Pippa Middleton is reportedly so tired of being called a “non-Royal” but having to live by the Queen’s rules, she’s moving to America after her sister, Kate Middleton gives birth to the Royal Heir.

- Queen Elizabeth calls her “a pain in the butt”. Meantime the Queen’s husband Prince Phillip added “and I do mean butt!” 

- America hasn’t scored this big a victory over the British since the Revolutionary War. 


The NFL is considering banning academically-ineligible college players. 

- They’re never going to do it…but hey, at least they’re considering it. 


Eliot Spitzer, the former Governor of NY who resigned after being caught up in a high-class prostitution scandal is  running for Comptroller of NYC. And he’ll be running against the madam who hooked him up with hookers. 

- The two are friendly…in fact Spitzer already has her number on speed dial. 

- I guess he figures if Anthony Weiner can get his career up and running again, so can he. 


The Lone Ranger tanked at the box office - earning just under $50 mil in it’s first five days. The movie cost $255 million. 

- It would have done better, but everyone who went to see it got the Senior Citizen discount. 

- The producers never should have changed the Lone Ranger’s “Hi-Ho Silver!” to “Have you considered adding Silver to your Portfolio?” 


The Beatles made Rolling Stone magazine’s list of the 13 Dumbest Band Names in History. 

- Imagine how much more successful their career would have been if they’d had a better name!!!  


Pope Francis said it “pains” him to see priests and nuns driving flashy cars, and they should demonstrate their faith by driving something more humble. 

- He also requested that they take the “I Heart Benedict A Lot Better” stickers off their bumpers. 

- He suggests a BVM (Blessed Virgin Mary). Afterall, it’s the ultimate praying machine 

- Hey…at least some of the Priests carpool to their weekly Poker Game at the Vatican. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!