Today's The Day!

February 26, 2016

It's finally here! The 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon got underway at 6am and runs through 10pm tonight! You can donate now by calling 248-528-0760 or text PURTAN to 41444 to help turn Gail's and my $30,000 donation into $60,000! This is THE fundraiser for the Bed & Bread Program that feeds over 4200 people a day, 365 days a year and shelters more than 500 people every night! I'll be calling in throughout the day...and then will be hosting the final 3 hours from 7pm to 10pm with Big Al, Jackie & the rest of "Purtan's People" live from the Emagine Theater on Eleven Mile in Royal Oak. I hope you'll tune in to the broadcast on WJR am 760 and DONATE, or right now just text PURTAN to 41444 to donate in our "Match" and turn $30,000 into $60,000! Anything you can give will make a huge difference in the lives of so many of our fellow Metro-Detroiters! Thank you!

-Dick

A Picture Says A Thousand Words...

February 25, 2016

We are less than 24 hours away from the 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon! I've told you how absolutely vital the Bed & Bread Program is... feeding more than 4200 people a day - EVERY DAY - 365 days a year, and sheltering more than 500 men, women and children each and every night. Now I want you to see it in action.

Yesterday, after appearing with my daughter JoAnne on Channel 7 Action News at Noon, I had the privilege of going out on one of the trucks to help feed some of those very real people. And, I don't have to tell you, it was not a day for anyone to be on the streets! But they were. As they always are. And they came in droves. Please scroll through the photos below... and then take out your smartphone, text PURTAN to 41444 and donate what you can. Gail and I are asking you to help "Match" our $30,000 donation and turn it into $60,000. There are thousands of men, women and children who will be grateful for whatever you can give. Thank you!

-Dick

And don't forget to tune into the live broadcast of the Radiothon - tomorrow - Friday, Feb. 26, from 6am to 10pm on WJR am 760! I'll be hosting the 7pm to 10pm portion...along with "Purtan's People" and a whole host of "characters" from my radio show!

February 24, 2016

As Winston Churchill said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

Look, I know I've beaten you over the head with this...but it's for good reason! 48 hours from now the 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Radiothon will be in full swing... And today is a big day for me. First, I'll appear with my daughter JoAnne on Channel 7 Action News at Noon to talk about the Big Event. Next, I'll head over to the Salvation Army, jump on one of the Bed & Bread Trucks and hit the streets to serve a nourishing meal, along with hats, coats, mittens, & blankets to some of the almost 4200 men, women and children that the trucks serve every day, 365 days a year...not to mention sheltering over 500 people tonight, and every night.

If there's ever been a day to remind you what it must be like to live on the streets, or in an abandoned building, just waiting for one of the Bed & Bread trucks to show up, it's today. Imagine having to huddle somewhere, trying to stay warm and avoid the ice-cold rain and snow - with hunger gnawing at your stomach and mind - awaiting the arrival of that truck and what may be the only meal you'll have that day.

That is the reality for so many of our fellow Metro-Detroiters - including so many children! And that's why the Bed & Bread Program has been near and dear to my heart since we started the Radiothon 29 years ago.

This year, Gail and I are donating $30,000 and we're asking you to help "Match" that amount and turn that $30,000 into $60,000. You don't have to wait until Friday... you can do it right now. Just pick up your smartphone, text PURTAN to 41444 and follow the prompts. A donation of $120 - that's just $10 a month - feeds 5 people for an entire month and gets you in the "Bed & Bread Club". And if you double that to $240 ($20/month) you'll feed 10 people for a month and you'll receive a special video about the Bed & Bread Program. It couldn't be easier and any amount you can give will be appreciated by Gail and me, the Salvation Army, and most importantly... the people you will be helping to feed and shelter through the Bed & Bread Program.

The Radiothon itself takes place the day after tomorrow, Friday, February 26th from 6am to 10pm and will be broadcast live on WJR am 760. I will be hosting the 7pm to 10pm hours along with "Purtan's People". It's a great event for a great cause! I hope you'll tune it... but mostly I hope you'll donate - which you can do RIGHT NOW by texting PURTAN to 41444 on your smartphone and following the prompts. As I've said... it's fast, easy and any amount you can give will make a real difference in the lives of so many.

Thanks for your support...and I'm headed out the door. See you on Channel 7 at noon - and then I'm off to ride on one of the Bed & Bread Trucks handing out food and warm clothing on this cold and snowy day!

Stay warm, please donate and again, Thank You!

All my best,

-Dick

February 23, 2016

Bill Cosby's wife gave a 2 1/2 hour deposition Monday about the sexual assault charges against her husband, but evoked "spousal privilege" on most questions.

- If she's like most of the women in Cosby's life, she doesn't remember anything anyway.

*****

President Obama is expected to make a big announcement today - that he'll close the prison on Guantanamo Bay and move the 90 remaining prisoners to the U.S.

- Donald Trump has already claimed that Obama plans to nominate one of the detainees to fill Justice Scalia's seat on the Supreme Court.

*****

90 year old comedic actor Dick Van Dyke posted a video online endorsing Bernie Sanders, saying Sanders "May be the last voice we'll ever hear".

- An emotional Van Dyke almost tripped over his words, then got up and tripped over an ottoman.

- When Mary Tyler Moore saw the video she said "Oh Rob!"

*****

Newly revealed records show that Adolf Hitler had a tiny deformed "manhood".

- So it turns out that as far as maniacal mass-murders go, he wasn't the whole package.

- Hitler struggled with this his whole life, calling it "The Battle of the (Little) Bulge".

*****

More and more people are trading in their expensive & addictive Smartphones for the old "Dumbphones".

- Proving once again, ladies and gentlemen...I am a trend setter!

*****

On this day in 1836 the Siege of the Alamo began in San Antonio, Texas.

- As a result, hundreds of tourists were forced to rent their cars from Hertz down the street.

*****

The 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is just four days away - THIS FRIDAY - February 26th. I can't stress enough just how important this program is! It feeds and shelters almost 5000 men, women & children in Metro-Detroit EVERY DAY, 365 DAYS A YEAR! For many... it's the only meal they get all day. This crucial program means so much to Gail and me, that this year we're donating $30,000 - and are asking you to donate what you can so we can turn that $30,000 into $60,000. Helping us meet this "Match" couldn't be easier! Just text PURTAN to 41444 on your smartphone and follow the prompts. You can do it right now! And don't forget to tune into the Radiothon this Friday - on WJR am 760 from 6am to 10pm. I will be hosting the 7pm to 10pm hours along with "Purtan's People". It will be a lot of fun for an extremely worthy cause! Thanks for your support!

-Dick

Have great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday.

February 22, 2016

Susan Sarandon says she's voting for Bernie Sanders because she doesn't vote with her, um, "lady parts".

- But apparently she votes with her "socialist parts".

*****

Jeb Bush has officially dropped out of the Presidential race after losing big to Donald Trump in Nevada on Saturday. Despite bringing his Mother in to campaign for him - who famously said a couple years ago "We've already had too many Bushes in the White House.

- Proving once again...that you should always listen to your mother.

*****

It's George Washington's Birthday... and if he were alive he'd be 274 years old.

- Put another way, just slightly older than Bernie Sanders.

*****

Pat Sajak had a laughing fit on Friday night's episode of "Wheel of Fortune" when a contestant thought Paris was a country.

- She must have been confused when she saw Casablanca and thought Humphrey Bogart said "We'll Always Have France".

*****

A new study warns that men who keep their cell phones in their pockets for just an hour a day are seriously damaging their reproductive parts, and even keeping your phone on your nightstand can be harmful.

- Especially if your girlfriend goes through your phone and sees what you've been watching.

*****

A source close to the Kardashians says that despite her husband admitting he's $53 million in debt and claiming he's "more influential than Ghandi", Kim couldn't be prouder of Kanye.

- She's standing behind her man... And that is one gigantic behind.

*****

This Friday is the 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon...this is THE Fundraiser for this amazing program that feeds and shelters almost 5000 people A DAY. Gail and I are donating $30,000 and are asking you to donate what you can so we can turn that $30,000 into $60,000. You can do that right now by texting PURTAN to 41444 and following the prompts on your smartphone! It's quick, easy and so much appreciated!

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

The Dog Days of Winter

February 17, 2016

A German Shorthaired Pointer named CJ beat out 2700 rivals to win "Best In Show" at the 140th Annual Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden last night.

- CJ celebrated by running around in circles and rubbing his butt across the carpet.

- I always get the a little embarrassed when the judge inspects the dogs Kibbles & Bits.

*****

While we're on the subject... Hillary Clinton barked like a dog while making fun of Republicans at a Nevada rally.

- She knows how hound dogs behave since she's spent so many years with Bill.

*****

Apple says they will defy a court order to help the FBI break into the encrypted iPhone of the San Bernadino terrorists because the technology could then be used to hack into anyone's iPhone.

- The FBI says they haven't had this much trouble getting into something since Hillary's email server.

*****

Donald Trump says he's still skeptical of reports that Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died of natural causes and hints that foul play was involved.

- Trump has also demanded to see the death certificate and claims he died in Kenya, not Texas.

*****

Meanwhile a Pew survey found that 32% of Americans have never heard of Justice Antonin Scalia.

- And of those, 27% think "Antonin Scalia" is a new dish on the "Taste of Italy" menu at the Olive Garden.

*****

Paul McCartney was refused entry into a celeb-filled party after the Grammy's Sunday night.

- Paul said, "I don't know why you say Goodbye, I say Hello".

- Two words: Yoko Ono.

*****

A Spanish man who skipped work for six years was found out when his employer showed up to present him with an award for "20 Years of Service" to the company.

- His boss took immediate action... and changed the award to read "14 Years of Service".

- The guy should have just gone to work and spent the day surfing the net like everyone else.

Don't forget... The Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is less than two weeks away - on Friday the 26th, live on 760 am WJR from 6am to 10pm. This is the ONLY fundraiser for this critical program that feeds and shelters almost 5000 people every day, 365 days a year. This year, Gail and I are donating $30,000 and are asking you to contribute whatever you can so we can get a match and turn that $30,000 into $60,000! You can make your donation right now by texting PURTAN to 41444 on your smartphone and following the prompts. It's fast, easy and so appreciated! Thank you!

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Hello?

February 16, 2016

The producers of last night's Grammys admitted that several technical glitches made world famous singer Adele sound off key during her live performance.

- But Kanye West jumped up on stage and claimed that Beyonce had the greatest technical-glitch off-key performance of all time.

*****

While were on the subject... Kanye followed up his tweet the other day claiming to be over $50 Million in debt with another tweet - this one to Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg asking him to invest $1 Billion in his ideas.

- Certainly sounds reasonable to me.

- Apparently he's having trouble Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

*****

Due to a cash crisis, ISIS is not only cutting Jihadist salaries, they just announced they are cutting back on terrorist "perks" including free energy drinks and Snickers Bars. (All made in America btw).

- No Snickers Bars? Those guys are gonna go ballistic!

- You'd think ISIS would have plenty of cash since they don't have to pay anyone a pension.

*****

102 year old Maury Goosenberg and his 100 year old wife Helen were honored in California as America's longest married couple at 80 years, saying humor is the key to a long union.

- Maury and Helen said they can't remember life without each other. Then again, they can barely remember what they had for breakfast.

*****

A Bill put forth in Kentucky would require men to get a signed permission slip from their wives before being allowed to fill a prescription for Viagra.

- So basically, "The Moment Isn't Going To Be Right Unless Your Wife Says It Is".

- Maury Goosenberg said he's glad he lives in California.

*****

"Hookers for Hillary" held their first rally in Nevada yesterday. The group is comprised of "working girls" from the Moonlite Bunny Ranch Brothel.

- Bill is introducing the girls to Hillary since he knows them all.

*****

A Colorado State University study found that obese people see distances as farther than they actually are.

- To illustrate their point they said: Michael Moore thinks Pizza Hut is a mile away when it's really just down the street.

With the Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon coming up in less than two weeks - on Friday, February 26th, I really need your help! As you know, the Bed & Bread Program is near and dear to my heart - feeding and sheltering almost 5000 men, women & children in our area 365 days a year. This year Gail and I are donating $30,000 to the program and hope you will help us "Match" that money and turn it into $60,000. Any amount is welcome and you don't have to wait until the 26th to donate! Pick up your smartphone right now and text the word PURTAN to 41444 and follow the prompts. It's quick & easy...and together we can make a real difference in the lives of so many. And don't forget to listen to the Radiothon live on WJR am 760 on Friday, Feb. 26, from 6am to 10pm. I'll be hosting the 7pm to 10pm slot along with "Purtan's People". Thanks so much!

-Dick

P.S. Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

February 15, 2016

Today is Presidents Day!

- The day we set aside to honor George Washington and Abraham Lincoln by saving 50% on a new mattress.

- But to be fair... When I think of a mattress, Bill Clinton does come to mind.

*****

RIP... Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. He was found dead of natural causes in his room at a Texas resort on Saturday. He was 79. Even Liberal commentators were saying over the weekend that he was one of the great legal minds in the 240 year history of the United States.

*****

Democrats want a liberal replacement for Scalia, Republicans want a conservative...

- ...and most Americans think Judge Judy is the most qualified.

*****

Scalia's death means there are only eight justices on the High Court which could leave decisions stalled at 4-4.

- In the event of a tie, they will go to the time honored method of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

*****

Kanye West sent a tweet out over the weekend asking people to pray for him because he is $59 Million in debt.

- Not even the Pope is going for that one.

*****

Oddsmakers say tonight's Grammy for Album of the Year will likely go to rapper Kendrick Lamar's "To Pimp a Butterfly".

- I haven't been this excited since 2006 when the Oscar for Best Song went to "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp. (True!)

*****

Whole Foods announced that they plan on incorporating Tattoo parlors into some of their stores.

- We know two things: The tattoos will be overpriced and gluten free.

- Company Execs say they didn't really think about it, the idea just came to them organically.

- So now you can get a Free Range Chicken and a Tramp Stamp at the same store!

*****

In Canada, Doritos sold Valentine's Roses made out of tortilla chips.

- Nothing says "I Love You" like a bouquet covered in powdered nacho cheese.

*****

The Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is less than two weeks away! Gail and I are asking you to help match our donation this year of $30,000. Anything you would like to donate is welcome in our effort to turn that $30,000 into $60,000. Every penny raised goes to feed and shelter almost 5000 men, women & children every day. It's convenient and simple to donate - you can do it right now! Just text: PURTAN to 41444 on your smartphone and follow the prompts. The Radiothon itself takes place on Friday, Feb. 26th from 6am to 10pm and will be broadcast live on WJR am 760. I, along with all of "Purtan's People" will be hosting the 7pm to 10pm portion. Thanks so much.

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #187: "You Never Know Who's Listening"

February 12, 2016

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #187...with our special guest Tom DeLisle. Today we planned out some subjects to discuss but got off track and started talking about stuff that was more interesting...including:

- Tom tells the story of a tennis game between him and Caitlyn Jenner.

- What Bruce Jenner is getting Caitlyn for Valentine's Day.

- Lip Balm addicts.

- Actresses and their attempts to get attention at any cost. (Can you say Cleavage??)

- My scary appearance at a 1960's "Burn The Bra" rally in downtown Detroit.

- The problems Jackie had doing the News on my Radio show.

- The question Jackie asked a marathon runner she was interviewing on her Morning Show in New York City... and the reaction she got.

- The "event" that produced the highest ratings ever on my Radio show.

- And revealed: On their way to school...when some of my daughters didn't listen to my radio show!

So grab a virtual seat at the Purtan dining room table and join us for Podcast #187. (48:22)(Maybe my daughters will be listening at the same time...NOT).

And don't forget... The 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is just two weeks away - on Friday, Feb. 26th. It will be broadcast live from the Emagine Theater in Royal Oak from 6am to 10pm on WJR am 760. I - along with Big Al, Jackie and a bunch of the character guys from my show - will be hosting the 7pm to 10pm slot. This year Gail and I are donating $30,000 and are hoping you can help match that money and make it $60,000! You can donate right now by texting: PURTAN to 41444 on your smartphone! Every dollar goes to the critical Bed & Bread Program that feeds and shelters almost 5000 men, women and children every day, 365 days a year. Anything you can give will be appreciated more than you know. Thank you!

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog.

-Dick

February 11, 2016

Bernie Sanders didn't wait to be introduced on last night's "The Late Show"...he walked onstage during Stephen Colbert's monologue, announced the show's guest line up and reminded viewers that he won in New Hampshire.

- Bernie's kind of like a crazy old uncle who interrupts the preacher during a wedding ceremony to ask when dinner is gonna be served.

*****

Donald Trump's son Eric told an interviewer that waterboarding is no different than fraternity hazing.

- Apparently he's a member of Alpha Gamma Gitmo.

*****

Kanye West is facing a Twitter backlash for Tweeting that Bill Cosby is innocent.

- But admits that "Bill Cosby makes the greatest drug laced cocktails of all time."

*****

A New York Daily News survey found that the most popular item given up for Lent is alcohol.

- Well I'll drink to that.

*****

In an effort to come back from it's food poisoning scandal, Chipotle is giving away free food.

- Chipotle fans say the Chimichunga with a side of sour cream and E. Coli is to die for.

*****

A Florida man was arrested on Sunday for throwing an alligator into a Wendy's drive-thru.

- I'm not pointing fingers here, but the alligator has gone missing and customers say the Chili tastes "different".

*****

A British dominatrix was arrested for walking a Man on a dog leash through city streets.

- If she'd just kept him away from that fire hydrant.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

February 10, 2016

The owners of a Scottish animal shelter are trying find a suitable home for a Giant Bunny named Atlas.

- Meanwhile Bunnies at the Playboy Mansion are looking for a Nursing Home for Hugh Hefner.

*****

Bernie Sanders trounced Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire with 60% of the vote to her 38%.

- Pundits credit Sanders win to his promise of "free college for young people" and "free Early Bird Dinners" for voters his age.

*****

Trump won on the Republican side with 35% of the vote...but his supporters were blatantly insulted by the NY Daily News whose cover called the victory the "Dawn of the Brain Dead" and Trump voters "Zombies".

- Usually Trump is the one hurling those kind of insults.

*****

North Korea has executed it's Army Chief of Staff.

- Apparently they use their military leaders when they need someone for Target Practice.

*****

Three plus-size models will appear in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue next week.

- They're just like the regular swimsuit models except that in addition to liking puffy clouds and world peace, they also like food.

- Of course by Sports Illustrated standards, "Plus Size" is anything above a size 4.

*****

O.J. Simpson's White Bronco has been found in a California garage.

- Meanwhile, another famous white Bronco named Peyton Manning is sitting at home admiring his new Super Bowl Ring.

*****

Don't forget... The Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is coming up in two weeks, on Friday the 26th, live on 760 am WJR from 6am to 10pm. This is the ONLY fundraiser for this critical program that feeds and shelters almost 5000 people every day, 365 days a year. Gail and I are donating $30,000 and are asking you to contribute whatever you can so we can get a match and turn that $30,000 into $60,000! You can make your donation right now by texting the word "Purtan" to 41444 on your smartphone. It's fast, easy and so appreciated! Thank you!

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday.

-Dick

February 8, 2016

The Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl last night. Their Defense was too much for Carolina, losing to Denver 24-10. Congratulations to Peyton Manning on winning his 2nd Super Bowl and 200th career win! I personally thought that Cam Newton, QB for Carolina, should have shown some class and respect since he stood there chewing gum and swaying during the National Anthem, while the other players were putting their hands over their hearts.

*****

Lady Gaga sounded great during her version of the National Anthem while wearing red eye shadow and a tasteful red dress.

- Fortunately she left the meat at home.

*****

Chelsea Clinton accidentally referred to Bernie Sanders as "President Sanders" while campaigning for her mom on Friday.

- On the bright side, she didn't refer to him as "Colonel Sanders".

*****

North Korea defied international warnings and test launched a long range missile on Saturday.

- If he keeps acting up like this, Obama is threatening to put Kim Jong Un in a Time Out.

*****

93-year-old Norwood Thomas is flying from Norfolk, Virginia to Australia to reunite with his WWII girlfriend Joyce Morris - who he says is "the one that got away".

- When she heard he was making the trip her jaw hit the floor. And so did her boobs.

- They met when "The Germans wore Gray"...and will reunite thanks to a little Blue pill.

*****

A tattoo parlor in Vermont is giving away free tattoos of Bernie Sanders.

- They're also giving away Chris Christie tattoos...but they only have enough ink on hand to do one.

*****

The Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is coming up on Friday, February 26! Gail and I are asking you help match the $30,000 we will be donating. You can do it right now, by just texting the word "Purtan" to 41444 on your smartphone! Anything you can give to this program that feeds and shelters almost 5000 men, women and children 365 days a year will be greatly appreciated!

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #186: "Legendary Laughs"

February 5, 2016

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #186...our special tribute to the great Radio comedy team "Bob & Ray". With the death of Bob Elliot this week at the age of 92, Jackie and I, along with our special guest Tom DeLisle, celebrate the comic genius of these two Radio pioneers. We play three of their classic bits... including "The Slow Talkers Of America" and an interview by "Wally Ballou". Plus I'll tell you why I turned down an offer to "replace" Bob & Ray on a radio station in New York.

If you were fans of theirs, you'll love the bits. If you're not familiar with them... you are in for a treat.

So join us as we showcase two guys who influenced so many TV and Radio personalities... From Johnny Carson & David Letterman to Yours Truly.

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog!

-Dick

February 4, 2016

RIP... Bob Elliott, (on the right), one half of the great radio comedy team "Bob & Ray" has died at the age of 92. If you don't know them, they worked in the '50's, '60's and '70's and they were great heroes of mine and many others. I will feature some of their incredibly classic comedy bits on my new Podcast that will be up right here tomorrow, along with special guest Tom DeLisle.

*****

Under the category "You've Gotta Be Kidding"... Somehow Donald Trump has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for his "Vigorous peace through strength ideology", most likely by one of his supporters. He's up against some strong opposition including The Pope.

- Trump is now wearing a baseball hat embroidered with the slogan, "Make The Nobel Peace Prize Great Again".

*****

Levi's has released a new design called "wedgie fit" jeans that make your pants fit like you have a wedgie.

- Because we all want to go back and re-live Junior High School.

- The jeans go great with Levi's new line of "Swirly Sweaters".

*****

A new report claims that before deciding on a career in comedy, Bill Cosby thought about becoming a priest.

- Apparently he realized it would be pretty hard to convince the Nuns to stop by the Chapel for a cocktail.

*****

A Yahoo Tech study found that more and more Millennials are swiping right on Tinder.

- If you have any idea what that means, please contact me at dickpurtan.com.

*****

Congrats to coach Jim Harbaugh and U of M Football for signing the #1 recruit in the country, defensive tackle, Rashan Gary! The announcement was made at the end of a star-studded awards show-like production by Harbaugh called "Signing of the Stars" yesterday on ESPN.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow!

-Dick

February 2, 2016

Happy Groundhog Day! A time to celebrate since Punxsutawney Phil did NOT see his shadow this morning - meaning we'll have an early end to winter.

In Wisconsin, they had to get a new groundhog because the old one bit the mayor last year.

- The Mayor ended up with an early Spring but six more weeks of rabies.

We're also celebrating today... because the Iowa Caucuses are finally over! The 3 top winners on the Republican side were Cruz, Trump and Rubio - in that order. On the Democratic side, Clinton and Sanders are 50-50 in a statistical dead heat.

*****

The real winner is a woman in Nepal who turned 112 years old which she owes to smoking 30 cigarettes a day.

- She obviously hasn't heard that cigarettes can kill you.

*****

Hillary Clinton is putting out a children's book called "Some Girls Are Born To Lead".

- Meanwhile her husband is putting out a children's book called "Curious Bill Goes To The Moonlight Bunny Ranch".

*****

The principal of an elementary school is Minnesota has banned celebrations of Christmas, Thanksgiving and Valentines Day so as not to offend students of "diverse backgrounds".

- Finally...someone is taking a stand against the most divisive figure in America... Cupid.

- Instead of candy hearts reading "Be Mine", the principal will get notes reading "Up Yours".

*****

A study out of New Zealand found that dogs read faces just like humans do.

- And then they lick them.

*****

The American Crime Story series, "The People vs. O.J. Simpson" premieres tonight on FX.

- I can't wait to find out how it ends!

*****

Don't Forget! The 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Radiothon is coming up on Friday, February 26th on 760 WJR AM from 6am to 10pm. Gail and I are asking you to help match our $30,000 donation which you can do right now by texting the key word "Purtan" to 41444 on your cell phone. Any amount you donate to this local feeding and sheltering program is appreciated!

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow!

-Dick

February 1, 2016

FINALLY... After months of build up, the Iowa Caucuses will officially take place tonight, with the latest polls showing Trump & Cruz neck and neck among GOP voters and Clinton & Sanders neck and neck among Democrats.

- There hasn't been this much "necking" going on since Bill Clinton was in the Oval Office.

*****

Meteorologists predict that a huge snowstorm set to dump more than a foot of snow on Iowa won't hit until Tuesday morning.

- Iowans aren't worried about the snowstorm...since they've been dealing with a political snow job for months now.

*****

"Voting" in Iowa doesn't begin until 7pm so we won't know the results until late tonight.

- And Bernie Sanders won't know until he wakes up to have his Bran Muffin tomorrow morning.

*****

A study by the Salk Institute revealed that the capacity of the human brain is 10 times greater than previously thought.

- Unless you happen to be a Kardashian.

*****

The Fox television Network wowed audiences last night with a Live 3-Hour production of the Musical "Grease" following NBC's live production of "The Sound of Music" last year.

-Up next... a live version of "Oh, Calcutta" on the Playboy Channel.

*****

Just a reminder... The 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is coming up on Friday, February 26th. Gail and I will match all donations up to $30,000 that are made by texting "41444" on your smart phone and entering the key word "Purtan"! You don't have to wait for the Radiothon...you can donate right now to this vital program that feeds and shelters 5000 people a day! Any donation is welcome! Thank you!

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow!

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #185: "Just Around The Corner"

January 29, 2016

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Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #185. With the 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club 16-Hour Radiothon just around the corner, we welcome special guest Dale Johnson to the Purtan Dining Room Table. The big event will take place on Friday, February 26th at the Emagine Theater in Royal Oak and will be broadcast live on WJR 760 am. In this "Preview Podcast" I'll tell you about a new and unique way to give...and also ask a favor of you that would mean a lot to my wife Gail and me! It's something we've never done before...and you can really make a difference!

Remember, the Bed & Bread Program feeds 4300 Metro Detroit men, women and children every day - 365 days a year and shelters more than 500 people every night. There's no other program like it!

I'll also reveal which local "celebrity" reminds me of "The Donald", play a cut off one of my "Best Of" CD's, and share a story about the late Hector Sossi and my Dad. Who do you think knows more about Pasta? The owner of the Roma or a Mattress Salesman?

So Give Podcast #185 a listen... and listen to the unique New Way you can Give to the Radiothon!

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog!

-Dick

January 28, 2016

Despite pleas from Bill O'Reilly, Donald Trump says he will not take part in tonight's debate hosted by Fox News because of his on-going feud with moderator Megyn Kelly.

- So the remaining GOP candidates will be talking about the Elephant that's NOT in the room.

- If Fox really wants ratings, they should get rid of the other candidates and just make it a debate between The Donald and Megyn.

*****

Meanwhile Bernie Sanders met with President Obama for an hour yesterday, worrying Hillary Clinton's campaign.

- But Bernie says they didn't talk politics...it was just a Social-ist call.

*****

Mattel announced that Barbie will now come in three new body types - instead of the traditional stick figure doll - to reflect real women.

- Now you can choose from "Skinny Barbie", "Curvy Barbie" or "Rosie O'Donnell Barbie".

*****

A study in the Washington Examiner found that more people are watching porn because it's safer than having sex.

- Plus, you don't have to buy your computer dinner beforehand.

- And it doesn't ask you what your thinking about afterward.

*****

Mexican drug lord El Chapo says he can't sleep in prison because the guards leave a light on in his cell all night.

- I guess he won't be staying at the Motel 6 anytime soon.

*****

A U.S. expert says that North Korea is just weeks away from launching a rocket into space.

- So now instead of shooting his relatives, he can send them "Where No Aunts & Uncles Have Gone Before".

*****

Apple had the most profitable quarter in American business history.

- If you don't believe me, just look up the story on your iPhone.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with an all new Podcast!

-Dick

January 27, 2016

In an effort to end decades long rumors that he was dead, actor Abe Vigoda has died at the age of 94. He was best known for his roles as "Fish" on the sitcom "Barney Miller" and as the executed mob guy in "The Godfather".

- So finally...Fish is Sleeping With The Fishes.

*****

Donald Trump will not participate in tomorrow night's GOP debate hosted by Fox News because Megyn Kelly will be a moderator. He doesn't like her, because in the first debate she asked him about his many comments about women being "fat", and he thinks that was an unfair question.

- Trump is the classic example of a kid who says if he doesn't get what he wants, "I'm gonna take my ball and go home".

- Or possibly... The Donald and Megyn are two crazy kids who have a crush on each other.

*****

A 56 year old man crashed his car on I-75 in Detroit while watching a porn movie on his phone. Police say he was not wearing pants at the time.

- Hey...maybe the guy was just a big fan of Donald Duck.

*****

A new survey found that Star Wars has sold $715 million worth of toys since the film came out last month.

- Star Wars owner Disney issued a statement saying "Luke...You are our cash cow".

- Great. More stuff cluttering up 30 year old men's apartments in their parents basements.

*****

Wisconsin police are looking for burglars who made off with $90,000 worth of parmesan cheese.

- Apparently some people just don't care about their cholesterol.

*****

The Navy Seal who wrote a book about killing Osama Bin Laden is accused of keeping an unauthorized picture of his corpse.

- This gives a whole new meaning to the term "Photo-Bombing".

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

January 26, 2016

RIP... Hector Sossi, the owner of the Roma Cafe in the Eastern Market has died at the age of 92. I have known Hector since I was a little boy when my Dad would bring me on his sales trips from Buffalo to Detroit. We would stay at the Statler Hotel, eat breakfast at the Adam's Grill and have dinner at the Roma Cafe.

When Gail and I moved to Detroit in 1965, the first time we went out to dinner, I took her to the Roma and introduced her to Hector. After that the Roma became our favorite Italian restaurant in Detroit and continues to be. I used to mention the Roma on my radio show occasionally and Hector never failed to stop by our table and thank me for the mentions. He also never failed to NOT pick up the check! But that was fine with me...because the food was always so good!

Hector's wife Stella passed away a couple of years ago, she too was in her 90's. (It must have been the terrific meatballs!)

Our condolences to their daughter Janet who for some years has run the Roma so Hector could spend time in Florida and play his beloved Golf.

I'll have much more on Hector including a friendly argument he and my dad had over the meaning of "al dente" in my Podcast which will be posted on Friday.

*****

Kwame Kilpatrick wrote a jailhouse letter saying that when Governor Snyder said he only recently found out about the water crisis in Flint "he is being viciously, aggressively, and deliberately untruthful."

- As they say, It takes one to know one.

*****

Donald Trump told a crowd that he could shoot somebody and he still wouldn't lose any voters.

- Especially if he shot Ted Cruz.

*****

ISIS has se up a dating site for women who want to marry Jihadists.

- It's called "eDisharmony.com".

- It's great for women looking for a short-term committed relationship.

*****

A study by Business Week found that some porn writers earn more than porn actors.

- They have writers???

- I guess The Pen IS Mightier Than The Sword.

*****

Chris Rock is reportedly re-writing his Academy Awards monologue in light of the #OscarsSoWhite scandal.

- Meanwhile Jada Pinkett Smith says she's boycotting the entire Northeast because #SnowSoWhite.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

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