A San Francisco man has invented a bra that unsnaps when you clap your hands. 

- Men greeted the announcement with wild applause. 

- It’s called the over-the-shoulder-clapper-unsnapper. 

- Well there goes the old “Please save your applause until the end” speil during the Miss America Swimsuit competition.  

- Clap inside a nursing home and all the women will yell, “Help! They’ve fallen and I can’t get ‘em up!”


A man was arrested at a Taylor Swift concert for holding up a sign that said “Taylor Swift is with Satan”. 

- Taylor Swiftly responded that she and Satan had broken up two weeks ago and were never, ever, ever getting back together again!


One of Hollywoood’s most prominent same-sex married coules, “Glee” star Jane Lynch and Dr. Lara Embry, have filed for divorce. 

- They both cited “alienation of affection” saying the other one always said she had a headache. 


A Brazillian Man was killed after a cow that had wandered onto the metal roof of his house, fell and landed on him while he was lying in bed with his wife.

- This is why I always count sheep…they’re a lot lighter. 

- Amazingly, his wife Elsie, walked away unscathed. 

- So a glass of milk can help you fall asleep. and a cow falling on you can put you to sleep forever. 


News outlets from around the world have set up camp outside the hosiptal where Kate Middleton will deliver the Royal baby. 

- Reporters say the excitement is so palbable you can actually feel it in the heir! 

- In keeping with tradition, the doctor will smack the baby on the butt to ensure that it starts…waving.  


20th Century Fox allegedly plans to turn a whole slew of it’s hit movie into musicals for Broadway. 

- Prodcucers are already working on a new tap-dance number for “Saving Private Ryan: The Musical”. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday! And don’t forget my “Happy Birthday Podcast” is up now on the homepage!