“The Talk” host Julie Chen is taking time off to “spend time with her family”, while her husband, the now-fired ex-Prez of CBS waits to collect his 120 mil severance.

- And by “spend time with her family” she means go over her Pre-Nup with a fine tooth comb.


Twelve years after it was demoted to Dwarf Planet status, Scientists now insist that Pluto should be reinstated as a full-fledged Planet.

- Now if we can just get scientists to insist that DTE Energy Music Theater should be reinstated as PINE KNOB!!!


The US Government is now using the “Molar Mic”… a microphone that clips to the back of a wearers teeth and works like a two-way radio.

- Finally CIA agents can do something I never managed to do: Talk on the radio and chew gum at the same time.


Amazon has banned a number of Dating Advice Books because of unspecified “offensive content”.

- So “Who Should Pay For Dinner?” is offensive… but you can still get a copy of “Fifty Shades of Grey” for $9.75. (I looked it up!)


A dermatologist claims that "Cultural Stress" - the result of trying to live up to the expectations of Social Media - causes wrinkles and can make you look 3 and a half years older than you are. 

- Luckily you can take 3 and a half year off your age by using a filter on your Facebook pics!


A new study by Eden Fantasies found that the average person gives their partner a B- grade in the bedroom. 

- If you think that's depressing, remember people were graded on a curve.

- On a bright note... you can bring your grade up by doing "extra credit".


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!