A survey by Charmin toilet paper found that 62% of Americans pee in the ocean to avoid filthy beach bathrooms. 

- So if the water around the guy your swimming next to turns from blue to green, it's not algae. 

- Now we know why whales throw themselves up on the beach. 

- This gives a whole new meaning to an "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny YELLOW Polka Dot Bikini". 


A new book claims that Jackie Kennedy wanted to divorce JFK after she caught him having sex in the Oval Office. 

- Which time? 

- According to the book, "Camelot" was more like "Wham-Bam-Thank-You-M'am-A-Lot". 


California Chrome drew the coveted number two post for Saturday's Belmont Stakes. 

- Despite the good news, he's still got a long face. 


President Obama admitted the terrorist he traded for Bowe Bengdahl may attack us again someday. 

- Gee...Ya think? 

- The swap made good on his campaign slogan, "An Exchange You Can Believe In". 


Vladimir Putin made what many consider sexist comments about Hillary Clinton. Vlad said that Hillary's negative comments about him "Show weakness...which is maybe not the worst quality in a woman." He added that "It's best not to argue with women". 

- That's the kind of thinking that got his last wife the house, the Kremlin, and half of Ukraine in their divorce. 


An Indian woman claims she saw the missing Malaysian Jet while she was sailing. 

- She didn't mention whether it was flying or underwater at the time. 

- You can hear more of her story 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on CNN. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 



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