Hurray! Hurray! It’s the First Day of Spring!

You know what that means to us Michiganders! It’s time to start wearing our Snow Boots WITHOUT the Fur Lining!!!! 🥳

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Joe Biden’s new “boat anchor” shoes are getting a lot of attention… but the White House says the shoes, called “Hoka Transports” are designed for maximum “stability,” as the president’s falls continue to spark concern.

- In the Old Days we knew the President would Stand Up for America… Now we’re supposed to be happy if the President can just stay standing up.

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People from across the globe took to Social Media to list the “Obvious Signs that Someone is an American” when they encounter them visiting Europe. Among the “You Must Be An American…” traits: Making eye contact and smiling, being too friendly & tipping too much.

- When I was over in France… I noticed that most American tourists wore white sneakers but none of the French people wear white tennis. They carry a lot of white flags… but no white tennis shoes.

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A new survey finds that nearly half of all married Japanese couples are “sexless”… with the men saying their wives are not “open to their advances”.

- Hint to guys: She might be more receptive if you don’t sneak up on her… like you did at Pearl Harbor!

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Stop the Presses! After months of rumors and speculation regarding Daniel Craig’s successor… it appears we have our new James Bond! 33 year old British actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson has officially been offered the role.

- Now we just need to wait for him to accept… and for me to Google Aaron Taylor-Johnson and find out who the heck he is.

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Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift were spotted holding hands on a romantic tropical vacation in an undisclosed location.

- I’ll let you know where they are as soon as their reps leak the info to the press!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

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