Two big local winners over the weekend… The Lions broke a 21 game losing steak and beat the Redskins for the first time since 1935!!! And the “Pride of Chelsea Michigan”, actor Jeff Daniels won an Emmy for his role on “The Newsroom”!
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Speaking of the Emmy’s, they were handed out last night in a star-studded gala in LA.
- Most of the actors were just pretending to look shocked since Edward Snowden had leaked the results to them weeks ago.
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Google experts say we’ll soon be able to download our entire minds to computers.
- They estimate it would take Stephen Hawkings about a week, and Paris Hilton less than 60 seconds.
- If you accidentally delete your mind, you have to change your name to Snooki.
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A British survey found that the average man gives up trying to keep in shape or look good at age 46, while women keep exercising and trying to look good until at least 59.
- That’s because by the time she’s 59, she’ll be looking for a new husband since the first one will have dropped dead.
Most married men said they gave up caring about how they looked just 26 months after their wedding.
- Luckily for the Kardashian girls, none of them stay married long enough to see their husband “let himself go”.
- The one exception was Michael Moore who gave up caring about his appearance in third grade.
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In Venezuela, the govenment took over a toilet paper factory to make it more efficient since the country has all but run out of TP.
- The government told the owners to “quit stalling and get down to business!”
- Who better to print more of something that’s just going to get fllushed down the toilet?
- The Venezualan President said producing TP was his #1 (and #2) priority.
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The Scooter Store has filed for bankruptcy after a year of federal scrutiny over alleged Medicare and Medicaid fraud.
- So the feds were able to nail the Scooter Store in one year, but we still haven’t made an arrest in Benghazi.
- What’s next? Those nifty walk-in bathtubs???
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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tueday!
-Dick