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Madonna is being blasted on Social Media after her "Tribute" to Aretha Franklin at last nights Video Music Awards ended up being all about... Madonna. 

- Hey... at least she didn't sleep with anybody during the show. (As far as we know).  

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A robber recently stole $1,000 worth of vape pens from a Mount Juliet, Tennessee gas station.

- Police say the suspect is armed, dangerous, and trying to quit cigarettes.

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The Miami Herald newspaper has endorsed a Congressional Candidate who claims that she was abducted by "3 large, blond aliens" and taken aboard their Mothership.

- I think we can all agree on a candidate who reaches across the aisle and gets beamed up to Outer Space! 

- Blond Aliens, eh? I'm betting they use "Miss Clairol Number-Area-51".

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Hillary Clinton will reportedly host what are being called "Intimate Dinners and Discussions" to raise money for Democratic Candidates. 

- Actually, Hillary will handle the "Dinners and Discussions" and Bill will focus on the "Intimate" parts. 

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Subway trains in Brooklyn, NY had to be redirected after a pair of Goats wandered on to the tracks Monday. 

- Attn: KIDS! Don't try this at home!

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After 116 years - and pressure from PETA, Nabisco has removed the cages from boxes of Animal Crackers leaving the Elephant and his friends roaming free on the front of each box. 

- Finally! Free Range Crackers!

- The elephant said, "I'll never forget this historic day". Then again, elephants don't forget ANYTHING. 

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A Massachusetts Golfer was arrested after he bit off the finger of another golfer during an argument on the links. 

- The man say he misses his finger, but is just grateful he didn't have his putter out at the time. 

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

 

 

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