A video has gone viral of George W. Bush quietly sneaking a piece of candy to Michelle Obama during John McCain's funeral service. 

- Turns out W. split his Twix with her. He gave her the Left Side and he ate the Right Side. 


U2 abruptly ended its Berlin concert after Bono completely lost his voice on stage.

- This is one of the perks of seeing a Britney Spears concert. It doesn't matter if she has a voice since she's lip-syncing.


A new study found water inside Jupiter’s Great Red Spot, which raises the prospect that intelligent life may exist on the planet.

- But still no signs of intelligent life on THIS planet.


The owners of the adult web site PornHub are negotiating with Kanye West to direct their upcoming awards show. 

- No matter who wins, he'll claim that "Beyonce had the greatest sex tape of all time!"


A drunken Florida man was arrested for assault after he licked his finger and stuck it in his girlfriends ear in order to give her a "Wet Willy".

- It's a good thing he didn't put her head in the toilet and give her a "Swirly" or he'd be facing the Death Penalty.


A study by the University of South Wales uncovered a so-called anti-aging "technique" that they claim could see people living to be 150 years old. 

- It's known as "The Betty White Plan".

- A better "technique" is to just lie about you age. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!