A new Bloomberg poll found that Americans are equally as excited about the Political Caucuses and the release of the new Star Wars Movie. 

- Both contain epic battles and, if Chris Christie stays in the race, an appearance by Jabba the Hutt. 

- Chewbacca and Donald Trump have a lot in common...but Chewie has better hair. 


Bernie Sanders and Prince Charles both told interviewers that the Syrian Refugee Crisis and recent Terrorist attacks are the direct result of Climate Change. 

- Apparently "Climate Change" is the hot new term for "ISIS".


A videotape has reportedly surfaced showing Charlie Sheen smoking crack and then having sex...with a man. 

- This could really hurt Charlie's reputation. 


The new "Female Viagra" drug comes with a warning that it can cause nausea, dizziness and fainting. 

- Drinks served by Bill Cosby come with the exact same warnings. 


A General Social Survey found that married couples who have sex once a week are the happiest. 

- Critics are slamming the results claiming there are no married couples who actually have sex once a week.


After moving Black Friday to Thursday, Walmart has announced that they'll start Cyber Monday on Sunday. 

- If they want to make people really happy, how about moving Spring to January. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!