President Obama complained that Kim Karsashian and Kanye West were redefining the American Dream into something “unobtainable”. Kim’s mom Kris Jenner fired back, “I was taught dream big, work hard and you can have whatever you want”. 

- Apparently Obama thinks people should try to emulate you know, “ordinary people” like Beyonce and Jay Z. 


Reasearchers say the U.S. internet speed is ranked 23rd in the world. 

- But hey! At least we’re first in Obesity!!! And it’s always good to be first in something!  


San Diego mayor Bob Filner left his intense sex rehab clinic earlier than expected. 

- He claims he wanted to get out ASAP so he could get back to his job: “Serving and Groping The People”.


NASA announced that after one year the Mars Rover “Curiosity” has taken over 70,000 pictures. 

- Which is just slightly less than the number of pictures Anthony Weiner has taken of his little “Rover”. 


A British University study found that sharing or over-sharing photos on Facebook can have a negative impact of your real relationships. 

- It’s true! Anthony Weiner uses Twitter instead of Facebook - and his wife is still with him!

- Especially if your wife sees the ones you posted of yourself at the strip club. 


When Seattle writer Jane Catherine Lotter discovred she was dying, she wrote her own obituary. It was so well-written that it’s gone viral on the internet. 

- Critics weren’t impressed calling the “RIP” part “trite and overused”. 

- Ms. Lotter is the first writer in history who is literally dying to get published. 


A gay California man says he was shocked to discover that on his medical records, his doctor had listed, “homosexual behavior” as a chronic condition he exhibits. 

- The patient denied it saying, “Hey…he’s the one who asked me to turn my head and cough!”


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!