The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have named their newborn son Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor.
- Archie has red hair and will attend Riverdale High.
- The baby was named for his Great Uncle - Perceval Alexander “Jughead” Jones.
Dennis Rodman has been accused of helping a female companion shoplift hundreds of dollars of workout clothes from a California Yoga Studio.
- Dennis is a regular. He’s trying to get in shape to fit in his next wedding dress.
Meat Loaf broke his collarbone after falling off the stage at an event in Texas.
- The injury forced Meatloaf to cancel his upcoming tour with the Black Eyed Peas and Bread.
A group of “Exorcist Specialists” have gathered in Rome to exchange the best practices for getting rid of demons.
- In Liberal circles the practice is known as “Impeachment”.
Norway's new Health Minister says she doesn’t want to be the "moral police", adding “I believe people should be allowed to smoke, drink and eat as much red meat they want.”
- Finally! A politician that embodies American values. Too bad she’s in Norway.
- Health Advocates said “We can’t aFjord her irresponsible policies”.
NASA is “Preparing” for a Gigantic Asteroid known as “The God of Chaos” that will come close to Earth in 2029.
- How do you “Prepare” for a Gigantic Asteroid?? Whatever you do… DON’T do what the Dinosaurs did.
On this day in 1502 Christopher Columbus left Spain on his fourth and final trip to the New World.
- Who could ever forget the rhyme we ALL learned in elementary school: “IN 1502… COLUMBUS SAILED THE OCEAN BLUE”. When my 2nd Grade teacher Mrs. Tennent corrected me, I said “So I’m off by 10 years. Big deal.” She gave me a “D”. (But she still gave me the lead role in the school play “Peter Rabbit” - True!!)
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!