Stormy Daniels came to the defense of First Lady Melania Trump over the weekend, saying “people should stop speaking for her” and making speculations about her feelings.

- And who better to know how Melainia feels than a woman who claims she had sex with HER husband? 


A new study found that Orangutans frequently use "Medicinal Plants" to treat their sore muscles. 

- They are doing it on the sly now but are hoping some "Medicinal Plant Dispensaries" will be legalized by Orangutanian voters in November. 


Sesame Street is suing producers of the new R-rated movie "The Happytime Murders" because it features Sesame Street-like puppets snorting cocaine and working as prostitutes. 

- We finally know what Miss Piggy did to bring home the bacon. 


Students at an elementary school in Atlanta WILL recite the Pledge of Allegiance in school each morning thanks to angry parents who protested the Principal's original decision to scrap the Pledge for a school chant. 

- The Principal added, "Well... if the kids don't like reciting the Pledge, they can always take a knee!!!" 


IBM is working on technology that will sense when you need a cup of coffee and then deliver it to you by Drone. 

- Which is perfect for people who are too lazy to make a cup of Joe on their own. 

- I'm amazed they didn't come up with this before. But better Latte than never. (rim shot!)


The new generation of iPhones won't be unveiled until next month, but insiders say they'll be even bigger than the current models. 

- There's even a name for the giant iPhones. They're called "Laptop Computers". 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!