A video has surfaced of Bill and Hillary Clinton taking a commercial Delta flight from Washington D.C. to New York.  

- And they didn't even have to pay full price! Bill got the tickets using a "Grope-On". 

*****

In honor of "National Dress Like a Cow Day", Chick-fil-A restaurants are giving away free entrees today. The catch: You have to dress like a Cow to get the free Chicken. 

- What are the chances that I'd pick this week to take my Cow Costume to the cleaners??? 

*****

Do You Believe In Miracles??? All 12 boys and their soccer coach have been rescued from an underwater cave in Thailand.

- They had to fight water plus tight conditions. And since the kids were soccer players, they couldn't use their hands. 

***** 

Thousands of Millennials took to Twitter last night to complain that President Trump's live announcement of his Supreme Court pic delayed finding out which guys were chosen for the "Group Date" on The Bachelorette. 

- Put another way... we're doomed. 

*****

According to Wallet Hub, the high rate of car thefts, parking fees, accident likelihood and average gas prices has earned Detroit the title of "America's WORST City to Drive In". 

- We're #1! We're #1!

- If only they'd factored in Potholes, we would have been voted "The Worst City To Drive In Of All Time!"

*****

A new study found that feeling much younger than your age could be a sign that your brain is aging more slowly. 

- In a related story, a new study found that feeling UP Women much younger than your age could be a sign that you're a member of the Rolling Stones. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

The Mayor of London has given the green light to a 20ft balloon depicting President Trump as a huge orange baby that will fly above Parliament during Trump's visit Friday. 

- The last time anything flew over Britain that was this vindictive and full of hot air, was when the Nazi's bombed London in World War II.

*****

Starbucks announced that it will do away with plastic straws at it's more than 28,000 stores worldwide by 2020.

- So the only thing customers will have to Suck Up is paying 7 bucks for a cup of coffee. 

*****

Prez Trump will announce his second pick for the U.S. Supreme Court live on TV tonight at 9pm.

- In an attempt to get more millennial viewers, Trump will gather all the potential Judges at the White House... and present the winner with a Long-Stem Red Rose. 

*****

Arnold Schwarzenegger's 20 year old love child, Joseph, was photographed on a beach looking just as muscle-bound as his Dad. 

- Joseph said being muscular is in his genes. And getting in the maid's jeans probably is too.

*****

"Little House on the Prairie" star Melissa Gilbert is moving out of her Brighton home and relocating to  NYC after 5 years in Michigan. 

- "Good Riddance!" said her neighbor, Miss Nellie Oleson. 

*****

24 year old Justin Bieber is engaged to Alec Baldwin's niece, Hailey. 

- The happy couple is registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond and several prison commissaries. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick 

Nia Vardalous, the star of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" has filed for divorce from her husband of 25 years. 

- Get all the details in the upcoming movie, "My Big Fat Greek Divorce". 

*****

An artist in the Philippines is facing charges of "animal cruelty" after posting a video of himself executing a cockroach he found in his apartment in a homemade miniature electric chair. 

- He was taken into custody after a RAID! on his apartment. 

- He's being charged with First Degree Insect-i-cide.

*****

Oprah told British Vogue magazine that she WILL NOT run for President in 2020. 

- The reason? She can't decide who will be the First Spouse... Stedman or Gayle King. 

*****

Stormy Daniels' lawyer Michael Avenatti says he will run for President in 2020. 

- This guy's got a bigger ego than President Trump and Kanye West combined. 

*****

Scarlett Johansson is being attacked on social media for agreeing to play a transgender man in the movie "Rub & Tug," a film based on the true story of transgender massage parlor owner. 

- In her defense... It takes a lot of cajones for a woman to play a man. 

*****

A massive new study found that drinking two to six cups of coffee a day (even decaf!) can dramatically increase a person's lifespan. 

- And if you take sugar in your Joe, it'll dramatically increase your chance of getting Diabetes. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick 

From the entire Purtan Family to You & Yours... Have a Safe, Happy & Healthy 4th of July! 

See you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

A bear who couldn't bare the heat any longer was videoed lapping up a margarita and splashing around in an unheated hot tub in California last weekend.

- Clearly he is not your Average Bear. 

- The bear said he thought he was at his health club and apologized for making a "Boo-Boo". 

*****

Lebron James has now boosted the LA Lakers’ odds of winning the NBA Title from 12-1 to 7-2. Experts say he gives the team "a whole new face".

- He's the Cher of Basketball. 

*****

Thousands of online shoppers are threatening to boycott Walmart after finding out they were selling “Impeach 45” apparel on their website.

- Execs say they LIKE some of Trump's ideas, pointing to their array of "Make Triple X Stretch Pants Great Again!" baseball caps. 

*****

A study by Texas State University found that posting your fitness accomplishments on social media can make others feel bad about themselves.

- Isn't making other people feel bad the reason most people post their fitness accomplishments on social media in the first place???

*****

A transexual model - who was born a man but had surgery to become a woman - made history by beating out dozen of women to represent Spain in the Miss Universe Pageant. 

- He/She said she wouldn't have been able to "make the cut" if He/She hadn't "make that other cut" a few years back. 

*****

A Norwegian Cruise Line crew member who fell overboard Saturday was miraculously found alive 22 hours later by a Carnival cruise ship.

- Wow. He survived 22 hours in the ocean only to get food poisoning on his first trip to the Carnival "I Heart Seafood Buffet". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here on the 4th of July!

-Dick 

Taking a Vacation

We are taking a vacation for a while.

See you soon,

- Dick

The obituary of an 81 year old Minnesota woman has gone viral - after her family gave a less-than-glowing summation of her life, saying that she got pregnant by her husband's brother, "abandoned" her kids and that quote, "the world is a better place without her". 

- FYI: Visitation and Grave-Stomping will be this Sunday from 1 to 4pm. 

- Say what you want, but her family sure knows how to put the "Fun" in "Funeral". 

*****

The NY Post has confirmed that Dennis Rodman will be in Singapore for the big Trump/Kim Jong Un Summit next week... and may even play a role in the negotiations. 

- Think of him as Henry Kissinger in a wedding dress. 

*****

Pancake lovers are flipping out over IHOP's announcement that, after 60 years, they're changing their name to the mysterious sounding "IHOb". The meaning of the "b" will be revealed next Monday. 

- My money is on "bypass". As in Heart "bypass" Surgery. 

- I'm okay with the name change... but if they try to mess with the "Rooty Tooty Fresh & Fruity" breakfast platter - count me out. 

*****

A man in NY is suing CVS after one it's employees told his wife about his prescription for Viagra - which he paid for in cash and kept hidden from his bride. 

- His wife is up in arms and the man is just... well... UP. 

*****

Simon Cowell claims he's much less "irritated and annoyed" since ten months ago he stopped constantly looking at his cell phone. 

- Imagine how much less "irritated and annoyed" he'd have been during "American Idol" if he'd only stopped looking at Paula Abdul.

*****

Today the 6th of June.... On this fateful day in 1944, the U.S. and Allied Troops overcame incredible odds when they stormed the beaches of Normandy and started the path towards Victory in World War II. 

Have a great day... Thank a Veteran... and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

The Miss America Pageant is dropping the Swimsuit competition beginning with this year's pageant in September so the girls will no longer be judged on their looks.  

- Doesn't matter to me. I only watched the Pageant for the articles anyway. No wait... that's was Playboy. 

- Pageant officials said It was "an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot decision".  

*****

Starbucks Chairman Howard Schultz announced he is leaving amid speculation that he's planning a Presidential run in 2020. 

- Insiders say he's already ordered a bunch of "Make America GRANDE Again" baseball caps. 

- He hasn't even announced yet, and he's already locked up the all-important "Barista Vote". 

*****

The Mayor of Philadelphia lashed out at the President after Trump "disinvited" the Super Bowl winning Philadelphia Eagles from a White House reception today because only 10 players said  they would attend. The Mayor called Trump "a fragile egomaniac". 

- Well I wouldn't call him "fragile". 

*****

Bill Clinton has changed his story... This morning he said that he DID personally apologize to Monica Lewinsky after their sex scandal, claiming he was just "hot under the collar" when asked about it on Sunday.

- He was "hot under the collar" as opposed to his usual state of "hot under his belt". 

*****

A physicist who did some work for MSU is facing charges of beastiality for allegedly having a 3 month long "sexual relationship" with a Basset Hound. O.M.G.!!!

- The physicist claims the sex was "consensual" and that the two met on Fetch.com. 

*****

Queen Elizabeth went all out when it came to a wedding gift for Prince Harry and his bride Meghan Markle: She gave them a historic Stone Cottage. 

- It was built in the 1800's, so basically she gave them a fixer-upper. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

GM Executive VP Mark Reuss crumbled the front of the $125,000 Corvette pace car he was driving during the parade lap of the Detroit Grand Prix Sunday by hitting the wall. 

- The old Chevy ad slogan "Like a Rock" didn't work out so well. 

*****

When asked by "Today" show hosts this morning whether he ever apologized to Monica Lewinsky for abusing his power during their affair, Clinton said, "No". 

- He added "I have never had apologetic conversations with that woman... Miss Lewinsky".

*****

Just 9 days before his "On-Again" summit with Prez Trump, Kim Jong Un fired three of his top military leaders and replaced them with younger generals. 

- Technically he didn't "fire" them... He "firing squaded" them. 

*****

A survey by Office Team found that 80% of bosses say the quality of a worker's wardrobe plays a direct role in whether or not they get a promotion. 

- Which explains why Plumbers rarely get a crack at moving up the corporate ladder. 

*****

According to a new survey, Las Vegas is the "Best City in the World" for finding a romantic partner.

- The partnership may only last an hour and cost you a hundred big ones, but still, it's "a romantic partner". 

***** 

Brian DePalma, who directed "Scarface" and "Carrie" said that he's writing a horror film about Harvey Weinstein. 

- Seeing Harvey naked in the shower will make "Psycho" seem like a Disney Movie. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick 

A Goose who ran wild on the field at Comerica Park last night during a rain delay, evaded capture by Groundskeepers, only to fly straight into the scoreboard.

- The bird is fine... but he should have listened to the crowd chanting, "Duck! Duck! Goose!" 

*****

Roseanne Barr's ex, Tom Arnold, says "she did it on purpose". 

- But don't worry about her. I'm bettin' she's already got a plan to star in a reboot of "The Biggest Loser".  

*****

A car salesman in Texas is suing his boss for creating a "hostile work environment" by repeatedly "breaking wind" in the salesman's office to "keep him in line". 

- Sounds like someone isn't following the EPA's Emission Standards. 

- So much for that "New Car Smell". 

*****

Harvey Weinstein's attorney says that despite indictments handed down by a Grand Jury Thursday, "Harvey continues to maintain his position of innocence". 

- Which is new, since the women who had to deal with him said he loved to CHANGE positions. 

*****

Officials in Hawaii are warning residents not to roast marshmallows over flowing lava, as it could be dangerous. 

- Ya think?

- Apparently that whole "Pompeii" thing could have been avoided if the Girl Scouts hadn't been on a camping trip.

*****

A massive new study out of Britain found that people who need reading glasses are genetically prone to be more intelligent than those with good eyesight.

- If it's true... I have been a flipping GENIUS since I was 7!

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

Roseanne Barr, whose hit sit-com was cancelled by ABC after she tweeted racist comments says the sleeping pill Ambien made her do it. 

- Bill Cosby said, "That's why when I was shooting 'The Cosby Show', I stuck with Quaaludes".

- Remember the good old days when the most offensive thing Roseanne did was grabbing her "covfefe" while "screeching" the National Anthem?

*****

Grosse Pointe Shores has been named the "Richest City" in Michigan with an average household income of 150 grand.  

- All that money and the men still can't afford socks.

*****

The 'world's oldest man' - 114 year old Fredie Blom from Cape Town, South Africa has announced that he's trying to quit smoking. 

- I'm all for a healthy lifestyle, but if you make it to 114... "Smoke 'em if you got 'em".

*****

With talks underway to reschedule his summit with Kim Jong Un, President Trump will hold another summit today:  He's meeting with KIM KARDASHIAN to discuss prison reform. 

- Wow. He may be the first U.S. President in history to have a summit with Lil Kim and Big-Butt-Kim in the span of a month! 

***** 

Two little boys in Denver who opened a lemonade stand to raise money for a child in Indonesia, were forced to close their operation because someone alerted Police that they didn't have a permit. 

- Thus the expression, "When Life Hands You Lemons... Make Sure You Get A Permit Before You Make Lemonade". 

*****

A televangelist based in Louisiana is asking followers to donate $54 Million to buy a private jet - saying that "If Jesus were alive today, he wouldn't be riding around on a donkey... he'd be flying around the world preaching". 

- This guy should stick to donkey-riding since he's clearly a Jackass.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

Starbucks will close all 8000 of it's US locations this afternoon for 4 hours of "Anti-Bias Training". 

- So if you're planning on buying an eight dollar cup of Joe today, you'll have to go to Tim Hortons... 4 times. 

*****

After being officially charged on Friday, Harvey Weinstein spent the holiday weekend wearing an ankle tether. 

- He's already complaining that the tether makes it hard to take his pants off. 

*****

Social Media is buzzing about Hillary Clinton's health after she was photographed at an annual Memorial Day Parade in NY wearing a winter coat and scarf - despite a temperature of 72 degrees.

- Some say she's concealing a back brace... I think we finally found out where she's hiding those 3,000 missing emails.  

*****

A Manhattan woman is being sued for $1 million by her gynecologist after she posted a negative review about him on YELP claiming he charged her for an unnecessary ultrasound and never even gave her a breast exam. 

- This is the first time in a long time we've heard about a lawsuit where a guy is accused of NOT touching a woman's boob.

*****

While 89% of Michiganders surveyed by AAA say the State's road's are in "Poor Condition", 2% believe our roads are in "Excellent Condition".

- Apparently the 2% are the ones who didn't go on a Holiday Road Trip around the State this Holiday Weekend! 

***** 

Richard Nixon's "Western White House" in California is on sale for $63.5 Million. 

- Critics say it's over priced, but the realtor said "I am not a crook!" 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

Over my last few years on the air approaching Memorial Day Weekend, I recited the following poem in honor and in memory of the brave men and women of the Military who have laid down their lives that we may live ours.

That poem, “The Inscription”, was sent to me by a listener, Paul Reside. Paul’s Grandmother, Annabelle Gunnett Jones, penned it around 1932. The poem was picked up and published in the the Perry County, Ohio newspaper for a number of years on “Decoration Day”, or as we know it today - “Memorial Day”.

Annabelle was inspired to write the poem by her husband, a World War I Veteran, as a tribute to the Unknown Soldier. 

I hope you will share “The Inscription” with your family and friends.  In these turbulent times, it is imperative that we never forget the sacrifice our men and women in uniform have made, and continue to make today, so that we may live in freedom.

After listening to Annabelle's words, I think you might enjoy a few of my favorite patriotic songs performed by some of this great country's greatest artists. The first one posted was taken from last night's "National Memorial Day Concert" - It's a beautiful rendition of "Requiem for a Soldier" - The main theme from the 2001 Steven Spielberg/Tom Hanks mini-series, "Band of Brothers". 

From the entire Purtan Family to You and Yours... Have a Safe, Pleasant & Peaceful Memorial Day! 

-Dick 

For those of you who said you enjoyed the Official Wedding Photo of the Royal Family but thought someone was missing... here's an updated pic. (The kid's Official Title is "Duke Duke Duke Duke of Earl Earl Earl. Duke of Earl. Duke Duke. Duke of Earl"). 

*****

Queen Elizabeth has sent her Private Assistant Secretary to Meghan Markle for 6 months... "to teach her how to be a Royal". 

- Things like how to do "The Wave" at Cricket games.

*****

Caitlyn Jenner says "It's very tough to maintain a relationship with all her children" because "they've all moved on". 

- Basically they've cut Caitlyn off... then again, that's what Bruce did to himself to become Caitlyn in the first place. 

*****

Robert De Niro, who has called President Trump "an F--ing Fool", says he wouldn't allow the Commander in Chief into any of his "Nobu" restaurants. 

- Trump responded on social media, demanding "You Tweetin' to me? You Tweetin' to ME???" 

*****  

Scientists at Syracuse University says research shows that people we meet use our first name to judge everything from our personality to our performance at work.

- For obvious reasons, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my Mom & Dad. NOT. 

*****

The NFL says Players who kneel during the National Anthem next season will be fined... but gave them the option of staying in the locker room until the singing is over. 

- Except for the Lions who may as well stay in the locker room until the GAME is over. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick 

The new 17 foot sculpture in front of Campus Martius named "Waiting" that is supposed to represent the spirit of the "New Detroit" is being met with decidedly mixed reviews. (Personally, I think they should have named it "Ri-DICK-ulous"). 

******

A group of 10 McDonald's workers have filed sexual harassment claims against the company.  

- Apparently "Hold the Pickle" is okay over at Burger King... but at McDonalds, not so much. 

*****

This afternoon, the Mayor of West Hollywood will present Stormy Daniels with a Key to the City for her leadership in the #RESIST movement, and have proclaimed today, "Stormy Daniels Day". 

- Nothing says "WOMEN ARE NOT OBJECTS!" like giving a Porn Star her own holiday.

*****

Meghan Markle's dad is continuing his "Cardio Rehab" following heart surgery. Just days after downing a Frappachino, he was photographed chowing down at a Chinese restaurant. 

- I love Chinese food! Especially the Sweet, Sour & Sodium Sauce! 

- Mr. Markle reportedly dined on "General's Tso's Nitroglycerin Chicken".

*****

A new study predicts that almost 25% of the world's population will be "severely obese" by 2045. 

- By my observations we're gonna get there by August.  

*****

A 7th Grade Science Teacher in Pittsburgh is in trouble after teaching his class about Oral Sex and having them look up pix on their phones "because school computers would block the images". 

- Remember the days when the most exciting thing you did in Science Class was making a volcano erupt with vinegar and baking soda? 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

After welcoming Girls & changing their name to "Scouts BSA", "The Boy Scouts" reportedly announced that alcohol and condoms must be available at the upcoming World Scout Jamboree.  

- Organizers say they'll have plenty of condoms, so if the Scouts run out, they can just ask for S'more. 

- Up next? "The Bill Cosby Drug-Your-Date Merit Badge"??? 

*****

Starbucks also has a new policy:  Non-paying customers can "hang out" and use the bathrooms, but using drugs and smoking is not okay. 

- So... Starbucks has the same rules my Mom had when I was in high school. 

*****

Meghan Markle's father was released from the hospital after missing her wedding due to heart surgery and headed straight to Starbucks where he was photographed holding a "Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino" - packing 540 calories. 

- At this rate, he's not going to around for her 1st Anniversary Party either.  

- That must be the new Medical protocol these days: Have heart surgery followed immediately by a Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino. 

*****

Hillary Clinton wore a Russian hat during her commencement speech at Yale University and joked "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em". 

- If that's what she said, she should have worn a "Make America Great Again" hat.   

*****

Despite doing two cartwheels and scoring a Perfect 30 on her freestyle dance last night, Tonya Harding failed to win the Mirror Ball Trophy on "Dancing With The Stars". 

- When the announcement came, Tonya fell to her knees crying "Why NOT me??? Why NOT now???"

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

Welcome to Monday and a special Post-Royal-Wedding Podcast! If you're like me, you set your alarm for the crack of dawn Saturday, baked up a fresh batch of crumpets and settled in with a cup of Earl Grey and a pallet of tissues to watch Harry and Meghan Tie the Knot. NOT!!! But Jackie did! She joined me at the Purtan Family Dining Room Table just a few hours after the Happy Couple said their "I Wills" to dish all the details - and try to explain to me why this "event" was so worth losing sleep over. From the Queen to the Clooney's to the all important DRESS...  she's got estrogen-laced castle to castle coverage. Plus we'll tell why a one-month-old boy stands a better chance of becoming King than the newly minted Groom does! (The baby's already spoken his first words... "It's GOOD to be the KING!!!")

So give a Royal Wave goodbye to whatever you're doing... and take a few minutes to join us for Podcast #228. You'll be bloody gobsmacked, mate! 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick

Looking for a unique way to celebrate Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's wedding? Pick up some condoms called "The Royal Jewels"... which play "God Save the Queen" and "The Star-Spangled Banner".

- The best part? One Size Fits All... Scepters.  

- Speaking of sex... I sure hope Prince Charles has had "The Talk" with Harry. 

*****

Sir Elton John will perform at the Nuptials on Saturday. 

- In honor of Meghan's crazy not-invited relatives... he'll perform "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting". 

*****

Disney announced that they will begin serving alcohol at ALL of it's theme park restaurants. 

- If you don't think it's the Greatest Place on Earth when you first get there, you will after a few "Mickey Mouse Martinis". 

- In a related story, Bill Cosby insists he never gave one of his "special drinks" to Sleeping Beauty. 

*****

A Silverback Gorilla at a Dutch Zoo was caught by a photographer flipping the bird to a group of onlookers - including kids. 

- One of the kids said, "Hey Dad! That Gorilla just did the same thing you always do when we're driving!" 

***** 

Happy 1st Birthday to the Mueller Investigation into anything involving President Trump and Russian Collusion! 

- Like most 1 year olds... Investigators are still crawling around babbling things no one can understand. 

*****

The CEO of Bumble Bee is the latest packaged seafood exec to be indicted on charges of "Fixing Tuna Prices". 

- Sorry, Charlie! 

- As the old saying goes... "You can Tune a Piano, but you Can't Tune the Prices of Canned Fish". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick

I hate to break your heart... but the NY Post has confirmed that the Spice Girls WILL NOT be reuniting for a performance at the Royal Wedding. 

- I haven't been this disappointed since "Toots Dentino and his Hot Diggity Dogs" backed out of their gig at my Dad's wedding to my Step-Mother.  

*****

The Judge in the Bill Cosby case says the 80 year old, who's facing a likely 10 years behind bars, will be sentenced in September.  

- Bill's so nervous that, unlike his dates, he's barely getting any sleep. 

*****

Kim Jong Un is threatening to cancel his upcoming summit with President Trump because of joint military exercises between the US and S. Korea which KJU says are "Practice for an Invasion". 

- And Lil Kim's waistline make it look like HE's practicing for an EXPLOSION.

*****

Gayle King told Vanity Fair magazine that her best friend Oprah Winfrey smokes a little marijuana every now and again. 

- I knew it! She WAS high when she gave everyone in her audience a new car! 

*****

A Russian woman purported to be the oldest living person ever at 128 says she hasn't lived a single happy day in her life and her longevity is "a punishment from God".

- Lucky for her, people who are named "The Oldest Person Alive" usually die a week later, so hang on, it's almost over. 

*****

No matter what year you were born, you may be part of the "Indoor Generation"... the name scientists are giving to the nearly 25% of Americans who spend 21 to 24 hours EVERY DAY indoors. 

- There's another name for them: "Convicts". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

Tonya Harding advanced to the "DWTS" finale last night saying "I've been knocked down and now I've been picked back up!"

- The same thing happened to Nancy Kerrigan... but she needed help with the getting "picked back up" part.  

*****

During a service this morning, Pope Francis admitted that he has thought about hanging up his hat and retiring.

- And that's gonna be ONE BIG HAT. 

*****

With the Nuptials just 4 days away, Meghan Markle's father announced that he won't walk her down the aisle because he had a heart attack last week. 

- He had the heart attack when somebody told him, as Father-of-the-Bride, he had to pay for the Royal Wedding.

*****

Bernie Sanders son Levi, a Democrat, says that Hillary Clinton hurt voters self-esteem, but President Trump has done "an incredible job" of making voters feel good about themselves. 

- Even Stormy Daniels admits that Trump made her feel "like the only Porn Star in the room!"

*****

The NYPD arrested a woman on Saturday after finding a stolen $30,000 Rolex in her panties. 

- This gives a whole new meaning to "Sexy Time". 

*****

A Reproductive Scientist from China says that thanks to new technology it will soon be commonplace for 60 year old women to have babies. 

- They already have them... they're called "Grandchildren". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick