Good luck to the UofM Women's Softball Team in tonight's Winner-Take-All Title Game against Florida for the Women's College World Series Championship! 

*****

NSA Whistle Blower Edward Snowden says it was worth it to become an International fugitive, never able to see his family again, and forced to live in Russia. 

- He claims it was important for Americans to realize the US government was spying on them...plus he now gets to go on shirtless horseback rides with Vladimir Putin. 

*****

FDA Scientists are considering a new pill that claims to be "Viagra for Women". 

- Talk about a bunch of Stand Up guys! 

- Now if they can just figure out a comfortable way for women to swallow expensive jewelry. 

*****

A Pew poll found that 61% of Millennials get their political news from Facebook. 

- Facebook is also the place they turn for important developments in where their fake friends are having dinner.   

*****

An internal study by the Department of Homeland Security found that the TSA failed to spot weapons being sneaked onto planes 95% of the time. 

- On a happy note, TSA workers reported "immensely enjoying" invasive pat downs 100% of the time. 

*****

A new brand of liquor is hitting shelves this week that's said to be inspired by the lives of porn stars. 

- Offerings include: "Absolut Tramp" and "No Wonder Jim's Beaming". 

*****

According to scientists...Chimpanzees can understand the concept of cooking and are willing to postpone eating raw food, even carrying it a distance to cook it rather than eat it immediately.

- So yes it's official ladies, Chimpanzees are more civilized than your boyfriend. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick