A leaked Pakistani report reveals that Osama Bin Laden was pulled over for speeding just a year after 9/11 but wasn’t charged. 

- Wow. That must have been one speedy camel!

- The cop let him go when he saw the Handicapped Sticker hanging from the Camel’s ear.  


The report also indicated that Bin Laden walked around his secret compound in a cowboy hat, believing that it would block drones from detecting him. 

- Around the compound he was known as “The Lonesome Buckaroo”. 

- It’s worked for “The Lone Ranger”. Hardly any movie-goers have zeroed in on him at all. 


The Girl Scouts revealed that the pension plan for their headquarters leadership has a $347 million deficit. 

- Looks like somebody is going to have to return their “Accounting” merit badge! 

- To  make up for the shortfall, they’re begging people to buy Samoa cookies. 


According the the latest govenment jobs report, the largest employer in America is Wal-Mart, and the second largest is the Kelly Temp Agency. 

- Kelly Temps would have come in first, but they only employ “greeters” temporarily.


A gourmet shop in New York is offering wine-soaked popcorn. 

- It goes great with the new cheese & cracker flavored Raisinets. 

- They premiered the treat at a special screening of the Liza Minelli movie “Cabernet”. 


A 92-year-old iraqi farmer married a 22 year old woman last week. 

- The wedding will be consumated as soon as he gets up enough energy to unbutton her Burka. 

- It was perfect…He was the “something old” and she was the “something new”. 


Former NYC Gov Eliot Spitzer got heckled by a crowd yesterday after announcing that he’s running for Comptroller of NYC. He said his happiest professional moments came in public service. 

- And his happiest personal moments came while being serviced by a member of the public. 


Have a great day and I’ll you back here Wednesday!