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Due to today’s wind chills there are a lot of local closings. Among them:

Bob’s Boob & Lube Bar and Topless Oil Change is shut down due to a frozen dip stick.

Our Lady of Perpetual Procrastination has postponed all classes until Thursday. Or maybe Friday.

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Tyson is recalling 35,000 pounds of Chicken Nuggets because they contain pieces of rubber.

- The recall only applies to Frozen Nuggets. Then again, with this weather… everybody’s Nuggets are Frozen.

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An old video of a shirtless Bernie Sanders drunkenly singing with a group of Soviets during his honeymoon in the USSR has been leaked on the internet.

- And by “leaked” they mean Hillary released it.

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Turns out that when you call someone using “FaceTime” on your iPhone, you can LISTEN IN on them… EVEN IF THEY DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE.

- At this point the only people NOT listening to anything you say are your kids.

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A study found that 7 out of 10 children spend more time online than they do with friends.

- Read all about it in the book “Charlotte’s Website”.

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PRO - a magazine for Port-a-Potty businesses says those who operate the “Johnny-on-the-Spots” can suffer from low self-esteem and anxiety.

- Experts recommend deep breathing. But not until they leave work.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

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