Have a great day... Get some sleep! ...And I'll see you back here tomorrow!
-Dick
November 9, 2016
Have a great day... Get some sleep! ...And I'll see you back here tomorrow!
-Dick
It's finally here... ALMOST. No matter how things turn out, it looks like about half the people in the country are going to be "Les Miserables"!
Have a great day!
-Dick
Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #208! With the World Series one for the history books - literally - I'll explain why one of the Indians' pitchers was being compared to Tiger Great Mickey Lolich and his incredible achievements in the '68 World Series. Then we move on to some guys who aren't being such "good sports", the Harvard Men's Soccer Team. We'll discuss why they've been suspended (and it wasn't for using their hands). Speaking of "players"... we touch on (FIGURATIVELY) Anthony Weiner and his current stay in a Sex Addiction Rehab Clinic, and with the Election just days, hours, or moments away (depending when you are listening to this) I'll share with you a very educated Brit's take on the State of Democracy in America today. In a country of over 300 million people... how did we end up having to pick between these two???
So as they say, Vote Early, Vote Often and Tune in to Podcast #208. Even if you don't like it... it's only about 25 minutes long - not four years!
Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog!
-Dick
The Cubs beat the Indians last night to win the World Series! America loves a Comeback... especially when it takes 108 years.
*****
Anthony Weiner has checked himself into a rehab clinic to deal with his Sex Addiction.
- He's doing well... at least according to the women he sexted last night.
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The FBI announced that their investigation into the Clinton Foundation is being handled by the "White Collar Division".
- As opposed to the Monica Lewsinsky Scandal which was handled by the "Blue Dress Division".
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The Clinton Email Investigation has found that there ARE emails from Hillary Clinton's private server on Anthony Weiner's laptop.
- I would have expected Bill on Weiner's wife Huma's laptop... but not Hillary on Anthony's.
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Melania Trump will give a speech in Florida today on behalf of her husband.
- Nobody knows what she's going to say... including Melania. Apparently Michelle Obama hasn't finished writing it yet.
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A new study shows that hitting the snooze button on your alarm clock confuses your body and can be bad for your health.
- As they say... "You Snooze... You Lose".
*****
According to a massive new study, the average American spends 23 minutes per day trying to find something good to watch on TV and will dedicate 1.3 years of their life changing channels.
- Actually, MEN spend 1.3 years changing channels... and women spend 1.3 years asking for the remote.
*****
According to the American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the number of Americans over the age of 65 getting facelifts has doubled in recent years.
- Boob jobs among Seniors has also doubled... and that's just with the men.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick
An unnamed “senior aide” to then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton left classified information unsecured and unattended in a hotel room during a 2010 trip to China.
- But no worries... Chinese spies only took one classified item from Column A and one from Column B.
*****
Meanwhile The Donald said Hillary's "getting debate questions ahead of time" makes her a terrible role model for his 10 year old son Barron.
- When Barron asked about how someone could cheat like that, Trump said he was left "groping for a good answer".
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Cher spoke at a Hillary Rally at MSU yesterday, saying that Hillary will show all of our little girls that a Woman can be President.
- And if Cher was running, she'd prove that a person made entirely of Plastic can be President.
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Danney Williams, the 28 year old Arkansas man who claims that Bill Clinton is his biological father will hold a press conference at noon today to deliver what he calls "a bombshell announcement".
- He doesn't have DNA proof... he's just going to announce that Bill slept with yet another Bombshell.
*****
A 19 year old Texas A&M student crashed her car after taking a topless pic of herself to put on SnapChat.
- When I was in college, if a girl put her top up while driving, it meant her Dad let her borrow his convertible.
- Police described her as "Well-toned Arms & Dangerous".
*****
Toyota has invented a way to turn your Smartphone into a car key.
- Which is great news for men who can now use their Smartphones as a toothpick.
*****
Kim Jong Un's wife, Ri Sol-ju hasn't been seen in public in 7 months, sparking rumors that the North Korean dictator may have offed her like so many of his relatives.
- NOTE TO FUTURE MRS. KJU's... Your "pillow talk" should NOT include a mention of his failed missile launches.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
It's Halloween! This year I'm going as a disgruntled voter and when the kids come to the door, I'll be handing out... Soup. This year... Bean with Bacon!
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Turns out the FBI found more than 650,000 emails on a laptop used by Anthony Weiner and his wife, Clinton aide Huma Abedin, that may contain classified info.
- I'm amazed the FBI could retrieve them... I'd assume any laptop used by Weiner would have been infected with a Virus.
*****
Hillary is demanding that the FBI release the "new" emails they have discovered.
- Being a gentleman, FBI Director James Comey replied, "Ladies first!"
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Meanwhile Donald Trump, who slammed the FBI for not indicting Hillary back in July is now talking glowingly about Director James Comey.
- The Donald changes his mind about guys more often than Taylor Swift.
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A male British Airways pilot was caught sexting pics of himself wearing nothing but thigh-high stockings during a flight. He's been suspended.
- On the bright side, his tray table WAS in it's "full and upright position".
- Hey... He Loves To Fly, And It Shows.
*****
Prosecutors in the Bill Cosby sexual assault case announced that, in order to show a "pattern", they will call 13 women to the stand.
- 13 women? That's gotta be a hard pill to swallow.
*****
The wife of imprisoned Mexican Drug Lord "El Chapo" is complaining that Conjugal Visits with her husband have been cut from 4 hours to just 2.
- Apparently she thinks an hour and 58 minutes just isn't enough time for the two of them to talk.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
A Chicago man attacked a City Bus Driver with a bag of frozen chicken.
- Hillary immediately called for "stricter frozen chicken control" and the Donald tweeted that "the right to bear poultry" is guaranteed by the Second Amendment.
*****
Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized by someone using a sledgehammer.
- Even the Donald doesn't blame Hillary saying she's not nearly healthy enough to lift something that heavy.
*****
The latest batch of WikiLeaks show that, during the Primaries, the Clinton campaign considered sending The New York Post a picture of Bernie Sanders lounging around the pool in his bathing suit.
- We can only hope his swim trunks weren't as "Transparent" as the Government he was calling for.
*****
For $179 a year passengers at Metro Airport can now sign up for a program called CLEAR that takes 10 fingerprints, scans your Iris, and takes a high res pic of your face, allowing you to go through security in less than a second.
- The TSA agents are really going to have to speed up their groping time.
*****
Victoria Secret is keeping the venue of their upcoming runway show in Paris a secret, citing fears of a terrorist action.
- There are a lot of guys who'd like some "action" with the models, but they're not terrorists.
*****
A study by the Centers for Disease Control found that 20 million people were diagnosed with their first sexually transmitted disease last year.
- That's right about the time Bill started campaigning for Hillary. Coincidence? Maybe.
*****
Twitter announced that they are cutting 8% of their work force.
- Instead of a pink slip, the employees will get a Tweet saying "Good News! You don't have to participate in this year's "Secret Santa" exchange!" #You'reOuttaHere
*****
Caitlyn Jenner was spotted at a movie premiere wearing a dress almost identical to ones worn by her Kardashian daughters. She paired it with size 13 and 1/2 strappy heels.
- You know what they say... Big Feet... Fake Boobs.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick
Get this... The NY Times published an article about a 7 year old girl who had a nightmare where a "Zombie Donald Trump" came to her home.
- Tomorrow they'll probably post an article saying that a beautiful blond "Princess in a Pantsuit" flew in and deleted the Evil Trump.
*****
According to the latest batch of WikiLeaks documents, the President knew all along that Hillary had been using a private email server despite what he told the public.
- What's next? We're gonna find out the Affordable Health Care Act isn't Affordable???
*****
Donald Trump sent out a Facebook message saying that for $69 you can have your name put on the "Trump Donor" wall in the Trump Tower.
- And if you're a woman, for just ten bucks more, he'll come to your house and grope you.
*****
Last night on TV Newt Gingrich told Megyn Kelly that she's "fascinated with sex".
- Upon hearing this, Bill Clinton and Donald Trump replied "Who isn't???"
*****
A survey by the Brookings Institute found that only 40% of Americans expect the votes to be counted accurately.
- The official term for it is "Al Gore Syndrome".
*****
Uber has a new feature that allows passengers to request a flu shot.
- So after a night at the bar doing shots, you can get a flu shot from the guy you hire because you're too drunk to drive home.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
The Presidential Election is exactly two weeks from today.
- So... "Our Long, National Nightmare... Hasn't Even Started Yet".
*****
As proof... Turns out one of Hillary Clinton's closest advisors, Terry McCauliffe, made a $675,000 donation to the election campaign of the WIFE of the FBI official who LED the probe into Hillary's email scandal.
- Apparently "FBI" stands for "Federal Bureau of I Can Make Sure Hillary Doesn't Get Indicted!".
*****
Meanwhile another woman is claiming that year's ago, Donald Trump grabbed her by the arm without her permission.
- If that's sexual harassment... the "Guess Your Weight" guy at Cedar Point is in big trouble.
*****
A Federal Judge in Michigan has lifted the ban of taking selfies with your ballot on Election Day.
- So now you can post that pic on Facebook and get Unfriended by all the people who disagree with who you voted for.
*****
A Yahoo survey found that 40% of NFL Fans have stopped watching the games because of Colin Kaepernick's National Anthem protests.
- NFL officials say they won't stand for this kind of thing.
*****
The White House has admitted that under Obamacare, health care premiums for tens of millions of Americans will double or even triple next year.
- So if you're going to have a heart attack after hearing the news, it'd be cheaper to have it now.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
The World Series starts tomorrow, with two teams who haven't won in a long while. The last World Series win for the Cubs was 108 years ago, the last win for the Indians was 70 years ago.
- Bottom line: The Lions still aren't going to make it to the Super Bowl.
*****
A 2008 video has surfaced in which President Obama warned his supporters that the Presidential election "could be Rigged by corrupt politicians in Washington".
- So apparently Melania isn't the only Trump who plagiarizes speeches from the Obama's.
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More leaked emails show that reporters for the NY Times and CNBC actively worked to promote Hillary, with one even emailing the campaign saying he'd submit his articles to the campaign "for their approval" before publication.
- Apparently the First Amendment guarantees "A Press That's Free To Be Completely Biased".
*****
The Donald told supporters that he will "Drain the Swamp" in Washington D.C., and create a new Government of the people, by the people and for the people.
- Between ditch draining and wall building... Trump can always go back into the Construction Business if this Presidential thing doesn't work out.
*****
Sweden's Nobel Prize Academy says they have yet to hear from Bob Dylan since he won the Prize for Literature.
- The head of the Academy even left Bob a voice mail saying, "Hey Mr. Tamborine Man... return a call from me. I'm not sleepy and there ain't no place I'm goin' to".
*****
Kim Kardashian Halloween costumes are a big seller this year.
- Actually they're Pirate costumes, but with room for more booty.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
During last night's debate, Hillary called Donald "the most dangerous person to run for President in modern history" and he called her "a nasty woman".
It was like Thanksgiving dinner with your crazy aunt and uncle...things start out okay, but after a few drinks... they start hurling mashed potatoes at each other.
*****
Reports say the Clinton campaign was responsible for Hillary and Donald NOT shaking hands both before and after the debate.
- To be fair, it IS the cold and flu season.
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When asked if he would accept the results of the Election, Donald Trump shocked the audience by saying, "I will look at it at the time. I'll keep you in suspense".
- To be fair, because of the dislike of the two Candidates, I think a lot of Americans aren't sure they're going to accept the results of the Election either.
- Al Gore said he was shocked by Trump's reaction... He made the comment in Florida where he was still examining dimpled chads from the 2000 Election.
*****
Hillary said that Vladimir Putin is trying to help Trump win so he'll have a "Puppet" in the White House. Donald retorted that Hillary's the Puppet.
- As if the Crazy Clown Scare wasn't bad enough, now we have to be afraid of these two Crazy Puppets.
- Hillary implied that Putin would give Trump the shirt off his back... of course Putin would actually have to PUT ON a shirt for that to happen.
*****
The latest Halloween trend among Hillary supporters is to carve their pumpkins into "Trumpkins".
- Meanwhile Trump supporters are dressing their kids up as Hillary and sending them out to go "Trick or Deleting".
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A video has surfaced of Hilary Clinton's campaign bus dumping toilet waste into a Georgia storm drain.
- Apparently Trump isn't the only one who supports "Trickle Down" policies.
*****
First Samsung had to recall their Galaxy 7 smartphones for catching on fire, now consumers are claiming that their Samsung washing machines are "exploding".
- Company officials are doing what they can to stem the Tide of complaints.
*****
Lindsay Lohan announced that she's going to supply fresh drinks to refugee children in Syria.
- Well if anyone knows about "fresh drinks" it's Lindsay Lohan.
- Doesn't she know they're already getting bombed?
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick
Tonight's the night... The third and final Presidential Debate airs live at 9pm. Both campaigns say their candidates are spending the day "doing what they do to try and relax".
- In other words, Hillary's spending the day deleting emails, while Donald is at the mall looking for women to grope.
*****
Pundits expect Trump and Hillary to incorporate the "Las Vegas Theme" into the debate.
- So look for Trump to call Bill Clinton a Slut Machine and Hillary to say The Donald brings nothing but Crap to the Table.
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Reports say that the candidates spouses will break tradition tonight by NOT shaking hands with each other before their better-halves take to the podiums.
- Bottom line: They're trying to keep Bill away from Melania.
*****
According to WikiLeaks, Bill Gates was on Hillary's short list for VP.
- She wanted a person "a heartbeat away from the Presidency who knows how to wipe-clean a hard drive".
*****
Khloe Kardashian's new demin line is in stores today.
- And in an effort to make you feel like her sister Kim, the jeans are priced high, so if you buy a pair you'll feel like you were robbed.
*****
NFL owners are baffled by a huge drop in ratings for pro-football games on TV this season.
- In an effort to get more viewers, they're renaming Sunday's broadcast of the Lions vs. the Redskins, "Game of Throws".
*****
According to a new study, brushing your teeth thoroughly to remove plaque could help prevent heart attacks and strokes as much as statin drugs do.
- And the BEST way to avoid a heart attack is to brush your teeth and NOT watch tonight's debate.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
The latest batch of WikiLeaks documents show that Hillary Clinton's campaign van has a bed in the back of it...sparking more questions about her health.
- Bill's has a bed in the back as well, but it's also got a bumper sticker reading "If This Campaign Van's a Rockin', Don't Come a Knockin'!".
*****
Melania Trump said in an interview that she was offended by the words her husband Donald used, but that they are "moving on".
- They may be "moving on"... but according to the polls lately, it doesn't look like they'll be "moving" into the White House.
*****
In response to the Clown hysteria sweeping the country, Target is no longer selling Clown masks.
- So if you were planning on going as Clinton or Trump for Halloween, you're gonna have to buy your costume at Walmart.
- Why not just rent Bozo to go trick or treating for you... He's available for gigs.
*****
A new survey found that 50% of men in the United States shave their legs.
- Well yeah... I know I always want to look my best when I go in for a pedicure.
*****
Meanwhile Gettysburg College held a class for male Freshmen telling them that "masculinity is toxic" and the worst three words a boy can hear growing up are "Be a man".
- Sure... just like Abe Lincoln told the Union troops right before the Battle of Gettysburg.
- The class was taught by a visiting professor... a Ms. C. Jenner.
*****
Donald Trump is calling for a both Candidates to take a drug test before tomorrow night's final Presidential Debate.
- I think that all of us who made it through the first two Presidential Debates are the ones who should be tested for drugs.
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Al Gore and Climate Change activists are trying to have the criteria for Hurricanes to be changed so we will have more "Traumatic Weather Events" that can be blamed on humans.
- Al made the announcement after flying his private jet halfway around the world to attend a "Cut The Emissions" Rally.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
Wikileaks founder Julian Assange tweeted that his Internet has been intentionally cut and blames the Clinton campaign for trying to keep him from publishing more incriminating documents.
- Assange is furious... especially because he's been on hold with Comcast for the last 4 hours.
*****
And just when you thought things couldn't get any weirder... former Baywatch star Pamela Anderson brought Assange lunch over the weekend at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London where he is holed up, and rumors swirled that she had poisoned him with a Vegan sandwich.
- If you've ever eaten a Vegan sandwich, you know the feeling.
*****
Three more women came forward over the weekend to accuse Donald Trump of touching them inappropriately.
- At this point, Trump might as well change his campaign slogan to "Grope You Can Believe In".
*****
A new ABC News poll shows that 37% of Americans say they've experienced tension with their family and friends over the Presidential Election.
- And it's not even Thanksgiving yet.
*****
Fox News Anchor Shepard Smith announced that he's Gay.
- This has been rumored for years, but in a switch on Fox's slogan, Shepard finally "Decided To Report" it.
*****
Panasonic has invented an "Invisible" TV screen that completely disappears when the TV is turned off.
- They got the idea from my TV remote... which disappears every time I want to change the channel.
*****
Michael Jackson topped the Forbes list of "Highest Paid Dead Celebrities", taking in $825 Million in 2016.
- He also made the list of "Dead People Who Will Vote For Hillary Clinton On November 8th".
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
OCTOBER 14, 2016
Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #207! With the election just weeks away we dive into the Political Mud Pit for the first time. From Trump to Clinton... Crazy to Criminal... pick your poison in the most bizarre Election choice in my lifetime, if not the entire history of our Great Country.
Agree or disagree... we think you'll find the discussion interesting and worth 34 minutes and 20 seconds of your time. So hold on to your Hanging Chad... and join us for Podcast #207!
Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog.
-Dick
OCTOBER 13, 2016
Bob Dylan has won the 2016 Nobel Prize in Literature for his poetic lyrics, becoming the first musician to win the Prize since it was first awarded in 1901.
- A reporter immediately asked Dylan "How Does It Feeeeel?"
- Bob replied something...but nobody could understand what he was saying.
*****
According to new reports, the "vast majority" of FBI and DOJ employees who investigated the Hillary Clinton email scandal believed she should have been indicted and claim the decision not to charge her came straight from the White House.
- Wow... What a surprise. What's next? We're gonna find out Rock Hudson was gay???
*****
Donald Trump is threatening to sue the NY Times over an article that claims he groped four more women - charges Trump calls "complete fabrication".
- The New York Times is standing by the story, saying they will continue to publish "All The News That's Fit To Make Sure Hillary Get's Elected".
*****
An online Halloween Costume company is being crizitcized for selling a "Kim Kardashian Robbery Victim" Costume.
- It may be tacky, but think of all the candy you could put in the... "Baggage Compartment".
*****
Singer Rod Stewart was Knighted by Prince William during a ceremony at Buckingham Palace.
- The evening was capped off when the Queen jumped off her throne and danced around singing, "If you want my body...and you think I'm sexy... C'mon sugar, let me know!"
*****
Scientist are working on a new "Taste Buddy" fork that uses electrical impulses to alter taste buds so foods like vegetables would taste like chocolate.
- Think how excited the kids will be on Easter morning to wake up to a basket filled with Broccoli Bunnies and Lima Beans!
*****
NOTE: Amid the "Creepy Clown" scare, Detroit is trying to put a Happy Face back on Clowns by bringing back our own Bozo! 86 year old Art Cervi will come out of retirement to don his red hair and big shoes at the Hockeytown Cafe at 12:30 today as part of RetroRama Classic Collectibles Con. Art is a longtime friend of mine and proves that all Clowns aren't Bozos... even though he is!
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick
President Obama announced that the U.S. will send Americans to Mars by 2030.
- Right now, I'm a little more concerned about who we're going to send to the White House next month.
*****
New Wikileaks documents show that media sources provided Hillary Clinton with the questions ahead of the Presidential Primary debates, which is basically cheating.
- In the old days, when the word "Clinton" and "Cheating" were used in the same sentence, the word "Bill" always came to mind.
*****
This just in... The President of CNN has reportedly ordered a blackout of any coverage of Danney Williams, the Arkansas man who claims to be Bill Clinton's biological son.
- Williams says he doesn't care about CNN... He just cares about DNA.
*****
49 year old Pamela Anderson posed in lingerie for a series of Selfies in a Spanish magazine... then went on to say that racy images and pornography are ruining marriages.
- Pam really "walks the walk"... albeit in slow motion.
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Scot Baio says people need to "grow up" if they're offended by Donald Trump's comments.
- Look for his new TV show "I Groped Joanie And She Still Loves Cha-Chi".
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McDonald's announced that they're cutting down on appearances by Ronald McDonald because of the "Creepy Clown" scare.
- In a related story, "The Hamburgler" is being questioned by French police in the Kim Kardashian robbery. Coincidence? ... Maybe.
*****
A Hulu survey found that 62% of men lie about having watched the latest popular TV shows.
- Turns out instead of watching "Game of Thrones"... they're actually on the throne checking the sports scores on their smartphone.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
A 90 second re-mix of Sunday night's Presidential debate that has Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton singing the duet "I've Had The Time Of My Life" from the movie Dirty Dancing has already gotten over 1 million hits. I decided to post it here for your listening enjoyment...
*****
Just released Wikileaks documents include an email from Hillary's campaign manager John Podesta saying "I know she has begun to hate everyday Americans" - but he said she needed to say she would be their "champion".
- But she's become really fond of the millions of voters in the "basket of deplorables" who according to the polls have switched their support to her.
*****
In one of the documents released by Wikileaks, Bill Clinton's best friend who works for the Clinton Foundation called Chelsea Clinton a "Spoiled Brat".
- The guy must be taking parenting lessons from Alec Baldwin.
*****
Former Republican California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he will not support Donald Trump because of his sexist comments about women.
- Arnold called Donald and started the conversation with "Hello Kettle? It's me, The Pot".
- Wow. I thought those two were Maid for each other.
*****
Samsung has officially ended production of their "Galaxy 7" smartphone after more consumers complained that the phones caught on fire.
- This is not what Samsung meant when they introduced the phone and said "It would catch on fire!"
- That's why I love my Flip Phone. It never catches on fire... in fact, I can barely get it to turn on.
*****
A new study claims that Yoga might not be rigorous enough to satisfy the recommended guidelines for daily physical activity.
- Just when I finally mastered the "Leaning Tower of Pisa During A Hurricane" pose.
*****
Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg told Katie Couric that the "kneeling during the National Anthem" trend is "Dumb and Disrespectful".
- And at 83 years old, she announced she'll be holding a "Justices' Lives Matter" rally this weekend.
*****
Social Media lit up when a rumor surfaced that Nickelodeon had cancelled production of "SpongeBob Squarepants" after 17 years. But Nick execs say it's not true.
- Tens of thousands of 30 year olds living in their parents basements are breathing a collective sigh of relief.
*****
NOTE: Today is the LAST DAY in Michigan to register to Vote in the November 8th Presidential Election!
- Don't miss your chance to cast your ballot for the Candidate you despise the least!
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
OCTOBER 10, 2016
Both Trump and Hillary Clinton took the gloves off during last night's Presidential debate, hurling insults at each other.
- She called him a "Liar" and "Unfit to be President". And he said she should be "In jail" and is "Unfit to be in a 'Girls Gone Wild' Video".
*****
Right off the top, The Donald apologized for what he called "Locker Room Talk" in the famous video that rocked his campaign over the weekend.
- The conversation on that tape was like the Locker Room Talk at Spartan Stadium lately...but Trump used a lot fewer expletives.
*****
The biggest star of the night turned out to be one of the undecided voters named Kenneth Bone who, donning a bright red sweater, asked a question about Energy policy.
- He was just what the doctor ordered for disgruntled voters can't stand either Trump or Clinton and who've been saying "C'mon... throw me a Bone, wouldya?"
*****
An FBI study shows that gun sales are up by 27% compared to this time last year.
- FBI Director James Comey says the gun sales are clearly wrong... but he has no plans to indict anyone who bought one.
*****
A new biography of Paul Simon labels the singer as a thief and a bully.
- That may be, but he's still got better hair than Art Garfunkel.
- The book is called "Me & Julio Stealing a Kid's Lunch Money Down By The School Yard".
*****
Pope Francis named 17 new Cardinals during a ceremony at the Vatican.
- He would have named 18, but they'd already reached their Salary Cap.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick