Half of the eight mayoral hopefuls on Detroit’s primary ballot next week have been convicted of felony crimes - Mike Duggan and Coleman Young Jr. NOT among them. 

- The tip-off came when officials noticed the felons are running under the slogan "Make Detroit Corrupt Again!" 


A 10 year old boy named Frank sent President Trump a letter offering to mow the White House lawn "Free of charge" and even offered to bring his own weed whacker. 

- Former President Clinton issued a statement that while he owned a weed whacker during his time in the WH, he "never inhaled". 


The Dreamland Wax Museum in Boston is being mocked on Social Media for it's Wax Statue of Patriots QB Tom Brady calling it "creepy" and "nightmare inducing". 

- Colin Kaepernick said that if they ever put up a statue of HIM like that, he won't stand for it. 


A study out of UCLA found that pets are having a huge impact on global warming with both their high meat consumption and their "emissions". 

- So ladies, if your husband blames "global warming" on your dog... he might be telling the truth. 


A growing number of studies have found that American companies are having trouble filling jobs because the applicants can't pass a drug test. 

- It's even true for Walmart Greeters, although to be fair, their tests just come back positive for Lipitor and Geritol. 


According to researchers at the University of Buffalo, ancient Humans had sex with a species of "non-Humans" who were similar, but genetically very different. 

- To put it in modern terms, it's kind of like sleeping with Charlie Sheen. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 


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