Kwame is Komplaining - AGAIN. Despite being allowed out of jail twice a week for post-knee surgery rehab, Kaptain Korruption is now whining that the prison doesn’t have the “ice and workout equipment” he needs to do therapy inside the Hooscow. 

- What does he need ice for? He’s already got the biggest cubes in the joint. 

- To be honest, he is going to need strong knees…for all that praying of course. 

- Speaking of exercise equipment, Kwame used to make Christine Beatty refer to him as “The Thigh Master”. 


In other fun prison news…Robert Bashara, who pled guilty to hiring a hitman to kill his wife, is in trouble with the Warden. A recent search of his cell revealed a stash of “Contraband”. The illegal items? Packets of ketchup, sugar and jelly he lifted from the cafeteria. 

- Sounds like Bashera’s got some learning to do. Everybody knows you can’t make a shiv out of a packet of ketchup. 

- Stealing condiments? Sounds like he’s got prison food and prison sex mixed up. 


The Obama administration is reaching out to NFL players to help promote the “Affordable Care Act”. 

- They were going to ask Major League Baseball Players to help out, but they figured it be easier to get guys who have suffered numerous concussions to agree. 


A new poll shows that 76% of Americans are living paycheck-to-paycheck. 

- The other 24% work for the IRS. 


Colonel Sander’s original white suit has sold at auction for $21,000. 

- So now the guy who bought it can cross one more thing off his Bucket List. 

- 21 grand for a suit sounded expensive…until you remember that it came with cole slaw, mashed potatoes & gravy and a biscuit. 


Former porn star Jenna Jamison is considering a run for Congress. 

- Why not? She’s already slept with half the guys on the Hill. 

- She’s also willing to be appointed “Under Secretary” of anything. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday! And don’t forget to check out my latest Podcast (#83) up now on the homepage!