Tonight at 9pm all eyes will be on the U.S. Capitol as President Biden addresses both chambers of Congress, the Supreme Court and the American Public as he delivers the annual State of the Union Speech. Pundits are expecting him to say that State of the Union between Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift… is good!

*****

Capitol Police are busy putting up a giant fence around the Capitol to make sure no protestors are able to get in and cause a disruption during tonight’s State of the Union Address.

- You know what they say about Fences… “They make Great Neighbors… Except, of course… at the Southern Border of your Country”.

*****

If you thought women were the only ones who liked to get Pedicures… think again. Basketball great Shaquille O’Neal says he regularly shells out $1000 to get his toenails done because he has, “Ugly, stinky feet”. Shaq added that he likes, “Sparkles and designs”.

- I’m not sure I needed to know that. I’m not sure you needed to know that. But now we both do. So there.

*****

A lightning strike led to the destruction of a California town’s only Post Office and shut down mail delivery.

- The Postmaster asked us to remind residents… “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds”… then added, “But notice we didn’t say DIDDLY SQUAT about lightning”.

*****

A new report says that traditional Spring Break hotspots such as California, Florida, and Texas are preparing for an influx of college students over the next two months.

- How come we get a report warning about an influx of “Spring Breakers” but not about “Illegal Migrants”???

*****

According to a new survey… a majority of Americans don’t trust car dealerships.

- But if you let them go in the back and talk to their manager for a minute… they might able to come up with a little something to make you change your mind.

*****

A heroic pilot helped deliver a baby in an airplane bathroom during a recent flight to Thailand.

- The pilot says he now plans to retire saying… “I’ve seen it all. Everything from the Mile High Club to the Birth of a Baby. My job here is done.”.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick