A leaked Pakistani report reveals that Osama Bin Laden was pulled over for speeding just a year after 9/11 but wasn’t charged.
- Wow. That must have been one speedy camel!
- The cop let him go when he saw the Handicapped Sticker hanging from the Camel’s ear.
The report also indicated that Bin Laden walked around his secret compound in a cowboy hat, believing that it would block drones from detecting him.
- Around the compound he was known as “The Lonesome Buckaroo”.
- It’s worked for “The Lone Ranger”. Hardly any movie-goers have zeroed in on him at all.
The Girl Scouts revealed that the pension plan for their headquarters leadership has a $347 million deficit.
- Looks like somebody is going to have to return their “Accounting” merit badge!
- To make up for the shortfall, they’re begging people to buy Samoa cookies.
According the the latest govenment jobs report, the largest employer in America is Wal-Mart, and the second largest is the Kelly Temp Agency.
- Kelly Temps would have come in first, but they only employ “greeters” temporarily.
A gourmet shop in New York is offering wine-soaked popcorn.
- It goes great with the new cheese & cracker flavored Raisinets.
- They premiered the treat at a special screening of the Liza Minelli movie “Cabernet”.
A 92-year-old iraqi farmer married a 22 year old woman last week.
- The wedding will be consumated as soon as he gets up enough energy to unbutton her Burka.
- It was perfect…He was the “something old” and she was the “something new”.
Former NYC Gov Eliot Spitzer got heckled by a crowd yesterday after announcing that he’s running for Comptroller of NYC. He said his happiest professional moments came in public service.
- And his happiest personal moments came while being serviced by a member of the public.
Have a great day and I’ll you back here Wednesday!