Gone Ice Fishing... Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
Click here to download Podcast
Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #184. Today daughter #2, Jackie, and I are joined at the Purtan Dining Room Table by daughter #5, Jessica. (She just happened to stop by to borrow some money - just kidding Jess!) The three of us discuss a list of words and phrases I found that aren't supposed to be used by people over 50 (see if you agree) and I don my Alex Trebek hat to give the girls a "Jeopardy!" quiz.
We also talk about some astounding song lyrics that will have you taking note the next time you hear your favorite ditty.
So take "Podcast #184 For $1000" and let us know what you think! And don't forget to put your answer in the form of a question... (38:14)
Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog!
-Dick
Kwame Kilpatrick has filed an appeal with the US Supreme Court hoping to get the high court to overturn his conviction.
- Just when you thought there wasn't any good news!
- He gave instructions to his lawyers to give oral arguments to the Judges, and if that doesn't work...try to bribe 'em.
*****
Happy Birthday to my Daughter Julie's boy Brayden... He's the Big 0-4 today!
*****
Donald Trump says would not rule out giving Sarah Palin a job in his administration.
- Meanwhile Bernie Sanders says he wouldn't rule out giving Sean Penn a job in His administration.
*****
A new study shows sleeping late can help prevent diabetes.
- Mostly because it keeps you from eating Fruit Loops and Prune Juice for breakfast.
*****
A new study found that nearly 10% of recent college grads in America think Judge Judy is a member of the US Supreme Court.
- Parents everywhere are paraphrasing Judy's line: "Don't Pee On My Leg and Tell Me I Just Paid 50 Grand For You To Be An Idiot".
- If you needed proof that our country is headed in the wrong direction...here ya go.
*****
The Fiat used by Pope Francis during his visit to Philadelphia is going to be auctioned off.
- It comes with heated seats and a cigarette lighter just in case a new Pope is elected.
*****
Mexican prison officials announced that drug kingpin El Chapo is now being guarded by a group of dogs.
- So now instead of building a tunnel, his friends are buying a squeaky toy.
- Or as El Chapo calls them, "Coke-Canines".
*****
The Mayor of Flint has endorsed Hillary Clinton for President.
- He used to disagree with her policies...but I guess that's just water under the bridge.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick
A new study found that berries and citrus fruits can help cure Erectile Dysfunction.
- So now, When the Moment's Right...Eat an Orange.
*****
A report by the US Intelligence Committee says Hillary Clinton's email server exposed documents that were even more sensitive than those that are labeled "Top Secret".
- Ironically, Bill's emails showed a lot of "Tops" that he was trying to keep "Secret".
*****
Michael Jackson's private collection of drawings are being auctioned off to benefit at-risk kids.
- Of course there are a lot fewer at-risk kids since Michael isn't around anymore.
*****
The big news in the publishing world is that Caitlyn Jenner will be releasing a memoir.
- It's one of those He Said/She Said stories.
*****
A large stake of the satirical newspaper and website "The Onion" has been sold to the Spanish Language Network, Univision.
- Then again, the report was published by "The Onion" so you never know.
*****
Pete Rose will be inducted into the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame.
- He's the Reds all-time leader in hits, runs, and errors in judgement.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
RIP... Glenn Frey. The co-founder of The Eagles has died at the age of 67. According to his lifelong friend Bob Seger, Glenn was in the hospital since November, was in and out of a coma, and finally succumbed to complications from rheumatoid arthritis, acute ulcerative colitis and pneumonia.
Frey was both a guitarist and songwriter...helping pen and sing many of The Eagles hits like "Take It Easy", "Lyin' Eyes", "Hotel California", "Desperado", and "Take It To The Limit".
The band broke up in 1980 - but reunited for a tour last summer. The Eagles sold over 150 Million albums. Frey was a graduate of Royal Oak Dondero High School.
One of Frey's solo songs, "The Heat Is On" was featured in the "Beverly Hills Cop" movies. So in a way...a very small way???...we starred in a movie together.
*****
American Pie singer Don McLean was arrested for domestic violence at his home in Maine.
- Apparently he got ticked off when he drove his Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry.
- He's expected to get 30 days in jail...which is exactly how long it takes to listen to "American Pie" one time.
*****
According to the "Treasury Ministry", ISIS has cut terrorist fighters salaries in half due to "exceptional circumstances".
- They've also cut the "Retirement Package" meaning instead of 72 Virgins waiting in the afterlife, they only get 30.
- With the pay cut a lot of terrorists are having to get a second job to afford suicide vests for their kids.
*****
A town here in Michigan is selling gas for just 78 cents a gallon.
- That makes it a cheaper and safer alternative to the drinking water.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
Click here to download Podcast
Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #183. Today Jackie and I continue our tribute to Gene Taylor - the longtime producer and writer for my morning show - as we mark the 15th Anniversary of his untimely and tragic death. Join us as we play more cuts that Gene wrote and/or performed on including The Ladies of Harley, Johnny Carson and Bill & Hillary Clinton.
We also include some info on this year's Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon coming up on Friday, Feb. 26th and broadcast on WJR 760AM!
We hope you'll tune in to the Podcast this weekend... and donate at the end of February!
See you back here Monday!
-Dick
Congrats to Piston Great "Big Ben" Wallace, whose #3 Jersey will be retired and sent to the rafters before Saturday night's game!
- It'll be the first retirement ceremony at the Palace since the Piston's retired Dennis Rodman's Wedding Dress back in 2011.
*****
Five people won last night's Powerball Jackpot.
- And bets are everyone of them will use the money to quit their job, take a trip to Disney World and hire security to protect them from friends and relatives.
*****
With Bernie Sanders polling higher in Iowa, some of Hillary Clinton's aides say they are suffering from "2008 PTSD".
- Meanwhile, Bill's aides claim he's suffering from STD's.
*****
A study published in the journal Biology Letters suggests that dogs can read human emotions.
- So can Cats, but THEY don't give a rats patoot how you're feeling.
*****
A new survey found that 1 in 10 Americans would star in a porn movie for a million bucks.
- The same survey found that 10 in 10 Kardashians would do it for free... They'd be better off doing a remake of the classic film "Rear Window".
*****
The cast of "Friends" is reuniting for a 2-hour NBC special that will honor the show's director James Burrows.
- In other showbiz news... Hollywood is planning a new Buddy movie starring Sean Penn and El Chapo.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick
Last night, Governor Snyder activated the National Guard to help hand out safe drinking water to the people in Flint.
- This has been going on for some time...so it's about time he decided to get the lead out.
*****
Donald Trump called last night's State of the Union address "really boring, slow & lethargic".
- He said the exact same thing last week about Jeb Bush.
*****
After 21 years, the St. Louis Rams are headed back to Los Angeles.
- That's all well and good, but most likely the Lions still have no chance of going to the Super Bowl anytime soon.
*****
Police in Ohio sent their thanks to a wanted man who was captured after sending them a selife to replace his mugshot which he said was "terrible".
- The man used a Selfie-Stick to snap the pic which will be replaced by a Selfie-Shank when he gets to prison.
*****
According to a new report, Bill and Hillary Clinton did not give Donald Trump a gift for his 2005 wedding to wife Melania.
- Looks like things are about to get nasty on the campaign trail.
*****
A cologne inspired by Vladimir Putin has become a top seller in Moscow...with creators saying it has a "warm, inviting & unifying" scent...
- ...With "Invasive & Communist undertones".
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
President Obama will give his final State of the Union Address tonight.
- Bernie Sanders says he won't be tuning in...because but at 74, he'll watch a re-run of "Matlock" and be in bed by 8:30.
*****
According to a new report, Jeb Bush accidentally let the copyright lapse on his campaign moniker, "Jeb!".
- In a related story, Bill Clinton forgot to renew the copyright on his moniker, "Hot Chicks!".
*****
Groundbreaking rocker David Bowie has died at the age of 69.
- There will be two viewings. One with him dressed as a man, and the other as a woman.
*****
Mick Jagger's ex - 59 year old Jerry Hall has announced her engagement to 84 year old media mogul Rupert Murdoch.
- If she thought she couldn't "Get No Satisfaction" from Mick...just wait until her wedding night this time.
*****
A new App called "I'm Not Sorry" is designed to alert women when they use the word "sorry" in texts and emails - claiming apologizing makes women appear weak.
- In political circles, it's known as the "HillaryOnBenghazi" App. (Sorry)
*****
Prince William and Kate Middleton's son Prince George attended his first day of Pre-School last week.
- His teacher said he didn't get any special treatment and when it came time for a Potty Break, George was 3rd in line for the throne.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
No one won Saturday night's Powerball Jackpot...so the drawing on Wednesday will be worth $1.3 BILLION.
- I don't usually play the Lotto, but with the stock market tanking, I'm in!
- Jeb Bush's campaign is reportedly buying up tickets in the hopes of financing his campaign.
*****
A study by Terminix named Detroit as the most bed bug-infested city in the country.
- We're #1! We're #1!
*****
The Playboy Mansion is up for sale for $200 Million...but there's a catch. The new owner has to let Hugh Hefner live there until he dies.
- Hef is 89 years old so chances are good he'll be gone by the time the mortgage is approved.
*****
An audience member jumped on stage during the people's "People's Choice Awards", grabbed the mic and sent a "shout out" to his favorite rapper.
- It was disruptive, but Kanye West still has the greatest award interruption video of all time.
*****
A new App claims it can decode the crying sounds of babies and determine what issue parents need to address.
- Critics are skeptical, saying it doesn't pass the smell test.
*****
A new "Jihadi University" video shows weapons experts training terrorists.
- A lot of teens are dying to get accepted.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
Click here to download Podcast
First of all, I want to thank you for the overwhelming response to yesterday's post about Gene Taylor. I know Gene is looking down on us all, straightening his bow tie, and smiling.
Today we present a special hour-long Tribute Podcast all about our late, great friend with special guest Joe Noune, the "Purtan's Person" who probably knew Gene the longest, aside from myself. Join us as we reminisce, share behind the scenes stories, and play some of Gene's most memorable bits from my radio show. From "The Bagman" to a wrong number that Gene ad-libbed into a comedic classic, it's all here.
Enjoy.
Have a great weekend and I'll see you Monday!
-Dick
It was 15 years ago yesterday that Gene Taylor died while on a hayride with his wife Helen on a cold night in Upper Michigan. He had an asthma attack and his inhaler did not work. As most of you know, Gene was the Producer and Writer on my show, having written some of the funniest routines we ever did.
I met Gene in 1965 when I was doing the 10pm to 1am show on WKNR Keener 13. One night I mentioned on the air that I was hungry. Soon after there came a knock on the back door of the radio station by a young man holding two coney island hot dogs in his hand.
That young man was a Senior in High School named Gene Taylor.
Gene would occasionally come up to the radio station when I took over the Morning Show a couple of weeks later. For about a year, I didn't know Gene was funny! Then one day he presented me with a couple of scripts he had written for some of the characters that were part of my show at the time...and I realized that he was an exceptional talent.
That began a relationship that lasted off and on for 35 years until his untimely death on that cold winter night at the age of 53.
Later today, I'll be recording a special Tribute Podcast to Gene, which will be up right here tomorrow.
May you continue to Rest In Peace my good friend.
-Dick
President Obama announced Executive Action on Gun Control that would impose stiffer background checks on the mentally unstable.
- Apparently he doesn't want the ladies on "The View" packing' heat.
*****
North Korea is claiming that it has successfully detonated it's first Hydrogen Bomb.
- Sounds like Kim Jong Un has been playing with that 'Lil Scientist Kit he got for Christmas.
*****
Hillary Clinton told a New Hampshire audience that her New Year's Resolution is to ignore Donald Trump.
- As opposed to last year's Resolution which was to ignore the whole email thing.
*****
Military experts believe the new "Jihadi John" featured in the ISIS recruiting videos used to sell bouncy castles for kid's parties.
- When the head of ISIS heard about this...he immediately blew up all the bouncy castles in Iraq.
*****
Caitlyn Jenner told Advocate magazine that "there's more to being a woman than hair and make-up" and that she missed a lot.
- For instance instead of going through menopause, she paused being a man.
*****
Mike Tyson has announced that he might go Vegan.
- I'll bet when he finds out the only ears he can bite into are corn, he'll change his mind.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
In an interview with the Today Show, the new Miss Universe said Steve Harvey should return to host next year's pageant.
- Meanwhile Miss Colombia said he should be the new host of "The Biggest Loser".
*****
The World's 5 Richest People lost a combined total of $8.7 Billion dollars during yesterday's stock market sell off including Amazon founder Jeff Bezos who's fortune took a $3.7 Billion hit.
- Luckily he just renewed his membership to Amazon Prime!
*****
Multiple reports say that Bill Cosby's wife Camille is going to turn against her husband "Dr. Huxtable", when he appears in court on sexual assault charges.
- She always wanted to be married to a doctor, but it turns out he's more of a Pharmacist.
*****
Madonna's son, Rocco, has reportedly blocked her from viewing his Instagram page.
- Call me crazy...but shouldn't it be the other way around???
*****
Donald Trump is reportedly spending $2 Million a week on new TV ads leading up to the Iowa primaries.
- While Jeb Bush is spending $3 Million a week on anti-depressants.
*****
Anne Hathaway posted a bikini pic that shows her sporting a massive baby bump. They're saying the baby could weigh up to 7 pounds.
- Throw in Anne's weight and they're tipping the scales at almost 35 pounds!
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
The Detroit News and Freep are reporting that Lion's coach Jim Caldwell will survive for another year because the team ended with a 7-9 record after starting the season at 1-7.
- The decision will ultimately be made by the team's new 90 year old owner, Martha Firestone Ford, but not until she finishes her Bingo Tournament later this week.
*****
Bernie Sanders says that he doesn't think Bill Clinton's sex life should be brought up during the Presidential campaign.
- While most Americans are just hoping Bernie Sanders sex life won't be brought up during the Presidential campaign.
*****
Sources say that Don Lemon was drunk during CNN's New Year's Eve Broadcast.
- Anderson Cooper should have been the one tanked so he could make it through his stint with the always obnoxious Kathy Griffin.
*****
According to a new survey, the most common New Year's Resolution posted on Facebook was to lose weight.
- Personally, I'd rather have people keep eating and resolve to stop posting cute cat videos.
*****
Republican Presidential hopeful Chris Christie called President Obama "a petulant child".
- A White House spokesperson responded, "Is not!" to which Christie replied, "Is too!"
*****
Bill Cosby is out on $1 million dollars bail after being officially charged in his sex scandal.
- Luckily, with his $400 million fortune, the bail hasn't cut into his wine and pill budget.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
I hope that this past year was a good one for you and yours... and wish you all Health, Happiness, and Peace in 2016.
No matter how you're celebrating (I'll be watching the Spartans take on Alabama in the Cotton Bowl - Hopefully the only Ball that will drop will be the one in Time's Square!) be Safe and I'll see you next year!
-Dick
From the entire Purtan Family (all 21 of us!) to You and Yours... Merry Christmas!
-Dick
Donald Trump got an important endorsement today: Vladimir Putin called him a "very talented and outstanding man".
- We can only hope this doesn't give The Donald any ideas about going horseback riding without a shirt.
*****
A Federal investigation determined that some of Hillary Clinton's emails were "Top Secret" and could have fallen into the wrong hands.
- They also determined that ALL of Bill's emails were "Top Secret" and could have fallen into the wrong hands... Hillary's.
*****
Starbucks is no longer selling their Polar Bear Cookies because some customers complained that the red frosting scarf looked like a serious neck wound.
- The move is being praised by PETC... People for the Ethical Treatment of Cookies.
- To show how PC they are, Starbucks will now sell transgender Frosty the Snowman cookies. They're easy to spot because the carrot isn't used for his nose.
*****
A company on Amazon has started selling Star Wars themed condoms.
- They'll be purchased by men who haven't had sex since "A Long Time Ago...In A Galaxy Far Far Away".
- They aren't really necessary...When it comes to romance, most Star Wars fans are more "Han Solo".
*****
Michael Jackson's classic LP "Thriller" has become the first album in history to sell over 30 million copies.
- Interestingly, Michael's achievement was predicted years ago by Nostril-damus.
*****
Google has announced that the most searched topic of 2015 was Lamar Odom.
- And for people over 50 it was a tie between Best Cholesterol & Incontinence Medicines.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with our all new Christmas Podcast!
-Dick
Early reviews for "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" vary, calling it everything from "chaotic...full of crazy, out-out-of-this-world characters" to "low energy...a real snoozefest".
- No wait... Those were the reviews of last night's Presidential Debate.
*****
Donald Trump's doctor released a statement saying The Donald's health is "astonishingly excellent" and that he would be the healthiest man ever elected President.
- Bill Clinton would have been the healthiest President ever elected if it hadn't been for all that penicillin he was on.
*****
A British study found that getting too much sleep can be dangerous.
- Especially if you're sleeping over at Bill Cosby's house.
*****
Speaking of "Dr. Huxtable"... Bill Cosby has filed a defamation suit against the women accusing him of sexual assault.
- He claims the accusations have hurt his reputation...and are making it really tough to get women to agree to come to his hotel room for a glass of wine.
*****
The Jehovah's Witnesses have put their New York headquarters up for sale for $1 Billion.
- Instead of using a Real Estate Agent, their going door-to-door looking for a buyer.
*****
Denver broke a one-day record snowfall record set in 1897 Tuesday when the city was blanketed in 7.7 inches of snow.
- People were upset because they thought the snow was freezing the marijuana plants in their backyards.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
The woman who won a record $2 Million at a slot machine at Greektown Casino Sunday night says she will spend the money on a new dress and a trip to Disney World.
- Which works out perfectly. If she spends $100 on a dress, she'll have just enough left for that trip to Disney.
******
Merriam Webster Dictionary has named "ism" as the word of the year after a big increase in online look-ups for the definition of "Terrorism".
- And most of those came from the Obama administration.
******
Taylor Swift has applied for a trademark on the word "Swiftmas".
- She's also filed for trademarks on the words "Break-Up", "It's Over" & "Dumped".
*****
The MLB has refused to overturn Pete Rose's lifetime ban from the game. They say that Rose has continued to bet on sports - including baseball - throughout his appeals process.
- What are the odds?
*****
A Market Research Survey found that bra sales have fallen by 3% in 2015.
- If you think the bra sales are sagging...you should see the boobs.
*****
After 65 years with NBC, weatherman Willard Scott is retiring at the age of 81.
- If he'd just stayed 19 more years he could have presented himself with a jar of Smuckers.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick