A 28 year old man named Danny Williams is demanding a DNA test, claiming that Bill Clinton is his Dad after having an affair with his Mom, a prostitute, in Little Rock. 

- Looks like Bill's next campaign appearance is going to be on The Maury Povich show. 


Meanwhile, during a speech in Flint yesterday, Bill Clinton took a shot at President Obama calling Obamacare a "crazy system" that "doesn't make any sense". 

- He said it wasn't as crazy as "Hillarycare" that his wife proposed back in 1993, but still "it's pretty nuts". 


Tonight is the big debate between the two VP candidates, Trump running mate Mike Pence and Clinton Veep Tim Kaine. 

- These two guys are important. After all, one of them could be one heartbeat away... and the other one seasonal allergy away from the Presidency. 


Donald Trump continues to defend using legal loopholes to avoid paying federal taxes, and vows to change the system so he will have to pay more taxes in the future. 

- I haven't been this confused since Bruce Jenner got a Boob Job. 


Despite the fact that the father of the 15 year old girl who was sexted by Anthony Weiner won't press charges, the FBI is going after "Carlos Danger". 

- Let's just cut to the chase... The FBI is gonna say he did some really bad stuff, but won't indict him. 


Some people think that Kim Kardashian's robbery-at-gunpoint was actually a publicity stunt to help sagging ratings of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians". 

- I don't care what they say. I believe Kim, no ifs, ands or Butts. 


Lindsay Lohan had to have part of her finger surgically reattached after she severed it in a boating accident. 

- This is what happens when you try to do coke off a moving propeller. 


Three Brits have split the Nobel Prize in Physics for their research into the secrets of 'exotic matter'.

- This has led to a new movement in the scientific community: "Exotic Matter Matters". 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 


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