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A video has gone viral of George W. Bush quietly sneaking a piece of candy to Michelle Obama during John McCain's funeral service. 

- Turns out W. split his Twix with her. He gave her the Left Side and he ate the Right Side. 

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U2 abruptly ended its Berlin concert after Bono completely lost his voice on stage.

- This is one of the perks of seeing a Britney Spears concert. It doesn't matter if she has a voice since she's lip-syncing.

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A new study found water inside Jupiter’s Great Red Spot, which raises the prospect that intelligent life may exist on the planet.

- But still no signs of intelligent life on THIS planet.

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The owners of the adult web site PornHub are negotiating with Kanye West to direct their upcoming awards show. 

- No matter who wins, he'll claim that "Beyonce had the greatest sex tape of all time!"

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A drunken Florida man was arrested for assault after he licked his finger and stuck it in his girlfriends ear in order to give her a "Wet Willy".

- It's a good thing he didn't put her head in the toilet and give her a "Swirly" or he'd be facing the Death Penalty.

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A study by the University of South Wales uncovered a so-called anti-aging "technique" that they claim could see people living to be 150 years old. 

- It's known as "The Betty White Plan".

- A better "technique" is to just lie about you age. 

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

 

 

 

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