On Thursday, President Obama will continue the long-standing Thanksgiving tradition of pardoning a Turkey.
- Let's just hope it's not Kwame Kilpatrick.
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The cost of making a Thanksgiving dinner will rise to an all time high this year, largely because of an increase in the cost of Turkeys.
- A lot of people are switching to ham this year...not because of the cost, but because they've had their fill of Turkeys watching the Presidential debates.
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The US State Department has issued a Worldwide Travel Alert for Americans due to fears of more terrorist attacks.
- On the bright side, this makes a great excuse if you're trying to get out of going to Scranton to spend Thanksgiving weekend with your in-laws.
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To better serve Americans, The Butterball Turkey Hot Line, which is open to help cooks during the holidays, now features Spanish speaking experts.
- If they really want to help, they'd hire some experts who speak Syrian.
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Charlie Sheen announced that he's writing a tell-all memoir.
- Oh sure, NOW he decides to "tell all".
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A Pregnancy First study found that drinking coffee during pregnancy does not affect a baby's IQ.
- But drinking martini's will increase your chances of getting pregnant in the first place.
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Singer Carly Simon claims that Sean Connery once asked her and her sister Lucy to have a menage a trios. Carly said no but her sister did sleep with him.
- Apparently her sister wrote "Nobody Does It Better".
- Bill Clinton's so vain, he probably thought this story was about him.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick