PETA has asked officials in Maine for permission to erect a gravestone to mark the site of a truck accident that resulted in the deaths of 4500 lobsters.
- Visitors to the grave will be encouraged to bring flowers and drawn butter.
- It's a great way to give a tragedy a fairy Tails ending.
Sarah Palin - John McCain's VP nominee in 2008 - will not be at his funeral because she's "not invited".
- She'll be part of the service however because she can see the National Cathedral from her house!
A new study found that people who eat large quantities of meat and cheese will live longer than people who don’t.
- At last! A joint study by Arby's and Velveeta.
Researchers claim that eating 9 tablespoons of Olive Oil a week works better for a man's "performance" than taking Viagra.
- NOTE: If you take Olive Oil and your uh, you know, lasts more than 4 hours... see a Chef immediately.
A couple from Texas has been charged with abandonment after leaving their 11 year old daughter home alone while they came to Detroit for a concert.
- We tried to reach a Mr. Macaulay Culkin for comment, but he was too busy booby trapping his house for burglars, to take the call.
- Police reported injuries to the first officer entering the house, who slipped on a floor full of marbles and a second officer who was hit in the face with a frying pan.
A brawl broke out on a flight from London to Ibiza after a drunken woman gave lap dances to strangers, flashed her breasts and did cartwheels down the aisle.
- Air Marshalls were totally okay with it until the cartwheel thing.
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!