On Thursday, President Obama will continue the long-standing Thanksgiving tradition of pardoning a Turkey. 

- Let's just hope it's not Kwame Kilpatrick. 


The cost of making a Thanksgiving dinner will rise to an all time high this year, largely because of an increase in the cost of Turkeys.  

- A lot of people are switching to ham this year...not because of the cost, but because they've had their fill of Turkeys watching the Presidential debates. 


The US State Department has issued a Worldwide Travel Alert for Americans due to fears of more terrorist attacks. 

- On the bright side, this makes a great excuse if you're trying to get out of going to Scranton to spend Thanksgiving weekend with your in-laws. 


To better serve Americans, The Butterball Turkey Hot Line, which is open to help cooks during the holidays, now features Spanish speaking experts. 

- If they really want to help, they'd hire some experts who speak Syrian. 


Charlie Sheen announced that he's writing a tell-all memoir. 

- Oh sure, NOW he decides to "tell all". 


A Pregnancy First study found that drinking coffee during pregnancy does not affect a baby's IQ. 

- But drinking martini's will increase your chances of getting pregnant in the first place.


Singer Carly Simon claims that Sean Connery once asked her and her sister Lucy to have a menage a trios. Carly said no but her sister did sleep with him. 

- Apparently her sister wrote "Nobody Does It Better". 

- Bill Clinton's so vain, he probably thought this story was about him. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!



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