President Obama will be in town today after warning yesterday that Gas Prices aren't going to stay low for long.
- In other words, "If you like the price you're currently paying at the pump, you CAN'T keep the price you're currently paying at the pump".
*****
Twitter went down for 90 minutes yesterday.
- And a panicked nation had to wait a nail-biting hour and a half for for Miley Cyrus to post her latest topless selfie.
*****
CNBC says they will no longer use the Neilsen Rating System to measure it's daily audience.
- Instead they'll just call each of their 8 viewers every day and ask if they're watching.
*****
Nicholas Sparks, the author of "The Notebook" and his wife of 25 years are getting divorced.
- Apparently she found his "Little Black Notebook".
*****
The 114th Congress was officially sworn in yesterday, with a record setting 104 female members.
- There haven't been that many skirts in Washington since J. Edgar Hoover was in charge of the FBI.
*****
The chief executioner for ISIS was found beheaded in Syria. He was allegedly caught with a cigarette in his mouth which ISIS considers an offense, punishable by death.
- More evidence that smoking cigarettes can kill you.
*****
South Korea's defense minister says that North Korea has the ability to miniaturize a nuclear bomb.
- This must be the same technology they used to miniaturize Kim Jong Un.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick