Kwame Kilpatrick has been cleared of sexual misconduct in prison for a one-second-long-incident in which he touched his wife’s breast while she visited him in the slammer last summer.  Inmates are allowed one kiss and one hug at the start and end of each visit… but nothing else.  A video shows Kwame briefly grazing Carlita’s breast while the two talked, but court officers decided Kilpatrick’s touch “was not done for the purpose of sexual gratification”. 

- Kwame assured his jealous cellmate Bubba that it was all a big mistake!

- Carlita was outraged by the verdict… she’s the one who filed the complaint. 

- Kwame immediately sexted… uh… texted his supporters with the good news.  

- His lawyer took a cue from Johnny Cochran when he used the “He got no thrill from the breast, I can attest!” defense. 

- Kwame had been prepared to cop a feel - I mean - cop a plea if things hadn’t gone his way.