Decatha-Lingerie!

The newly debuted "Caitlyn" Jenner set a new Twitter record by getting one million Twitter followers in just 4 hours and 3 minutes Monday.  

Meanwhile, over 10 million tweets were written about "Caitlyn's" step-daughter Kim Kardashian's announcement that she and Kanye are expecting baby #2. 

- The most exciting part to me is that Caitlyn's gonna be a Grandma! 

- I'll be honest...and this point I'm finding it really hard to "Keep Up With The Kardashians". 

 ****

Google is teaming up with Levi's to make computerized pants that would work like a touch screen phone. 

- Let's hope the camera faces out. 

- So now you'll be able to butt-dial your friends intentionally. 

- These pants are perfect for people who are too lazy to take the Smartphone out of their pocket to make a call.  

*****

A new survey found that 53% of college graduates admitted to stealing stories about their friends and claiming they happened to them. 

- It's called the "Brian Williams Effect". 

*****

Wall Street analysts say that Disney's profits are going to spike by 50% in the next three years. 

- Which in laymen's terms mean you'll soon be paying 50% more to take a spin on "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride". 

- At this point, Disney is going to have to add an Eighth Dwarf: Greedy. 

*****

A Virginia high school teacher was suspended for showing students pictures of her new boob job. 

- In her defense, it was "Show and Tell" day. 

- Nothing's fair in life...She gets fired for showing off her new boobs, and Caitlyn Jenner lands the cover of Vanity Fair. 

*****

Producers of "Britain's Got Talent" and the dog trainer who won the competition are coming under fire after a doggie "double" was used to perform a tightrope-walking sequence in Sunday night's live finale.

- Still, the performance was Spot On! 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #162: "Now THAT'S A Mouthful!"

Click here to download Podcast 

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #162! This week my wife Gail, Jackie and I sit down for a discussion of the "F-word"... and that word is "Food". On the menu: 

- Snack items we always make sure to have on hand at our house. 

- Do raisins have tiny little hairs? (We do an experiment to find out).

- The 5 letter word that seems to be the key if you want to live to be 100. 

- What are "Nonpareils" anyway?

- And some Dairy Queen treats...including my favorite Berry Pomegranate Smoothie. It's no Peanut Buster Parfait...but (I Hope!) it's a little bit healthier. 

So grab your favorite snack and get a taste of Podcast #162!  (It's fat and calorie free!) 

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog.

-Dick

Deja Vu All Over Again!

In an interview with the UK's Daily Mail, Paula Jones - yes, THAT Paula Jones - said: "Don't let Bill back in the White House". 

- Bill responded by saying "Paula should keep her nose out of my business". 

*****

Taylor Swift became the youngest woman to ever make the Forbes List of the World's Most Powerful Women. 

- In a related story, Forbes named Bruce Jenner "The World's NEWEST Woman". 

*****

A Kenyan lawyer is offering President Obama 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats if he can marry the Prez's daughter Malia. 

- The President declined, but said for just two goats he'd be willing to give the guy Joe Biden. 

*****

A Gallup survey found that 32.2% of the people in Mississippi are obese, making it the most obese state in the Nation. 

- That because all the food in Mississippi is M-I-S-S...I-S-S...I-P-P-FRIED.

- Alabama has demanded a recount. 

*****

According to a new study, drinking more than five espressos a day may be damaging to your health. 

- And you'll be awake all night worrying about it. 

*****

A Brazilian man was caught on video having sex with the tail pipe of his car. 

- At least he didn't do it while the car was running. 

- Kind of makes the usual "backseat" thing sound pretty tame. 

*****

"San Andreas" the new movie about a massive earthquake that decimates California opens nationwide tomorrow. One reviewer called it  "A Feel-Good Disaster Movie". 

- So if you're planning on seeing just one Feel-Good Disaster Movie this summer...make sure it's this one!

- This is the same guy who called "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" "A bloodbath horror flick with a heart!"

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with a brand new Podcast! 

-Dick

Hillary Will Sell You The Shirt Off Her Back...

Hillary Clinton has launched an online apparel shop that sells clothing with her campaign logo on it. So far the top seller is a tee shirt that looks like a pantsuit. 

- And just like Bill, the t-shirt doesn't come with pants. 

*****

Psychologists say that many people who consistently post "happy" pics and status updates about their romantic life are actually insecure, and want the world to know that their partner is "taken". 

- And people who consistently post pictures of their cats inadvertently let the world know that they haven't had a romantic relationship since the mid '80's. 

*****

Taco Bell and Pizza Hut announced that they're getting rid of the artificial ingredients in their foods. 

- So basically their menus will now consist of "Bottled Water". 

*****

Malaysian Airlines announced that they'll be changing their name next week. 

- They we're going to do it this week, but the piece of paper with the new name on it disappeared. 

- CNN will have live coverage of the name change announcement. 24 hours a day. For the next six months. 

*****

Art Garfunkel told an interviewer that Paul Simon "was a jerk" for splitting up the duo at the height of their popularity. 

- Apparently Art hasn't quite crossed that Bridge over Troubled Water. 

- He said he became suspicious when he saw "Paul and Julio down by the school yard". 

- He said he should have known when Paul wanted to call one of their hits, "50 Ways To Leave Your Duo". 

*****

The Olsen twins announced that they will NOT star in the updated version of "Full House" called "Fuller House". 

- I know...I'm crying too. 

*****

Tom Brady's appeal of his four game suspension has been postponed to give him more time to prepare. 

- Between practice, being married to Giselle Bundchen and this legal stuff, Tom's got a lot of balls in the air. They're under inflated, but they're in the air. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Intelligence In "Jeopardy"?

A contestant brought the house down during "Final Jeopardy" last night. When given the "Answer": "A Christian Hymn and Jewish Holiday Hymn are both titled this, also the name of a 2009 Tony nominated musical", instead of coming up with the correct response, "Rock of Ages", he wrote down "What is Kinky Boots?"  "Kinky Boots" is a Broadway musical written by Cyndi Lauper about a shoemaker and a drag queen. 

- This proves I ain't as dumb as I think i are!

*****

In a new interview, Pope Francis admits that he hasn't watched TV since 1990, thinks people care too much about their pets, and likes being around people so much that he would "make a lousy monk". 

- Is it just me or does in sound like that would be the Pope's online dating profile? 

*****

A new study says that drinking coffee may help prevent erectile dysfunction. 

- So if the lines are extra long at Starbucks today, now you know why. 

- This is not what I thought they meant when they said too much coffee can keep you up all night. 

- No wonder Mrs. Folger was always smiling. 

*****

Scientists in Kenya found a set of stone tools dating back 3.3 million years. 

- They were found inside the ruins of building with a sign reading "Cave Depot". 

*****

The Rolling Stones kicked off yet another summer tour in San Diego over the weekend. 

- It's being billed as the "Lipi-Tour". 

- The concert was over by 8pm because most of the audience members aren't allowed to drive after dark.  

*****

Chelsea Clinton has been given a $1 Million dollar advance to write a children's book. 

- Hillary wrote her the nicest "Congratulations" email! Or so we're told. We won't be able to read it until 2016. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow...Wednesday!

-Dick

Memorial Day 2015

For a dozen years following the attacks on 9/11, as we approached Memorial Day, I would read a poem on the air called "The Inscription". 

It was sent to me by an Ohio listener named Paul Reside and was written by Paul's Grandmother, Annabelle Gunnett Jones, who composed it in 1932. 

Annabelle was inspired to write the poem by her husband, a World War I Veteran, as a tribute to the Unknown Soldier, and was published by the Perry County Ohio newspaper on what was then called "Decoration Day". 

On this Memorial Day, as we remember those who have given their lives in the cause of Freedom, I hope you will enjoy my reading of the poem from the radio show, which you can hear by clicking on the link below. 

“The Inscription” by Annabelle Gunnett Jones  (1:52)

I hope you are enjoying a safe and happy Memorial Day Weekend. God Bless America!

-Dick 

P.S. Here are three songs that I find appropriate to play today… 

Stars and Stripes Forever

Whitney Houston - Star Spangled Banner

Ray Charles - America The Beautiful 

Purtan Podcast #161: "Goodbye Dave... Hello Summer!"

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to Memorial Day Weekend and Podcast #161. Join Jackie and me as we usher in the unofficial start of summer with a conversation including:

- David Letterman's last show and the real reasons he retired.

- The person who was the true inspiration for Letterman's style (and it wasn't Johnny Carson).

- Why Letterman didn't get the "Tonight Show" and why Leno did. 

- The night that Letterman lost the ratings war to Leno, when Jay asked a celeb a game-changing 4 word question.  

- The time that Jackie's ex was convinced that Letterman was hitting on her when they went to a taping of the show.  

- My favorite cable channels on TV.

- My favorite American Flag to fly on Memorial Day and what it once flew over. 

And finally...

- My memories as a kid of Memorial Day parades in my hometown passing right in front of my house.

So take some time out of your long weekend for a short listen to Podcast #161! (31:26)

And don't forget to Remember what Memorial Day is really all about... Honoring the brave men and women who gave their lives so that we could live ours in Freedom. 

Have a great, safe weekend! 

-Dick 

"The LAST Show With David Letterman"

Today's the day... After 30 years, David Letterman will host his last "Late Show" tonight. No word on who his final guests will be, but some TV critics are hoping that long time rival Jay Leno will make an appearance. 

-  I'm pretty sure we can all come up with a "Top Ten List" of reasons THAT'S not gonna happen.

(My new Podcast...going up this weekend...will delve into the whole Leno/Letterman controversy with special guest Tom DeLisle, who worked on the "Tonight Show".)

*****

President Obama got his own Twitter account yesterday. 

- Now I won't have to look up his golf scores on the internet! 

*****

A new study determined that boys who smoke marijuana before puberty grow up to be 4 inches shorter than boys who don't. 

- So I guess we know what Kim Jong Un was doing during recess at Elementary school. (Aside from shooting toy missiles at fellow classmates). 

*****

Apple is denying rumors that it has plans to make a hi-def TV. 

- Apparently somebody at Apple figured out that strapping a 65 inch TV on your wrist would be a little cumbersome. 

*****

Rumer Willis took home the Mirrored Ball Trophy on "Dancing With the Stars" last night, bringing her parents Bruce Willis and Demi Moore to tears. 

- Bruce was crying about his daughter winning...Demi was still crying about getting dumped by Ashton Kutcher. 

*****

Disney World is banning "Selfie Sticks" that allow you to hold the camera farther away from yourself from all the rides at their park. 

- With the exception of "Mickey's Magical Super Duper Selfie Stick" available at kiosks around the park for just $59.99!

*****

A West Virginia school teacher has come under fire for allowing her high school class to watch "Fifty Shades of Grey" as a reward for good behavior. She claims she had no idea what the movie was about. 

- They knew she was lying when her face turned Fifty Shades of Red. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

"Man...Do I Look HOT!"

A survey found that men check themselves out in mirrors 23 times a day, compared to just 16 times for women. 

- So if my math is right, Bruce Jenner will look in the mirror 19.5 times today. 

*****

Michelle Obama revealed that Secret Service agents recently taught 16 year old Malia Obama how to drive. 

- The agents said she's such a good driver, they didn't even spill their drinks! 

*****

Saudi Arabia announced that they are looking to hire eight "sword executioners". 

- They'll be assigned to the Saudi HR Department. 

*****

"The Who" guitarist and song-writer Pete Townshend turns the big 7-O today. 

- He celebrating with a new album featuring the songs, "Who are you? And What Are You Doing On My Lawn?", "The Grandkids Are Alright",  "I Can't See For Miles Anymore", and "My Generation...Now Smokes Pot For Medical Reasons".  

*****

Gwyneth Paltrow told Women's Health magazine that her sex life is the reason she looks so healthy. 

- And people who have sex with Madonna look healthy because of Antibiotics. 

*****

Ireland is considering legalizing same sex marriages. 

- Let's face it...as long as there's an open bar, they don't care whose gettin' married. 

*****

The entire graduate class at USC's art school has dropped out in protest of faculty changes. 

- But if those kids don't get their Art Degree how are they possibly going to support themselves??? 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

Pharaoh Rules!

American Pharaoh won the Preakness and is now one win away from horse racing's Triple Crown - something that hasn't happened in almost 40 years. 

- Pharaoh stands a better chance of being crowned than Prince Charles does. 

*****

A group of US Commandos killed a senior ISIS leader and captured his wife Saturday night. 

- She's just glad that she'll finally be allowed to watch "The Real Cave-wives of Islamabad". 

***** 

Federal authorities say a cyber-hacker was able to take control of commercial jets on 15 different occasions by hacking into their in-flight entertainment systems. 

- Meanwhile I still can't figure out how to send an email without calling one of my daughters. 

*****

Bill Cosby gave a bizarre interview to "Nightline" on Saturday night during which he babbled incoherently. 

- Sounds like somebody accidentally grabbed the wrong drink off the table. 

*****

A study by BeUnique.com found that teenage girls spend 5 hours a week taking selfies. 

- They spend the other 163 hours of the week tweeting and posting the pics on Instagram. 

*****

Taylor Swift was the big winner at last night's Billboard Music Awards, taking home 8 trophies. 

- And three new boyfriends. 

Meanwhile Kanye West baffled the audience by performing a medley of his hits with so many pyrotechnics that you 1) could barely see him and 2) censors bleeped out so many of the lyrics you could barely hear him. 

- So all in all, it was a great performance. 

*****

Vladimir Putin scored eight goals during an ice hockey exhibition on Saturday. 

- What makes it really impressive is that he did it shirtless, while riding a horse. 

*****

A Nigerian restaurant was closed down for serving human flesh. 

- So next time you're at a restaurant in Nigeria and they offer a hamburger made from "Ground Chuck"... take them at their word. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #160: "Jackie Almost Gives Me An 'Art' Attack"

Click here to download Podcast 

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #160... In my latest audio offering I welcome Daughter #1 Jennifer to the table along with my regular Podcasting Partner in Crime, Jackie (aka Daughter #2) Topics include: 

- Kim Jong Un and his unique way of "retiring" his Military Advisors. 

- If you need hearing aids...the BEST reason to wear them. 

- Tom Brady: Guilty or Not? 

- The newly named Gordie Howe Memorial Bridge. 

- Why we're not supposed to wash raw chicken or turkey anymore. 

- I prove once again that I am a technical moron. 

- CBS canceling "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" after 11 seasons, the genius "behind the scenes" of that show, and how he kept the overworked stars happy. 

- Plus...Jackie's piece of "Sculpture" (and I use that term loosely) that she made in elementary school and why it's still in our curio cabinet. 

So give in to your curio-osity and tune in to Podcast #160!  (49:57)

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog! 

-Dick 

Kim Jong Un-Believable!

Kim Jong Un is at it again... He ordered the North Korean Defense Minister killed with an anti-aircraft missile. Why? Because the man fell asleep while Kim was speaking at a meeting. 

- He picked up this idea from the Radio business, where when you fall asleep during company meetings, they threaten to Fire you - but not Fire AT you. Kim just took it a step further. 

*****

President Obama announced that his Presidential Library will be located in the South Side of Chicago. 

- "But if you go down there, you better just beware, of a man named LeRoy Brown". 

- The Library is expected to attract thousands of visitors...but still not as many as the "Adult Section" of the Bill Clinton Presidential Library in Arkansas. 

*****

Starbucks announced that they're going to be selling mini Frappuccinos between now and July 6th. 

- It's perfect for people who want to cut down on Caffeine but still spend a ridiculous amount of money. 

- Is it just me or does "Mini Frappuccino" sound like a short, Italian rapper? 

*****

Lindsay Lohan failed to show up at a Brooklyn Children's Center where she was scheduled to fufill her community service. 

- So now the little kids are going to have to figure out how to spike their juice boxes all by themselves. 

*****

Google has admitted that four of their computerized "self-driving" cars have crashed in the past 9 months. 

- Thus breaking the previous record held by Billy Joel. 

*****

Kanye West received an honorary PhD from the Art Institute of Chicago.

- His wife Kim Kardashian was so proud saying "OMG! Now we have a Doctor in the house in case there are any...like...medical emergencies!"

*****

A study by the New York Post says the average lifespan of a New Yorker increased to 81 years while Michael Bloomberg was the Mayor of NYC. 

- Hey...If you can make it to 81 there, you can make it to 81 anywhere!

*****

A 33 year old Oklahoma man pleaded guilty to killing his step-father by giving him an "Atomic Wedgie" during a family fight. He pulled the man's underwear up so high, the waistband went around his neck and suffocated him. 

- I'm sure he'll be enjoying a few atomic wedgies of his own when the guys in prison find out what he's in for. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

Look Closely... It's NOT ME... I SWEAR!

79 year old Burt Reynolds made a rare public appearance at Comic Con in Philadelphia over the weekend and told fans that despite all the rumors - he is not broke.  

- He was there to "Boost" his career...and also drink some "Boost".

*****

Tom Brady says he'll appeal the 4-Game suspension handed down by the NFL in the wake of "DeflateGate". 

- If that were me, I'd just take those days off and complete some passes with his wife Giselle Bunchen. 

*****

Sources out of North Korea claim that Kim Jong Un's aunt didn't die from a stroke as he claimed, but that he actually had her poisoned after she yelled at him for executing her husband, Kim's uncle. 

- Oh well...what family doesn't occasionally have it's ups and downs? 

*****

Fox announced that they're canceling American Idol after next season. 

- So if you want to hear bad, off key singing, you're going to have to go back to listening to yourself in the shower. 

- How do we say goodbye to the show that gave us William Hung???

*****

A new survey found that 40% of American moms did not enjoy Mother's Day last Sunday. 

- The other 60% didn't respond to the survey because they were still doing the dishes. 

- But on the bright side, Bruce Jenner said he had the best brunch ever! 

*****

Kim Kardashian says she posed nude for a photo shoot to show that she's comfortable with her psoriasis. 

- As opposed to last week when she posed nude just because. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

"Lookin' For Love In All The Wrong Bunkers..."

Prince Harry admitted that the birth of his new niece, Princess Charlotte, makes him wish he had someone special is his life to marry and have children with. 

- So ladies, if you're single, the "Eva Braun" type and like a man in a Nazi uniform, give him a call! 

*****

A Yahoo News survey found that 58% of Americans want New England Patriot's QB Tom Brady suspended for his role in "DeflateGate". 

- The other 42% think the whole thing is just a lot of hot air. (Bada boom!) 

*****

The University of California at San Diego is coming under fire for a Performance Art Class that requires students to take their final exams while completely naked. 

- Well where are they gonna hide their cheat sheets? 

- Appparently the teacher believes in grading female students "On a Curves". 

*****

Natalie Portman will play Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in an upcoming movie. 

- Proving that not only is Justice "Blind"... but so are casting directors. 

*****

JetBlue airlines announced that they will now offer service to and from Cuba. 

- And just to make passengers feel at home, the planes' emergency chutes will be shaped like '57 Chevys. 

*****

P. Diddy has launched a new fragrance called 3AM. 

- Apparently he's been having prostate issues and named the cologne after the time "Diddy is usually up trying to P".

*****

North Korea is claiming that they successfully test fired a ballistic missile from a submarine yesterday. 

- And Brian Williams claims he was almost hit by it. 

*****

Monica Lewinsky turned down a $1 Million offer for the blue dress she wore during her encounter with President Clinton. 

- I guess if Hillary really wants that thing to disappear she's going to have to come up with a lot more cash. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see back here Tuesday!

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #159: "The Mother of All Podcasts"

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to Mother's Day Weekend and Podcast #159. Today Jackie (daughter #2) and I welcome daughter #4 (JoAnne) to the Family dining room table for a fast, fun discussion of topics including: 

- The latest flurry of texts the girls were getting WHILE we were recording the Podcast. 

- How some Movie Musicals and Plays are great...until they start Singing. 

- A medley by Jackie & JoAnne of one of the big hits from West Side Story. 

- The frustration of watching "Jeopardy". 

- JoAnne gets a plug in for her new daily TV news show on Channel 7 called "The Now". 

And finally...

-We're not sure, but we think Wallside Windows is having a sale! 

It's all in Podcast #159! And remember, as the song that I used to play on the radio goes... "If It Wasn't For Your Father, Would Your Mother be Your Mother? So Remember Dad on Mother's Day!"

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here on Monday with my regular blog. 

-Dick

"NOT Keeping Up With The Kardashians!"

A new app called "Kardblock" will remove any mention of the Kardashians from the websites you visit. The company's next app will filter out any mention of Justin Bieber. 

- So if you want to keep up with Justin, you'll just have to get yourself a good old fashioned Police Scanner. 

*****

President Obama told David Letterman that he plans to spend his retirement golfing all day and playing dominoes. 

- He wanted to say "Ordering Domino's" but was afraid Michelle would kick his butt. 

*****

Scientists have used reverse aging software on the image of Jesus's face from the Shroud of Turin to show what he would have looked like as a 12 year old boy. 

- But they admitted they went too far when they put him in a "Jerusalem Jets"' Soccer Jersey.

***** 

TLC debuts a new game show called "Labor Games" tonight during which women IN LABOR at the hospital, along with their husbands, have to answer trivia questions about child-rearing to win prizes. 

- It's kind of like "The Price Is Right" especially when the announcer tells the baby to "Come On OUT!"

*****

Yahoo news is reporting that the latest fashion trend is for women to dye their underarm hair bright colors and wear it as an accessory. 

- French women have been doing this for years...just without the dyeing part. 

- Attention ladies: It's time to upload some new photos to your online dating profile! 

*****

Tiger Woods says he "hasn't slept" since Olympic Skier Lindsay Vaughn broke up with him. 

- Just to clarify... He's SLEPT with a lot of women...he just hasn't actually gone to sleep. 

*****

A French man is being investigated for assaulting two women he met on a dating site devoted to people with urination fetishes. 

- The site is called "Christian Tinkle". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

Cinco de Mayo!

It's Cinco de Mayo which can only mean one thing! Tomorrow is May 6th! 

Meanwhile a Facebook survey found that 48% of Americans plan on drinking today to celebrate Mexico's unlikely victory over France in the Battle of Puebla. 

- 78% of Mexicans say they won't have time to drink as they'll be too busy sneaking into America.

*****

A video has gone viral of President Obama fist-bumping what appeared to be a 4 year old boy before boarding Marine One yesterday. 

- We're checking a rumor that  the "4 year old boy" was actually Kim Jong Un, who was on a sight-seeing tour of D.C. with Dennis Rodman. 

*****

A company in China is building a manufacturing plant that will be run solely by 1000 robots. 

- Translation: 1000 Kindergarteners are about to lose their jobs. 

*****

In Melissa Rivers' new book about her mother Joan, Melissa says that her mom had a lifelong obsession with death and had 348 plastic surgeries including countless facelifts.

- This explains why Joan referred to Michael Jackson as "an amateur". 

*****

The E! Network is airing a 2-hour special about the Kardashian's response to Bruce Jenner's "transisition" to womanhood. 

- They're all just ticked off that this year they have to buy TWO Mother's Day gifts. 

*****

Olympic Skier Lindsey Vonn announced that she and boyfriend Tiger Woods have split. 

- So now she'll have more time to spend on the slopes, and he'll have more time to play "a round". 

*****

A Texas councilman forgot to turn off his microphone while visiting the men's room, thus broadcasting his brief visit to the john to an entire room full of people holding a council meeting.  

- Meantime the Council slapped him with a fine for violating the noise ordinance. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick

Charlotte's on the Web!

It's Official! Prince William and Kate Middleton have announced that the name of their new baby girl born on Saturday is: Charlotte Elizabeth Diana.  

- The couple was considering "North West" but another Royal couple, Kim and Kanye, beat them to it.

 - Oddsmakers in Vegas had predicted Charlotte and Alice as the favorites...but that was for Bruce Jenner. 

*****

American Pharaoh won the Kentucky Derby on Saturday by two-lengths. 

- The horse didn't seem that excited, prompting his jockey to ask "Why the long face?" (Rimshot, please). 

*****

Floyd Mayweather beat Manny Pacquiao in a unanimous decision to win the "Fight of the Century" in Las Vegas. 

- With his history of domestic violence, was anyone really surprised that Floyd knew how to land a punch? 

*****

Stars Wars fans claim today, the 4th of May is THEIR day... since "May The Force Be With You" sounds similar to "May the Fourth Be With You". 

- To paraphrase Seinfeld... Yoda, Yoda, Yoda. 

- So if your 35 year old son living in your basement seems extra excited when he comes upstairs to grab some snacks, now you know why. 

*****

Capitol Police found a loaded gun in John Boehner's office restroom on Friday. 

- Boehner vowed that when they find the culprit...he's gonna Tan his hide. Literally. 

*****

Rosie O'Donnell's estranged wife reportedly wants her to be drug tested. 

- I know one thing there not gonna find in Rosie's system: Estrogen. 

*****

RIP... Ben E. King who died Friday at the age of 76. His hit songs, some with The Drifters, are legendary and include: "Stand By Me", "Under The Boardwalk", "This Magic Moment", "Spanish Harlem", "There Goes My Baby" "Save The Last Dance For Me", and my personal favorite... "Up On The Roof". (I think that was Santa Claus's favorite too).

Have a great day and I'll you see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #158: "May Days! May Days!"

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to the first weekend of May and Podcast #158. This time around, Jackie and I are joined once again by former "Purtan's Person" and "The Glass is Half-Empty" kinda guy, Jim Ochs. Our topics include: 

-Why my not having a Smartphone seems "dumb" to some...but how my Flip-Phone comes in handy. 

- Something we've never dared talk about before: The ball on top of the Penobscot Building. 

- The latest on Bruce Jenner's transition...including what Cup Size he's going with and why. 

- The story behind Netflix launching a "Full House" reprise called "Fuller House". 

- Two Burning Questions: Was Lassie a boy or a girl in real life? And who was Rudd Weatherwax?

- The voice behind "The Grinch". 

- Some great lines from Paul Lynde & Charlie Weaver on "Hollywood Squares". 

- Why get an Apple Watch? 

- Plus....for you history fans...How Michigan ended up giving Toledo to Ohio in exchange for the U.P. 

So usher in the new Month with Podcast #158! Who knows...you MAY just like it!   (43:08)

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog! 

-Dick 

It's "National Honesty Day"... Honest!

Today is National Honesty Day!

- NBC News will mark the day by duct taping Brian Williams mouth shut. 

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While honesty is good...turns out we all tell a few "little white lies". Ranker.com did some research and came up with the Top Ten. As a public service, I'll list them here: 

1.      I'm Fine

2.      I'm 5 Minutes Away

3.      Let's Keep in Touch

4.      I Totally Forgot to Do That Thing You Asked Me to Do

5.      My Phone Died

6.      I've Been Swamped Lately

7.      I'm Busy That Day

8.      I Love It!

9.      Yeah, I'm Listening

10.  Oh Yeah, I Remember You

And then there's the one they forgot... "Sure! I'd LOVE to babysit the grandkids Saturday night!"

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Jack Ely, the lead singer of The Kingsmen, died this week at the age of 71. It's his voice that we heard on the huge hit song "Louie, Louie". 

- The song is considered a classic and is also in my humble opinion one of the worst songs ever. I probably played it on the radio 10,000 times during my career and hated it every time. 

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A plane carrying Bill Clinton had to make an emergency landing in Tanzania after one of it's four engines gave out. 

- Along with three flight attendants. 

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Twitter's stock price plummeted after it's financial earnings were leaked early on...TWITTER. 

- That, my friends, is the definition of #irony. 

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A study by Ipsos Market Research found that the majority of parents are not saving for their children's college education. 

- Instead, they're using the money to furnish their basements since that's where their kids will end up living anyway. 

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New York's Museum of Biblical Art announced it is permanently closing in June. 

- And that is the Gospel Truth. 

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A French company is allowing people to bottle the scent of a loved one so they can use it as perfume when that person dies. 

- It's called "Chanel #6... Feet Under". 

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick