Happy Birthday.jpeg

Happy Birthday to James "The Walking Man" Robertson who turns 57 today. James is doing great, and in honor of his birthday, Jackie is helping him celebrate by doing one of his favorite things...taking him to the Tiger Game! Go Tigs and Go James! 

- James is only person I know who thinks the most exciting play in baseball is "the walk". 

*****

A study by the Population Institute found that 25% of Japanese men above the age of 30 are virgins. 

- It's hard to get a date when you've been working 80 hours a week since kindergarten. 

- They could really reduce that number if they could just get Madonna to play some concert dates in Tokyo. 

*****

Dunkin' Donuts announced that they're testing out home delivery service. 

- So if you're looking for a cop, just stop by his house. 

*****

Hollywood sources say that Mr. T is coming out with a home improvement show. 

- It's tentatively titled: "I Pity The Tool". 

*****

NBC sources say that Brian Williams is "despondent" because the advance word is, the network is not going to give him his anchor job back. 

- Insiders say he hasn't been this traumatized since he narrowly escaped death when the Hindenburg went down. 

*****

Donald Trump says that his upcoming announcement about whether he's running for President will make a lot of people happy. 

- So I guess we can safely assume he's NOT running. 

*****

Miley Cyrus posed naked with a pig in her latest Instagram pic. 

- It's was a PR stunt for her new line of processed meat snacks "Pork Twerky". 

Miley also says she doesn't identify herself as a boy or a girl, and "is open to any consensual sexual behavior as long as it doesn't involve animals". 

- Cats and Dogs everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick