Get this... The NY Times published an article about a 7 year old girl who had a nightmare where a "Zombie Donald Trump" came to her home. 

- Tomorrow they'll probably post an article saying that a beautiful blond "Princess in a Pantsuit" flew in and deleted the Evil Trump. 

*****

According to the latest batch of WikiLeaks documents, the President knew all along that Hillary had been using a private email server despite what he told the public. 

- What's next? We're gonna find out the Affordable Health Care Act isn't Affordable???

*****

Donald Trump sent out a Facebook message saying that for $69 you can have your name put on the "Trump Donor" wall in the Trump Tower.

- And if you're a woman, for just ten bucks more, he'll come to your house and grope you. 

*****

Last night on TV Newt Gingrich told Megyn Kelly that she's "fascinated with sex".

- Upon hearing this, Bill Clinton and Donald Trump replied "Who isn't???"

*****

A survey by the Brookings Institute found that only 40% of Americans expect the votes to be counted accurately. 

- The official term for it is "Al Gore Syndrome". 

*****

Uber has a new feature that allows passengers to request a flu shot. 

- So after a night at the bar doing shots, you can get a flu shot from the guy you hire because you're too drunk to drive home. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick