North Korea claims it is set to launch a missile “any day now” and has told foreign diplomats in the country that it can’t guarantee their safety starting today. Kim Jong Un’s people have also urged tourists in South Korea to evacuate.
- With North Korea’s luck with missile launches so far, the only ones who should evacuate are the people in Kim Jong Un’s backyard.
- Mrs. Un pointed to her four month old daughter as proof that occassionally her husband’s missile actually reaches it’s target.
A camel presented to French President Francois Hollandes as a gift was mistakenly eaten by some locals.
- It was a little dry and the gravy was a bit lumpy.
Joe Biden scolded Republican lawmakers who are threatening to filibuster a new gun control bill by calling them “embarrassing”.
- Biden added that if the Rebubs do fillibuster, he told his wife Jill to go out on the Captiol steps with a shotgun and fire a couple shots in the air.
A list of rappers and celebrities, including Kim Kardashian, wrote a letter to President Obama, urging him to ease up on enforcing drug laws.
- Bill Clinton admits he signed the letter but insists he never inhaled.
- The letter will be read aloud in a “Joint” session of Congress.
Researchers say they can cut the fat content of a chocolate bar in half by infusing it with liquid , such as water or fruit juice.
- You can also cut the fat content in half by breaking the candy bar in two.
- Critics reacted to the news with Snickers.
A new survey found that women really do prefer tall men with large winkies.
- A similar survey found that short men with really small winkies threaten to launch nuclear missiles.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!