Despite reports of gunfire that send hundreds of Fireworks watchers scrambling, the Big Night over the Detroit river went off pretty much without a hitch.
- There hasn’t been that much explosive activity downtown since Monica Conyers was on the City Council.
- In case you missed it, the night can pretty much be summed up in two words: “Ooooooh!” and “Ahhhhh!”.
NSA Whistleblower Eric Snowden remains MIA as of this writing. Some believe he is still in Russia being questioned about US spying techniques against that country.
- The US government says they know they can find him…if he’d just apply for tax-exempt status!
- Apple is furiously working on a new tracking device to help catch him. Their slogan is: “Trying to Find Eric Snowden? There’s an App For That!”
McDonald’s is re-shaping their McNuggets to make them seem more natural.
- It’s just like what Lorena Bobbitt did except for the “looking more natural” part.
A 60-year-old Washington State man’s lifelong dream to fly 268 miles to Oregon in a lawn chair with helium balloons tied to it went awry when he had to be rescued after crash landing in the top of a 40 foot tree.
- It didn’t work for him…but it did give Eric Snowden a great idea!
- Rescusers had a hard time finding him until they finally heard “Help Me” coming from a Munchkin-sounding man’s voice.
British scientists have discovered that plants are able to do math.
-Except for certain flowers that are too Impatiens to do long-division.
Researchers at Caltech found that people who receive a mild electrical shock found potential dates more attractive than they did before the shock.
- This explains why drunk, lonely guys in bars often yell, “Tase me bro!”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!