Duck! Duck! Goose! (Uh...Buckeyes...)

THE Ohio State Buckeyes and the Oregon Ducks will square off tonight in the College Football National Championship Game. Most experts are predicting Oregon will win. 

I'm still torn... I want the Big Ten to win the game...but not Ohio State. 

*****

The Oval Office is taking heat for not even sending a high level representative to the massive "Charlie Hebdo" unity march in Paris over the weekend, while 40 plus World Leaders themselves actually attended.

- Obama would have gone, but there's no golf course near the Eiffel Tower. 

- And Joe Biden was already booked to appear as the Clown at a kid's birthday party.  

*****

The Paris rally was a gigantic success, with over a million people, but there was one tense moment when German Chancellor Angela Merkel arrived. 

- Apparently the French still get a little nervous when the Germans cross the border. 

*****

Pope Francis held a baptism ceremony yesterday and made the announcement that from now on, mothers can breast feed their babies in the Sistine Chapel. 

- Within minutes of hearing the news, Bill Clinton announced that he's converting to Catholicism. 

*****

The website Breatheheavy.com has retracted a story claiming that Justin Bieber's Calvin Klein underwear model pictures were photoshopped to make his muscles look bigger...along with other "key areas". 

- He does look more "buff" than most of the pictures I've seen of him...but you can't tell that much from mug shots. 

- As for allegedly enhancing other "key areas"... Justin reportedly told his critics to "stuff a sock in it". Just like he did. 

*****

Another study shows that using indoor tanning beds puts people at a high risk of developing cancer. 

- It also dramatically increases your chances of becoming Speaker of the House of Representatives. 

*****

For the first time ever, the Tiffany Jewelry Company is featuring a male gay couple in it's jewelry campaign. 

- The two front-runners for theme lines are "He went to Tiffany's for Jared!" and "Every Kiss Begins With Ray". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back hear Tuesday! 

-Dick 

 

 

 

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Purtan Podcast #147: "A Podcast So Interesting Even I Liked Listening To It!"

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #147...featuring our special guest, former "Purtan's Person", Tom Delisle. We recorded it between Christmas and New Year's and cover topics including: 

- Doug & Bob McKenzie's connection with Gene Taylor.

- Survey results for the "Worst TV Actor of All Time".

- The friend of Tom's who Murdered actor Bob Crane. 

- Denny McClain's somewhat convoluted history in baseball and "other things"... like crime.  

- What Hugh Hefner HAS to HAVE 24/7. 

- The "Four Hour Medical Problem" that Tom lives in constant fear of getting.  

- Bill Bonds & Bob Hope.

- The Biggest Hollywood Star of the first half of the 20th Century??? 

- Three of the Worst Pop Songs of all time. 

- Tom's mishap on the Toronto-to-Detroit Train and why he should have paid someone's dry cleaning bill...but didn't. 

- A "Purtan's No-Stars" hockey story about my former radio engineer Louie Shook. 

- And what Louie wore the day the Detroit News showed up to take his picture for the cover of the Sunday Magazine. 

So forget about the cold weather... and warm up to Podcast #147!  (51:24)

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog! 

-Dick 


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The Only Thing Hot Around Here Is The Pistons...

More than 400 schools closed because of the Cold... but the Pistons are on Fire with a 7-Game Winning Streak! 

***** 

The city of Boston opened a time capsule that was placed in their State House by Paul Revere and Samuel Adams. 

- It contained coins, newspapers and Barbara Walters' list of "The Ten Most Fascinating People of 1776". 

*****

George H.W. Bush wished his wife Barbara a Happy 70th Wedding Anniversary on Twitter. 

- At 90 years old, he figured the only thing he could do to get her "all a twitter" was to actually USE Twitter. 

*****

Kim Kardashian tweeted that her New Year's Resolution is to make all negative comments on social media go away. 

- Then she posted a picture of her butt. 

- And to think my New Years Resolution was to make all references to Kim Kardashian on ANY media go away. 

*****

Muhammad Ali has been released fro the hospital following a urinary tract infection. 

- His rep said the pain meds made him "float like a butterfly" but going to the bathroom "stung like a bee". 

*****

McDonald's has run out of French Fries in Venezuela. 

- Let this be a lesson to everyone: Hold onto your McNuggets. You never know when something you love can be taken away. 

*****

In an effort to keep them on the job when nature calls, Traffic cops in the Philippines will wear adult diapers during the Pope's visit.

- Just like the Pope...But he wears a special brand called "Papal Pampers".  

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

 

Don't Get Too Pumped Up About Prices At The Pump!

President Obama will be in town today after warning yesterday that Gas Prices aren't going to stay low for long. 

- In other words, "If you like the price you're currently paying at the pump, you CAN'T keep the price you're currently paying at the pump". 

*****

Twitter went down for 90 minutes yesterday. 

- And a panicked nation had to wait a nail-biting hour and a half for for Miley Cyrus to post her latest topless selfie. 

*****

CNBC says they will no longer use the Neilsen Rating System to measure it's daily audience. 

- Instead they'll just call each of their 8 viewers every day and ask if they're watching. 

*****

Nicholas Sparks, the author of "The Notebook" and his wife of 25 years are getting divorced. 

- Apparently she found his "Little Black Notebook". 

*****

The 114th Congress was officially sworn in yesterday, with a record setting 104 female members. 

- There haven't been that many skirts in Washington since J. Edgar Hoover was in charge of the FBI. 

*****

The chief executioner for ISIS was found beheaded in Syria. He was allegedly caught with a cigarette in his mouth which ISIS considers an offense, punishable by death. 

- More evidence that smoking cigarettes can kill you. 

*****

South Korea's defense minister says that North Korea has the ability to miniaturize a nuclear bomb. 

- This must be the same technology they used to miniaturize Kim Jong Un. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

Baby It's COLD Outside!

Snow that stuck...and single digit temps with wind chills below zero made for a dicey and cold commute this morning. Several businesses have been affected and in the interest of public service here is a partial list: 

- The "Sip & Strip Gentlemen's Club" is open...but there will be no pole dancing until the margarita salt can be used to de-ice the runways. 

- The "Citizens Against Global Warming" breakfast in Ann Arbor has been postponed... until sometime this Spring. 

- Flights at Metro Airport may be slightly delayed...but luggage will be lost as scheduled. 

*****

Authorities say that the man accused of arranging sex for Prince Andrew had 21 phone numbers in his black book belonging to Bill Clinton. 

- To put that in perspective, Bill had the same number of private phone numbers that Hillary had pantsuits. 

- Apparently Bill signed up for the "Family, Friends & Philandering" package. 

*****

A new study found that people who stay up to the wee hours of the night have higher IQ's then people who go to bed early. 

- So I'm not an Insomniac...I'm a GENIUS!

*****

A survey by Vetstreet.com found that the Chihuahua is the dumbest dog breed. 

- How dumb can they be? One of 'em scored millions doing that Taco Bell TV Commercial gig.  

- Meanwhile the survey found that the "Tenderest" dogs are on Kim Jong Un's dinner plate in North Korea. 

*****

An Iowa woman was arrested after using a website called "poopsenders.com" to mail a package of cow poop to her neighbors house.

- Remember the good old days when people would actually deliver the package themselves and then set it on fire? 

*****

Sylvester Stallone confirmed that he's returning for another "Rambo" movie. He's also doing another "Rocky" film set to be released in 2016. 

- In this one he yells, "Adrian! Adrian! Get Offa My Lawn!" 

- And instead of climbing into a boxing ring, he'll step into one of those nifty walk-in bathtubs. 

*****

Jennifer Aniston told CBS Sunday Morning that she's not bitter about her break up with Brad Pitt. He left her for Angelina Jolie 10 years ago. 

- Okay if you're still talking about how "not bitter" you are 10 years later...something tells me you might be just a "little bit bitter". 

- Aniston showed up for the interview with a six-person entourage. Hey, somebody had to carry all that emotional baggage. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

 

Lions Freeze... Metro Detroit Frozen.

Due to a pass interference call against Dallas that the refs wrongly reversed, and some late-game mistakes by the Lions, they ended up losing a play-off game they should have won. Final score: 24 -20. As we say every year...Oh well, there's always NEXT year. 

Meanwhile a major dip in the jet stream has our whole area in a deep freeze. Wind chills this morning were in the minus teens.

- As a matter of fact I'm wearing my thermal sandals today. 

- You know it's cold when Bob Bashara wears his fur-lined leather chaps in the Prison Yard.

*****

A new online dating site called "FarmersOnly.com" promises to match up lonely male farmers with "country like" women in their area. 

- Finally! A dating site for all those women looking for a man who can muck a stall and still look great in bib overalls.

- Apparently there are a lot of farmers out there who are tired of spending sleepless nights alone counting sheep. Literally. 

- Hopefully this site will be more successful that eCompostHeap.com. 

*****

Buckingham Palace has denied a story that Prince Andrew, Prince Charles' younger brother, had an ongoing affair with a 17-year-old underage girl. 

- At least Prince Charles had HIS on-going affair with an over age woman. (You remember Camilla don't ya?) 

*****

The creators of Love Magazine say that Kim Kardashian will be unrecognizable on the cover of this month's magazine. 

- That's because they're going to show her face instead of her butt. 

*****

A survey found that gym memberships are expected to spike by 65% in the first month of the new year, as usual. 

- And as usual, during that same time, the number of drinks Bill Cosby spikes will go up 75%. 

*****

Have a great day, stay warm and I'll see you back here tomorrow! 

-Dick 

 

"Happy New Year"...Almost!

Have a great night, drive safely, and I'll see you next year...or tomorrow...whichever comes sooner!

-Dick 

P.S. I'll be home watching the "Countdowns" on TV tonight...that is, anybody but Anderson Cooper and that bizarre alleged-comedian Kathy Griffin on CNN!

History Repeats Itself...Kinda.

New Michigan Head Football Coach Jim Harbaugh will be formally introduced today at the sold out Michigan-Illinois Basketball game in Ann Arbor, having signed his new $48 million multi-year contract yesterday. 

It reminds me of the signing of MY multi-year contract with CKLW in 1978. My signing situation then was quite similar to Harbaugh's signing situation now, except for the measly extra $47 million part. 

And I signed mine in invisible ink (honest!) to mess with my new bosses. Let's hope Harbaugh didn't do the same thing. 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow...New Year's Eve!

-Dick 

"It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like... Jim Harbaugh!"

According to inside sources, Jim Harbaugh will be announced as the Michigan Wolverine's Head Football Coach tomorrow. He parted ways with the '49er's yesterday following their 20 to 17 win over Arizona. So it looks like the Wolverines will be getting a belated Christmas present...albeit an expensive one. The former Michigan Quarterback's salary is estimated to be $48 million over 6 years, making him College Football's highest paid coach, but he's got a big job to do: Restoring the Glory of Michigan Football.  

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Ferris Bueller A Classic...And Howe!

The 1986 teen comedy "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" has been selected by the National Film Registry of the Library of Congress as "culturally, historically or aesthetically" significant, meaning it will be "preserved for future generations". The movie was written and directed by the late John Hughes. Hughes, among other movies,  wrote and directed "National Lampoon's Vacation", "Home Alone", and my personal favorite, "Planes, Trains & Automobiles". Hughes was born in Lansing and spent the first 12 years of his life in Grosse Pointe, thus explaining why one of the three characters wore a Gordie Howe jersey throughout the film. 

- Thoughts on this? Anyone..... Anyone.... Bueller?

*****

North Korea's Kim Jong Un is threatening to strike the U.S. mainland over the Holidays because we accused them of hacking into the computers at Sony Pictures. 

- Pretty big talk from a guy who looks like he should be an elf making toys in Santa's workshop. 

*****

Meanwhile, the North Korean government is still trying to figure out what caused a "massive" 10-hour Internet outage in their country yesterday.

- The U.S. denies any involvement...(Wink Wink).

*****

A New York Rabbi says that "A Christmas Story" is the most appropriate film for Jewish people to watch during the holidays. 

- As for music, he recommends "I'll Be Home For Hannukah", "Frosty The Highly Successful Doctor/Lawyer" and "Bubby Got Runover By A Reindeer". 

*****

The Federal government has granted American Indian Tribes the right to grow marijuana on their land. 

- Most of Congress was in favor of the move, but some had Reservations. (da dum dum!)

*****

The New Jersey strip club that was used in the Sopranos was robbed of $30,000 on Sunday. 

- The thieves had to use two getaway cars to fit in all those singles. 

*****

TLC is debuting a new show in January called "My Husband Is Not Gay" in which 3 wives try to make their husbands straight again. 

- AGAIN???

*****

A Detroit man dressed as Santa Claus shot two men who tried to hit on Mrs. Claus. 

- Pay attention kids! Santa takes this whole "naughty" thing a little more seriously than you might have thought. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow...Christmas Eve!

-Dick 

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Lions Win 10, Are On Cloud 9.

Lions fans got an early Christmas present with the team landing a spot in the Play-Offs after the Eagles lost to the Redskins Sunday. It's only the 2nd time the Lions have made it to the Post-Season in 14 years. They finished the regular season with a 10-4 record and face Chicago on Sunday. GO LIONS!!!!!

*****

A new study found that the medical advice given by Doctor Oz is only accurate 30% of the time. 

- But you gotta admit that whole stretching a real human intestine across the stage thing never gets old. 

*****

A British mom moved to Syria to marry an ISIS terrorist. 

- Instead of getting a paying job, she's opted to be a Jihad-At-Home mom. 

- She says her terrorist husband is a romantic at heart, but does have a short fuse. 

*****

Madonna released 6 new songs on Saturday calling it an early Christmas present for fans. 

- And unlike most "gifts" she gives people, this time no antibiotics are needed. 

*****

Elton John married his longtime partner David Furnish at their home in England Saturday. 

- It's about time Elton made an honest man out of him! 

*****

Al Sharpton's daughter Dominique says she's standing by Bill Cosby despite all the allegations. 

- Bill Cosby was so pleased he invited her over for a drink. 

*****

According to AAA, gas prices are the lowest they've been in five years...with the average price in Michigan at just $2.19 a gallon. That's a dollar lower than the same time last year. 

- So going over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house isn't gonna cost you nearly as much this year. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #146: "Christmas Stock-ings & Bonds"

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #146...our Pre-Christmas Podcasting present to you. Today Jackie and I welcome former "Purtan's Person" Tom Delisle to the dining room table. Subjects include: 

-Bill Bonds... Star TV News Anchorman. 

- The early competition between the Detroit newspaper journalists and the TV Guys...and how Bill played a pivotal role in that. 

- The "problems" that arose between Billy and his teleprompter guy. 

- Bill's "moveable" toupee.

- Mort Crim - the inspiration for the movie "Anchorman". 

- Some fascinating stories about legendary actor Cary Grant. 

- Speaking of "famous actors", we touch on Harry Reems and Johnny "Wad" Holmes. 

- And what Jackie's son Charlie had to say about the Bob Bashara verdict. 

So stop stuffing those stockings for a few minutes and unwrap Podcast #146! 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog!

-Dick

Kim Jong Un-Believable!

American officials have concluded that North Korea was "centrally involved" in the hacking of Sony Pictures computers. The studio has pulled the offending movie "The Interview" (about a fictional plot to kill Kim Jong Un) from theatrical release. 

- To appease Kim Jong Un...they're re-releasing his favorite movie..."Dumb & Dumber". 

*****

A new photo of Bill Clinton with a very wealthy supporter of his and her, um, rather buxom daughter has gone viral, leading some to say that Bill is up to his old tricks. 

- And by "old tricks" they mean something he hasn't done since last week. 

*****

Elton John and his partner David Furnish, who had a civil union in 2005, will be officially married in England this weekend.

- Elton will wear something old, something new, something borrowed and a giant duck suit. 

*****

The US is restoring full diplomatic relations with Cuba after a secret year long conference in Canada that was negotiated by Pope Francis. 

- Just before the agreement was signed, Obama asked the Pope, "How are the negotiations goin'?". The Pope replied, "They're goin' good, eh? Thanks for ahskin!"

- To celebrate, everyone involved smoked a Cuban Cigar and took in a Hockey game. 

*****

64 year old Stevie Wonder and his girlfriend welcomed a new baby daughter, Nia, this week. It's Stevie's ninth child. 

- He's had eight other kids but says he didn't see this one coming. 

*****

President Obama told People Magazine that before he became President, he was often mistaken for a waiter at black-tie events. 

- And Joe Biden said that since BECOMING Vice President, he's often mistaken as the Valet Parking Guy. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow with a special Podcast tribute to Bill Bonds. 

-Dick 

Pope You Have The Best Birthday Ever!

Pope Francis turns 78 today. 

- If smoke comes out of the Vatican Chimney, you'll know he just blew out the candles on his cake. 

- It'll be Angel Food Cake by the way. 

- He went out to a restaurant Tuesday night for his Last Supper as a 77 year old. 

*****

Merriam-Webster dictionaries said "Culture" was the most used word of the year in 2014. 

- And for Miley Cyrus, that word was most used in the sentence "Your culture came back positive". 

*****

South Korea announced that they will let citizens clone their dogs for $100,000. 

- So now in Korea, you can have your dog, and eat him too! 

*****

According to a new survey, the most likely occupation for an "unfaithful" wife to have is "Teacher". 

- Apparently they don't want anyone cheating on tests, but they have no problem cheating on their husbands. 

- The guys they cheat with are known as "The Teacher's Heavy Pet". 

*****

Kathy Lee Gifford came forward to say that Bill Cosby once tried to kiss her. 

- And Rosie O'Donnell came forward to say that Bill Cosby once tried to shake her hand. 

*****

Jeb Bush announced that he is "actively exploring the possibility of running for President in 2016"...on Facebook. 

- He also posted a picture of his cat wearing a Santa hat and revealed that he's reached level 179 in Candy Crush Saga! 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

 

 

 

Thank You...

First of all, thank you for your incredible outpouring of support for yesterday's piece on Bill Bonds. Your "likes", comments and emails truly spoke to the amazing and lasting impact Bill had on the people of this town. Even in death, he's larger than life. I know he would have liked that.  

*****

And now on with the news...

A 200 pound wooden statue of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer has been stolen from a Los Angeles neighborhood where it's been on display for 50 years. 

- Cupid and Vixen also disappeared...but it turns out they just got picked up by Charlie Sheen. 

- Santa's gonna have a heckuva time getting around LA without Rudolph's nose to cut through all the smog. 

*****

A Vatican spokesperson says the Pope was misquoted when he said that all dogs go to Heaven. 

- He meant to say all dogs EXCEPT the one who recorded the Barking Version of "Jingle Bells". 

*****

A Gynecologist in Maine was suspended for issuing marijuana prescriptions to men. 

- The men said they needed the pot to help calm them down when their wives had PMS. 

*****

A bunch of "Magic Mushrooms" were found growing in the Queen's garden at Buckingham Palace. 

- So I guess we can add "Green Thumb" to Prince Harry's list of talents. 

*****

Barbara Walters named George Clooney's wife as the "Most Fascinating Person of 2014". 

- George Clooney's wife??? I think it's time Barbara took her "retirement" a little more seriously. 

*****

The film classic Gone With the Wind premiered 75 years ago yesterday.

Years ago I purchased Clark Gable's personal copy of the GWTW script at a Hollywood auction, which I still own. One of these days I'll probably sell it...but I'll think about that tomorrow. After all... tomorrow IS another day!

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

 

Bill Bonds

Bill was bigger than life...but infinitely human. He was a rock star...but the glint in his eye always let you know that he KNEW it was a role he was playing. He was smart, funny, combative, kind, bombastic, pompous, self-deprecating and immensely talented...all at the same time. 

He was a hometown boy who loved Detroit...and it showed.

He always added a "Y" to guys names... He was "Billy", I was "Dicky". 

I loved him as a person, but also, of course, because he provided my radio show with a LOT of material through the years. Especially his challenging of Coleman Young to a fist fight...and his toupee which occasionally was "askew". 

He always wore his overcoat over his shoulder like a cape, so when he walked into a room or an event, he stood out...which is exactly what Billy wanted to do. 

He wanted to be the center of attention, both on the air and off, and he was. 

What seemed to many at the time to be braggadocios behavior (and it was to those who didn't know him), the truth is, it was simply part of his Charm. 

The camera loved Bill and Bill loved the camera. It wasn't just that he was a terrific newsman, he was an actor too. He had a bit (or maybe a lot) of Ted Baxter in him. That's why he was so unique and the combination of dedicated newsman/actor made him so watchable for so long. 

While it's true that the movie "Anchorman" was based on Mort Crim during his time in Philadelphia...it always seemed to me it should have been based on Bill. He had it all... He was totally unique, one of a kind, never to be repeated.  

Rest in Peace Billy. Our thoughts and prayers are with Karen and the family. 

I highly doubt you're in the same place as Coleman...but it's nice to think of the two of you going at it again. 

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #145: "Try It...Yule Like It!"

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #145... Today Jackie and I stuff our "Podcast Stocking" with all kinds of goodies including: 

- Doug and Bob McKenzie from SCTV.

- The 28th annual Salvation Army Radiothon coming up on Friday, Feb 27... which will, for the first time, be broadcast live from the Emagine theater in Royal Oak from 6am to 10pm on 760 WJR. 

- Last year's Radiothon donor gift that featured a Hitler-esque looking me in a Snowglobe. 

- More of our favorite Christmas movies

- Why we don't see "It's a Wonderful Life" broadcast on TV as much as we used to. 

- The movie star named by the American Film Institute as the Greatest Actor of all time. (And some of the runners up)

- How the actresses from the 30's and 40's were so overly dramatic on screen.

- The cancelled horse carriage rides in NYC. 

- A newly discovered pic of me with the Beatles that turned up on the Internet.  

- And finally the Moose in my house. 

So take a break from gift wrapping...and unwrap Podcast #145. (You can always return it!)  (26:55)

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog!

-Dick