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26 year old Rapper Cardi B has offered to give the Democrat Rebuttal to President Trump’s State of the Union Address.

- This girl obviously has a Graduate Degree from the School of EGO-nomics.

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A three year old boy who was missing in the woods for two days says a “friendly bear” kept him safe by keeping him company while he slept.

- The boy said the Bear wasn’t Too Hard or Too Soft… He was Just Right!

- This story gives me the Warm Fozzies.

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A gay male couple has welcomed a set of twins who have the same mother but two different dads, after both men were able to fertilize a surrogate woman’s embryo during artificial insemination. Bottom line: The Twins are actually half-siblings.

- This kind of makes the whole Bruce/Kaitlyn Jenner thing seem like a walk in the park doesn’t it?

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Former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz sez he’s running for President as an Independent because both parties have shown no concern for the national debt.

- Nobody knows more about the national debt than the man who charges six bucks for a cup of coffee.

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A Florida Taco Bell was shut down after a customer walked in with a World War II grenade he’d found while out fishing.

- Usually the explosion comes after the customers have actually EATEN at Taco Bell.

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A Connecticut driver was arrested for driving while under the influence of VANILLA EXTRACT.

- He was charged with “Baking & Entering”.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

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