In addition to being fired from the Food Network for admitting to making racial slurs in the past, Southern Cook Paula Deen has now been dropped by Wal-Mart. 

- Which is amazing since half their profits come from the stretch pants they sell to people who eat her food! 


Bobby Ferguson will be back in court today to declare that he’s completely broke and can’t afford a lawyer. But prosecutors say he has no proof of any of it on paper. 

- And if you can’t trust Bobby, who can you trust? How about Kwame? Oh yeah…I forgot. I’d ask him but he’s in the infirmary getting some ice for his bum knee. 


A funeral director in Farmville, Virginia is offering a new service to grieving relatives: A drive-thru viewing window. He says it will help the elderly who want to pay their respects but have a hard time getting out of their cars. 

- If you’re emotional and crying…don’t forget to ask for extra napkins.  

- One man has already complained, saying the guy he viewed in the window wasn’t his Uncle, proving once again…THEY ALWAYS GET IT WRONG AT THE DRIVE-THRU!


A man is Wisconsin has pleaded guilty to having sex with an abandoned couch on a public street. 

- Apparently he misunderstood the definition of a “Sex-tional”.


Yesterday the Supreme Court declared part of the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional, which will allow legally married gay couples to apply for federal benefits. 

- Meanwhile, the Government is so broke, they’ve asked the Supreme Court to declare all “Federal Benefits” unconstitutional. 

The Court also let stand a ruling that struck down California’s Prop 8 gay marriage ban, so gay marriage will soon be legal again in California. 

- And so will gay divorce! 


The New England Patriot’s have dropped tight end Aaron Hernandez after he was officially charged with murdering a friend following a dispute at a nightclub. 

- If convicted, he can kiss his days as a tight end goodbye. 

- OJ has already offered to write a book for Hernandez called, “If He Did It”. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with an all new Podcast!