Bill Cosby’s lawyer says Cosby’s wife Camille hasn’t visited him in jail, but has managed to convince him to give up something he’s been trying to give up for over 50 years: Coffee.
- Too bad she didn’t convince him to give up the “special drink” he gave his “dates”.
Dozens of people from around the world are taking part in an international hair-freezing competition in Canada to see who can make the coolest hairstyle when their locks freeze solid in 5 degree weather.
- Their slogan is “Gee Your Hair Looks Horrific”.
Not “in the mood” this Valentine’s Day? A TV “sex therapist” says “Post-Trump Sex Disorder” is causing people to feel “fear, loathing, and nausea” and not want to have sex.
- And that’s just Melania.
- Apparently she didn’t like the poem Donald wrote her:
“Roses are Red, Candy is sweet…
I didn’t buy you flowers… I sent you a Tweet!”
Vegan activists in Britain will be allowed to stage 'last rites' ceremonies with cows headed to slaughter to tell them, "We love you, we are sorry".
- They even wrote the cows a Valentine poem: “Roses are Red, Violents are Blue… We apologize for killing you!”
A Canadian man whose real last name “Assman,” was deemed “unacceptable” for a personalized license plate, emblazoned the word on the back of his truck instead.
- I wonder if Kim Kardashian’s husband Kanye West has ever run into this problem.
It’s the 90th Anniversary of Al Capones’ “Valentines Day Massacre”.
- 90 years already? Wow! Time flies when you’re having fun!
- With the amount of shootings they have in Chicago isn’t EVERY DAY “Massacre Day”?
The British Government says research shows the Nation’s average bra size has gone from 32B to 36DD in just six years.
- I wonder what Government Boobs were in charge of collecting this Vitally Important bra-measuring info?
- As Winston Churchill once said, “Never was so much owed by so many to so few”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!