The Pope’s sudden announcement that he is stepping down at the end of February has left Catholics and just about everyone else in shock. 

- On the day of his departure, everyone at the Vatican will be treated to a farewell breakfast featuring “Eggs Benedict”.

 - Word is he’s going to write a tell-all…fortunately, it’ll be in Latin so no one has to worry what he’s “telling all” about.   

- He’s been tapped to host a new reality singing show: “American’s Who Don’t Worship False Idols”. 

- Those who upset about his resignation are referring to him as: “Pope Benedict Arnold”. 


President Obama gives his State of the Union Address tonight. 

-  In order to reach out to weapon-owning Americans, the speech will open with a 21-gun salute. 

- Obama is said to be nervous about the speech, but is “thrilled” that Beyonce will be singing during half-time between the President’s address and the Republican re-buttal. 


North Korea’s Kim Jong Un is bragging that he wants to test a nuclear missile - and will aim it directly at America. 

- Given his track record with missile launches, the boosters will be filled with rocket fuel and thousands of Viagra tablets. 


Today is Abe Lincoln’s birthday. 

- If he were alive today, I’ll bet his wife Mary Todd would treat him to dinner and tickets to a broadway show. 

- Who knew he was born on Paczki Day in 1809? 


A poll shows that a majority of Americans are against drone attacks on U.S. Soil. 

- Unless they’re aimed at Kim Kardashian’s house. 


Frozen food manufacturer Findus recalled Lasagna in the UK after it was found to contain a significant amount of horsemeat. 

- People are also suspicious of their “Filly Mignon”. 


Witnesses told that they saw Chris Brown and Rihanna smoking weed together in a club after the Grammy’s. 

- It’s nice to seem him “take a hit” on something other than Rhianna. 


On this day in 1964 the Beatles performed in New York City’s Carnagie Hall. 

- The audience liked them, but said when it came to long-haired music, they would have preferred Beethoven. 


REMINDER: The 16-hour Salavation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is coming up next week, on Friday, February 22 from 6am to 10pm, LIVE from the Oakland Mall. Once again it will be broadcast on 760 WJR! SAVE THE DATE!