Unknown-7.jpeg

Elizabeth Warren has apologized for the second time in a week after a State Bar of Texas registration card from 1986 emerged on which she hand-wrote her race as “American Indian”.

- Warren said “I don’t remember filling out that card. Honest Injun!”

*****

This weekend the Boy Scouts of America made history by establishing its first all-girl troop. 

- FYI: There’s already a name for an all-girl Boy Scout Troop. I believe it’s called “The Girl Scouts”. 

*****

Tired of chicken and beef? Chefs are trying to diversify their menus by using SQUIRREL MEAN in pancakes, casseroles and even lasagna.

- I’ve always loved my pancakes with nuts… preferably after the squirrel has spit them out. 

*****

The latest Health Fad??? It’s Breathing!!! According to “experts” we’ve been doing it all wrong all along and need to be taught how to do it right.  

- Call me crazy but I didn’t realize that “breathing” was a “fad”.  

*****

A lock of George Washington’s hair sold for $35,000 at an auction.

- Meanwhile a lock of President Trump’s hair was swept up off the floor by his Barber at Super Cuts.

*****

Charlie Sheen has cut $1.5 million from the price of his Beverly Hills bachelor pad. 

- This is what happens when you describe the Master Bedroom as “Previously Enjoyed”. 

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick