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The United States and Mexico reportedly reached a preliminary NAFTA deal that will be finalized in the coming days. 

- That according to a recording from Omarosa. 

*****

82 year old Robert Redford says his new movie, "The Old Man and the Gun" will be his last before retiring. 

- With the possible exception of "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance-Hey-You-Kid-Get-Offa-My-Lawn". 

*****

In an expletive filled rant, a Canadian Bridezilla called off her $60,000 wedding when friends refused to pay the $1500 she demanded per invite. 

- If you still want to get her a gift, she's registered at "Bed, Psychopath & Beyond". 

*****

Alec Baldwin will play Bruce Wayne's father in the newest Batman movie "Joker" and he say's he'll model the character on Donald Trump. 

- In other words, Alec's gonna make a pile of cash by bringing the same Trump impression he does on SNL to the Big Screen. 

*****

Officials in France closed a public beach because a sex-starved dolphin keeps bumping into female swimmers.

- In his defense, the Dolphin didn't do it on Porpoise.

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A small southern town... Mayo, Florida... announced that it's changing it's name to "Miracle Whip, Florida". 

- The town is Sandwiched between Sarasota and Bradenton. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

 

 

 

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