President Obama told supporters at an inaugural event that he loves his wife Michelle’s new hairdo - including the bangs. 

- When I hear “President” and “Bangs” in the same sentence, I usually think of Bill Clinton. 


Beyonce’s stirring rendition of the National Anthem at Monday’s Inauguration was hailed as the best in a generation - until the London Times reported that she’d recorded it in advance and lip-synched the performance. 

- If only Joe Biden would pre-record and lip-sync his speeches. 

- People didn’t think it was that great until Kanye West jumped up on the platform and announced that “Beyonce has the greatest version of the National Anthem of all time!” 


Speaker of the House John Boehner says he has no idea what he said that prompted First Lady Michelle Obama to very publicly roll her eyes during the inauguration. 

- Sometimes being honest and saying, “Yes…that dress makes your butt look big” doesn’t go over very well. 


Manti Te’o will be interviewed by Katie Couric about his imaginary dead girlfriend. 

- I guess talking about an imaginary dead person can help revive both of their careers. 

- Manti’s imaginary alive current girlfriend is said to be furious that he keeps dwelling on his fake past relationships instead of the fake one he has with her. 


Justin Bieber photographed himself mooning the camera and posted the photo of his bare butt on Instagram. 

- The girls were all excited until they noticed the diaper rash. 


In Wisconsin, two strippers were arrested for fighting over a dollar bill. They tussled on the floor, punching, slapping and pulling each other’s hair. 

- Everyone was in agreement: The cops called it “A circus” and the men in the crowd called it “The Greatest Show on Earth”. 


On this day in 1942 Earl Tupper bought his first manufacturing plant to introduce his invention, “Tupperware”. 

- Before that, the only thing burping in most homes were babies and husbands.  


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!