement. 24 hours a day. For the next six months. 

*****

Art Garfunkel told an interviewer that Paul Simon "was a jerk" for splitting up the duo at the height of their popularity. 

- Apparently Art hasn't quite crossed that Bridge over Troubled Water. 

- He said he became suspicious when he saw "Paul and Julio down by the school yard". 

- He said he should have known when Paul wanted to call one of their hits, "50 Ways To Leave Your Duo". 

*****

The Olsen twins announced that they will NOT star in the updated version of "Full House" called "Fuller House". 

- I know...I'm crying too. 

*****

Tom Brady's appeal of his four game suspension has been postponed to give him more time to prepare. 

- Between practice, being married to Giselle Bundchen and this legal stuff, Tom's got a lot of balls in the air. They're under inflated, but they're in the air. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Intelligence In "Jeopardy"?

A contestant brought the house down during "Final Jeopardy" last night. When given the "Answer": "A Christian Hymn and Jewish Holiday Hymn are both titled this, also the name of a 2009 Tony nominated musical", instead of coming up with the correct response, "Rock of Ages", he wrote down "What is Kinky Boots?"  "Kinky Boots" is a Broadway musical written by Cyndi Lauper about a shoemaker and a drag queen. 

- This proves I ain't as dumb as I think i are!

*****

In a new interview, Pope Francis admits that he hasn't watched TV since 1990, thinks people care too much about their pets, and likes being around people so much that he would "make a lousy monk". 

- Is it just me or does in sound like that would be the Pope's online dating profile? 

*****

A new study says that drinking coffee may help prevent erectile dysfunction. 

- So if the lines are extra long at Starbucks today, now you know why. 

- This is not what I thought they meant when they said too much coffee can keep you up all night. 

- No wonder Mrs. Folger was always smiling. 

*****

Scientists in Kenya found a set of stone tools dating back 3.3 million years. 

- They were found inside the ruins of building with a sign reading "Cave Depot". 

*****

The Rolling Stones kicked off yet another summer tour in San Diego over the weekend. 

- It's being billed as the "Lipi-Tour". 

- The concert was over by 8pm because most of the audience members aren't allowed to drive after dark.  

*****

Chelsea Clinton has been given a $1 Million dollar advance to write a children's book. 

- Hillary wrote her the nicest "Congratulations" email! Or so we're told. We won't be able to read it until 2016. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow...Wednesday!

-Dick

Memorial Day 2015

For a dozen years following the attacks on 9/11, as we approached Memorial Day, I would read a poem on the air called "The Inscription". 

It was sent to me by an Ohio listener named Paul Reside and was written by Paul's Grandmother, Annabelle Gunnett Jones, who composed it in 1932. 

Annabelle was inspired to write the poem by her husband, a World War I Veteran, as a tribute to the Unknown Soldier, and was published by the Perry County Ohio newspaper on what was then called "Decoration Day". 

On this Memorial Day, as we remember those who have given their lives in the cause of Freedom, I hope you will enjoy my reading of the poem from the radio show, which you can hear by clicking on the link below. 

“The Inscription” by Annabelle Gunnett Jones  (1:52)

I hope you are enjoying a safe and happy Memorial Day Weekend. God Bless America!

-Dick 

P.S. Here are three songs that I find appropriate to play today… 

Stars and Stripes Forever

Whitney Houston - Star Spangled Banner

Ray Charles - America The Beautiful 

Purtan Podcast #161: "Goodbye Dave... Hello Summer!"

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to Memorial Day Weekend and Podcast #161. Join Jackie and me as we usher in the unofficial start of summer with a conversation including:

- David Letterman's last show and the real reasons he retired.

- The person who was the true inspiration for Letterman's style (and it wasn't Johnny Carson).

- Why Letterman didn't get the "Tonight Show" and why Leno did. 

- The night that Letterman lost the ratings war to Leno, when Jay asked a celeb a game-changing 4 word question.  

- The time that Jackie's ex was convinced that Letterman was hitting on her when they went to a taping of the show.  

- My favorite cable channels on TV.

- My favorite American Flag to fly on Memorial Day and what it once flew over. 

And finally...

- My memories as a kid of Memorial Day parades in my hometown passing right in front of my house.

So take some time out of your long weekend for a short listen to Podcast #161! (31:26)

And don't forget to Remember what Memorial Day is really all about... Honoring the brave men and women who gave their lives so that we could live ours in Freedom. 

Have a great, safe weekend! 

-Dick 

"The LAST Show With David Letterman"

Today's the day... After 30 years, David Letterman will host his last "Late Show" tonight. No word on who his final guests will be, but some TV critics are hoping that long time rival Jay Leno will make an appearance. 

-  I'm pretty sure we can all come up with a "Top Ten List" of reasons THAT'S not gonna happen.

(My new Podcast...going up this weekend...will delve into the whole Leno/Letterman controversy with special guest Tom DeLisle, who worked on the "Tonight Show".)

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President Obama got his own Twitter account yesterday. 

- Now I won't have to look up his golf scores on the internet! 

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A new study determined that boys who smoke marijuana before puberty grow up to be 4 inches shorter than boys who don't. 

- So I guess we know what Kim Jong Un was doing during recess at Elementary school. (Aside from shooting toy missiles at fellow classmates). 

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Apple is denying rumors that it has plans to make a hi-def TV. 

- Apparently somebody at Apple figured out that strapping a 65 inch TV on your wrist would be a little cumbersome. 

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Rumer Willis took home the Mirrored Ball Trophy on "Dancing With the Stars" last night, bringing her parents Bruce Willis and Demi Moore to tears. 

- Bruce was crying about his daughter winning...Demi was still crying about getting dumped by Ashton Kutcher. 

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Disney World is banning "Selfie Sticks" that allow you to hold the camera farther away from yourself from all the rides at their park. 

- With the exception of "Mickey's Magical Super Duper Selfie Stick" available at kiosks around the park for just $59.99!

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A West Virginia school teacher has come under fire for allowing her high school class to watch "Fifty Shades of Grey" as a reward for good behavior. She claims she had no idea what the movie was about. 

- They knew she was lying when her face turned Fifty Shades of Red. 

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick