Tonight’s the MLB All-Star Game. Six Tigers on the American League roster…including Max Scherzer who will start on the mound! 

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Twinkies are officially back…and actually contain 15 fewer calories than before. That’s because they’re four grams smaller than the original. 

- What kind of Ding Dong came up with the plan to make them smaller? 

- I guess the governments plan to “slim down America” has to start somewhere.

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Michelle Obama is pushing the idea of “walking school busses,” where a group of students gather with an adult supervisor, then walk to school. 

- So now the kids will go to school singing, “The Knees on the Supervisor go Click, Click, Click!” 

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According to a new study, casual sex is linked to depression. 

- This explains the new Viagra/Prozac Combo Pack I saw at the drugstore. 

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Japanese Police have cracked an alleged “Home Delivery” prostitution ring that sent hookers weighing upwards of 300 pounds to their clients homes or hotels. 

- This gives new meaning to “Hot & Heavy” romance. 

- Oh sure…it’s always fun until somebody gets smothered. 

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A new study finds that 20 percent of smartphone owners use their phones during sex. 

- You’d think their partners would be upset, but people who text during sex usually don’t have a partner. 

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In Russia, the Kremlin is switching to typewriters to prevent computer spying. 

- Now they’ll be able to detect spys by watching to see who leaves work with his pants stuffed with mimeograph papers. 

- Wow…I haven’t seen a Smith-Kremlinona since the Cold War!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday…Go Tigers! 

-Dick

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